Fake Newsheadlines

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Lifted from a Geocities website I can't remember.

 

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There's more, but I'm too lazy to upload them. I think we should do our own.

 

[CaptainWacky]

RAPE MAN 69 ARRESTED FOR MURDER.

"We were surprised it wasn't for rape!" say victims.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

US THREATENS 'DECISIVE ACTION' SHOULD THE INTERNET CONTINUE NUCLEAR PROGRAMME

BRITISH GOVERNMENT MISLAYS ISLE OF WHITE AFTER SENDING BY UNREGISTERED MAIL

LESS THAN ONE CHINESE MAN LEFT IN THE WILD CLAIMS EXPERT

TIME TEAM SPECIAL REVEALS ODD SOCKS DISCOVERED LIVING IN SUBTERRANEAN CITY

JEREMY SPAKE ADMITS THIMBLE HORDING SHAME

DENIALS OF NUCLEAR WEAPON TESTS PERSIST FROM THE INTERNET'S AMBASSADOR TO US

'I WAS A VIRGIN ALL ALONG' BOASTS RUSSELL BRAND

JORDANS TITS MADE FROM COMPACTED VOMIT, TRUTH UNFOLDS AFTER PUBLIC BURST

'GOD TOLD ME TO DO IT' CLAIMS BUSH AFTER AIRSTRIKE ON PRO-INTERNET MILITANTS

 

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BEADLE'S HAND FOUND ON BARGAIN HUNT.

ROLFAROO SELECTED AS EMBLEM FOR NEW WELSH FLAG.

DEAN CAIN FOUND EATING COTTON WOOL IN BASEMENT. CURSE OF SUPERMAN RETURNS?

CLINT EASTWOOD ADDICTED TO ESTROGEN TABLETS. TO STAR IN "MUCKY HARRIETTE"?

GEORGE BUSH TO DECLARE WAR AGAINST HIMSELF?

 

[CaptainWacky]

JOHN PRESCOTT BULIMIC

Oh wait, that one's real.