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Festivus 2017 thread!

Is this where we air our grievences? When do we get to do that? I want to do that now. But actually I don't have any for anyone here, I would have to make some up, but I have a ton for some OTHER people! And boy they won't know what hit them!
 
I'm ready for the feets of strength. I walked barefoot through hot garbage and raw sewage. They smell very strong(and horrible).
 
Me too!

Dear Santa,
Please forgive me for being a complete asshole today, but it is only because I don't have the guts to tell my family to fuck off.
 
I don't have any specific grievances. However while attempting to finish my weekly grocery shopping last night I found myself saying "I hate humans" out loud about every 3 minutes. Oh wait, I do: DON'T STOP YOUR FUCKING CART SO IT BLOCKS THE WHOLE AISLE AND THEN JUST STARE OFF INTO SPACE WITH A VACANT EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE. GET OFF YOUR PHONE. IF THEY TRUSTED YOU TO GET THE GROCERIES, THEY'D BETTER ABIDE BY YOUR JUDGMENT. IF THEY DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU BRING BACK, LET THEM DO THE FUCKING SHOPPING. DON'T BUY FUCKING CIGARETTES AT THE CHECKOUT BECAUSE THEN THE CHECKER HAS TO STOP WHAT SHE'S DOING, WALK TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORE AND GET THEM FOR YOU. BUT IF YOU DO AND SHE DOES, DON'T SEND HER BACK BECAUSE SHE GOT THE WRONG KIND. I HATE HUMANS.
 
If you're the first car at a stoplight (especially a left turn lane) you have one fucking job: WATCH FOR THE LIGHT TO TURN GREEN AND GO WHEN IT DOES. I want to open carry so that if the driver of the lead car is fucking off on his phone or daydreaming or whatever, I can go execute them. In retrospect that probably won't help the traffic pattern, but I'll feel a lot better.
 
Louisville, KY. And drivers are generally better here than in my old home of Portland, OR (where many are likely stoned), but I live off Dixie Highway and the lights there are maddeningly long. If you miss one, you might as well shut off the car and get out a book. Or surf the Web on your phone. And then miss the light changing and screw all the cars behind you. It's a viscous circle.
 
The porn site I like updates after I go to bed, so there's fresh porn waiting for me every morning. Last night I was up much later than usual so there's no new porn for me this morning.*

*OK. No new porn at *that* site. There's always new porn in the Internet. But surprisingly, not any really good clown gangbangs. I guess that's a separate grievance.
 
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