Messenger said:
Let's chip in to purchase a big red phone for each staff member. That way, we'd have an instant hotline to them so they could more efficiently move the aforementioned spam!
How do I think of these things!? They just come to me!
:shock:
The above post was written by something so confused, it doesn't know whether to scratch its watch or wind its ass. How about putting that into proper syntax, form, and grammar so that I can at least understand what you are saying before I dismiss it?
It's just as well you can type, for if you had to speak your mind, you'd be speechless. You're just another Internet-addicted idiot suffering from diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the mind. Well, you're certainly thoughtless; I just wish that you were keyboard-less, too. To quote Thomas Brackett Reed: "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
You are about as entertaining as watching grass grow in a windowbox. What do you do for a living? You are living, aren't you? Looking at you, Darwin would NOT be pleased to see how inefficiently evolution sometimes works. Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if you didn't have that botched back street lobotomy that left you that crisscrossed shoelace scar on your forehead; if your weren't so fat that your cereal bowl has its own lifeguard, or if you didn't have a face so ugly that even your mother didn't know which end to put the diaper on. Who am I kidding? You would.
It sounds like English; it even looks like English, but I can't understand a word you're blabbering. You should offer your posting style to hospital operating theatres as a highly-effective alternative to unconsciousness-inducing medications.
Why don't you shrink your head and use it as a paperweight? It's not much use for writing intelligent posts with, that's for sure. Wouldn't clues have more room to fit in your head if you got rid of some of the gobbledygook in there? Have you ever noticed that whenever you sit behind a keyboard, some idiot starts typing? As Abba Eban so aptly said: "His ignorance is encyclopedic."
If that post was intended as a joke, you forgot to include the punch line. There's nothing wrong with you that couldn't be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet, or, better yet, suicide. Maybe you wouldn't be such a Jerk-In-The-Box if you weren't living proof that stupid people should not breed; if your weren't so fat that the Brooklyn Bridge would collapse if you ever tried to go Bungee Jumping off of it, or if you didn't have a face that could scare a hungry wolf off a meat truck. Nah, of course you would.
Sorry. I don't speak retardese. Can you get someone to translate into meaningful English before you post, please? How about putting that into proper syntax, form, and grammar so that I can at least understand what you are saying before I dismiss it?
Are you normally this dumb or are you just having a blonde moment? Generally, there is nothing wrong with having nothing worthwhile to say - unless you insist on saying it. Well, you're certainly thoughtless; I just wish that you were keyboard-less, too. As Robert Wilensky said: "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."
Is there a gibberish translator in the house? I can't make head nor nail of that uber-babble you flung onto the screen during your latest spasmodic seizure. In future, kindly proofread your posts before assaulting unsuspecting readers of this message board with a litany of misspellings, egregious grammatical errors, and other verbal atrocities.
You read like a gimpzoid teenager splashing spit onto the monitor. Don’t you ever have a point beyond giving your fingers some exercise by dancing them randomly over the keyboard? Does your train of thought have a caboose? Oh well, at least you only charge what your free advice is worth. I am reminded of something relevant that Benjamin Disraeli said: "He was distinguished for ignorance - for he had only one idea and that was wrong."
You are about as entertaining as watching grass grow in a windowbox. What do you do for a living? You are living, aren't you? I'd get more pleasure from running my nostrils down a cactus, than reading another contribution from you. Maybe you wouldn't be such a Jerk-In-The-Box if you weren't intellectually outclassed by dead sheep; if your weren't so fat that when you stand on the weighing scale, it reads: "Sorry, we don't weigh livestock.", or if you didn't have a face that would give Freddie Kruger nightmares. No, come to think of it, you would.
You post in a way that makes slugs and other invertebrates look like Nobel Prize winners. Clearly, you spend way too much time in darkened rooms in front of your seven-year-old computer turning a whiter shade of pale. Go outside once in a while and breathe, before your brain starts to rot from all that festering stagnation and cognitive dysfunction.
I don't think you are a fool after reading your post, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others? It's truly amazing the way you never let an idea interrupt the flow of your typing, but then, making sense isn't your area of expertise, is it? Reading your post makes blindness a wonderful thing to look forward to. Oh well, as the late Douglas Adams said: "You live and learn. At any rate, you live."
I'm busy trying to imagine you with a personality. Maybe you'd be less boring once I got to know you, but I don't want to take that chance. You are like watching Amputee Field Hockey: pathetic, and very quickly disgusting. Maybe you wouldn't be such a Jerk-In-The-Box if you weren't so stupid that even single-celled organisms out score you in IQ tests; if your weren't so fat that your local 'All-You-Can-Eat' buffet had to install speed bumps, or if you weren't uglier than the north-facing end of a south-bound mule. Nah, of course you would.
You would be out of your depth in a parking lot puddle. If ignorance were a disability, you'd get the full pension. Oh well, at least you only charge what your free advice is worth. As Robert Wilensky said: "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."
Most repair manuals are far more interesting than you, and far less turgid to read. If I had wanted to talk to somebody with your personality, I would be at the damn pet store talking to the lizards. Maybe you wouldn't be such a Jerk-In-The-Box if you weren't afflicted with mental retardation; if your weren't so fat that all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 80 Patrons OR You.", or if you didn't have a face so ugly that even your mother didn't know which end to put the diaper on. Nah, of course you would.
Your post is a tedious, homogenised, chameleon-esque scribble which amounts to nothing more than the demented cacophonous racket of a drugged lunatic banging loudly on kitchen pots and pans. Your post is an orgy of stultifying cacophonous verbal depravity; an exercise in literary impotence, and an offense to all of good taste and decency.
If your brain matter was axle grease, there wouldn't be enough in your head to grease the dynamo on a lightening bug's ass. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself on the Internet. Anyway, who was talking to you or even taking you under consideration? I am reminded of something relevant that Benjamin Disraeli said: "He was distinguished for ignorance - for he had only one idea and that was wrong."
You amaze me! I didn't think it was possible for one person to possess such a vast reservoir of undiluted gibberish! Does your train of thought have a caboose? Anyway, who was talking to you or even taking you under consideration? To quote Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
When god was handing out personalities, you must have been holding the door. You're so boring, even a boomerang wouldn't come back to you. If I had wanted to talk to somebody with your personality, I would be at the damn pet store talking to the lizards. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you weren't afflicted with mental retardation; if your weren't so fat that when you stand on the weighing scale, it reads: "To be continued!", or if you didn't have a face so ugly that Peeping Toms break into your house and close the blinds. No, come to think of it, you would.
Just when I think I've read the stupidest post ever, you go and post another. You should offer your posting style to hospital operating theatres as a highly-effective alternative to unconsciousness-inducing medications.
Here's a tip: no one will ever know that you've had a lobotomy if you wear a wig to hide to the scars; stop posting your drivel on message boards, and learn to control the slobbering. If ignorance were a disability, you'd get the full pension. Have you ever noticed that whenever you sit behind a keyboard, some idiot starts typing? Oh well, as the late Douglas Adams said: "You live and learn. At any rate, you live."
In short, shut the fuck up, Whiney little girl.
