MacGyver
New member
So there I was, 3 miles from the Pakistani boarder and I get word that old Osama is hatching a new plot. So much for an evening of relaxing and watching what passes for football in England!
Word from the foundation has it that Osama is combing Gatorade with some common peroxide liquid gel that’ll make for a pretty powerful bomb when you trigger it using an ipod or cell phone. Wow - really?
Not that I have any connections to either side of this partnership, I can’t stand Gatorade. But I am going to assume that the good folks at Gatorade are not pleased that the terrorists are alleging to cause, in the words of the British authorities, "mass murder on an unimaginable scale" (not so fast, I have a fairly good imagination, but come on.) are going to do so using liquid explosives concealed in sports drinks.
Grant it, they may have been planning to use PowerAde but that would be sort of lame in my mind. Or they may have had in mind the dreaded ALL-STAR sport drink but that'd just be a dead give-away because everyone knows that stuff is totally undrinkable.
I can say with actual experience that Gatorade is available in Northwest Frontier Province Pakistan, the part that butts right up against Afghanistan and where some of the scheming behind this latest plot may have taken place.
In fact I quite imagine the scene where old Osama may have been sitting with his young Jihadi lads brainstorming terror and feeling a need to replenish his essential nutrients (he does supposedly have a weak liver...you see where I’m headed with this?) when he requests a burkha clad babe to deliver him some haterdade i.e. Gatorade. And when she does and old O spies the wide variety of flavored offerings he has to choose from the Gatorade case picked up at the local Tora Bora costco, bam a terror plot is conceived. A call gets placed to an agent and sleeper cells the world over are mobilized! I told you my imagination is pretty good.
This has not been a good week for Pepsi execs (the parent company for Gatorade). First the hysteria in India over the revelations that both Pepsi and Coke are all jacked up with pesticides and now this. Note to self: sell Pepsi stock.
Bottom line: Find Osama and this stuff goes away.
But even if I didn’t find Osama, I am re-assured that as my travel day back to the states approaches, President Bush and Pete Thornton are both "closely monitoring the situation" from their respective vacations. Thanks guys for watching my back.
Anyway, after my latest little adventure, I figure I’m about due for some R and R. That brings me here.
Back in a bit. Seems I need to cut my way into the other forums. Unless someone wants to open things up so I don't have to start cutting my way out.
Word from the foundation has it that Osama is combing Gatorade with some common peroxide liquid gel that’ll make for a pretty powerful bomb when you trigger it using an ipod or cell phone. Wow - really?
Not that I have any connections to either side of this partnership, I can’t stand Gatorade. But I am going to assume that the good folks at Gatorade are not pleased that the terrorists are alleging to cause, in the words of the British authorities, "mass murder on an unimaginable scale" (not so fast, I have a fairly good imagination, but come on.) are going to do so using liquid explosives concealed in sports drinks.
Grant it, they may have been planning to use PowerAde but that would be sort of lame in my mind. Or they may have had in mind the dreaded ALL-STAR sport drink but that'd just be a dead give-away because everyone knows that stuff is totally undrinkable.
I can say with actual experience that Gatorade is available in Northwest Frontier Province Pakistan, the part that butts right up against Afghanistan and where some of the scheming behind this latest plot may have taken place.
In fact I quite imagine the scene where old Osama may have been sitting with his young Jihadi lads brainstorming terror and feeling a need to replenish his essential nutrients (he does supposedly have a weak liver...you see where I’m headed with this?) when he requests a burkha clad babe to deliver him some haterdade i.e. Gatorade. And when she does and old O spies the wide variety of flavored offerings he has to choose from the Gatorade case picked up at the local Tora Bora costco, bam a terror plot is conceived. A call gets placed to an agent and sleeper cells the world over are mobilized! I told you my imagination is pretty good.
This has not been a good week for Pepsi execs (the parent company for Gatorade). First the hysteria in India over the revelations that both Pepsi and Coke are all jacked up with pesticides and now this. Note to self: sell Pepsi stock.
Bottom line: Find Osama and this stuff goes away.
But even if I didn’t find Osama, I am re-assured that as my travel day back to the states approaches, President Bush and Pete Thornton are both "closely monitoring the situation" from their respective vacations. Thanks guys for watching my back.
Anyway, after my latest little adventure, I figure I’m about due for some R and R. That brings me here.
Back in a bit. Seems I need to cut my way into the other forums. Unless someone wants to open things up so I don't have to start cutting my way out.
