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Faye Turney to appear on Strictly Come Dancing!?

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
REPORT BY THE SUN

PRETTY blond freed hostage and mother and HERO Faye Turney today kicked off SPECULATION that she may appear in HIT BBC series Strictly Come Dancing.

"I like that show, Brucie is so funny!" said the SAILOR while brushing her little girl's HAIR. The Sun is already starting a CAMPAIGN for Faye, who is quite fat to be honest, to WIN the show for OUR BOYS serving in VARIOUS COUNTRIES.

"I think she'd be great!" said a SOURCE.

"Being locked up in Iran for two weeks gave her time to practice her dancing!" joked comic RUSSEL BRAND to a FRIEND, possibly.

We do not know how President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran reacted to the NEWS but we suspect he had THIS to say: "I can't believe this shit, she should be home looking after her babies while the west falls, praise Allah and shit, I support terrorism by the way, we hate pretty blonds because they make our women look like UGLY GOATS!"

George Michael was not available for comment because he's GAY and uses DRUGS and we don't like him.
 
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