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FHM 100 sexiest 2007 is out...

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
UNMOLESTED LIST FIRST THEN (LIMITED COMMENTS)

1. Jessica Alba
2. Keeley Hazell
3. Eva Longoria
4. Adriana Lima
5. Scarlett Johansson
6. Hayden Panettiere
7. Cheryl Tweedy
8. Angelina Jolie
9. Emily Scott
10. Elisha Cuthbert
11. Eva Mendes
12. Keira Knightley
13. Evangeline Lilly
14. Christina Aguilera
15. Rachel Stevens
16. Kelly Brook
17. Sarah Harding
18. Beyonce Knowles
19. Alessandra Ambrosio
20. Cameron Diaz
21. Jessica Simpson
22. Nicole Scherzinger
23. Gemma Atkinson
24. Jessica Biel
25. Kate Middleton
26. Holly Willoughby
27. Nadine Coyle
28. Carmen Electra
29. Avril Lavigne
30. Lindsay Lohan
31. Charlotte McKenna
32. Charlize Theron
33. Halle Berry
34. Rachel Bilson
35. Jennifer Aniston
36. Eva Green
37. Abigail Clancy
38. Joss Stone
39. Hilary Duff
40. Kate Beckinsale
41. Hayley Parsons
42. Roxanne McKee
43. Jennifer Love Hewitt
44. Maria Sharapova
45. Sienna Miller
46. Billie Piper
47. Nicola Roberts
48. Holly Valance
49. Ali Larter
50. Anna Kournikova
51. Ana Beatriz Barros
52. Gisele Bundchen
53. Peaches Geldof
54. Britney Spears
55. Rihanna
56. Natalie Portman
57. Mischa Barton
58. Imogen Thomas
59. Michelle Ryan
60. Petra Nemcova
61. Kimberley Walsh
62. Kayleigh Pearson
63. Tanya Robinson
64. Alexa Chung
65. Charlotte Church
66. Amii Grove
67. Myleene Klass
68. Kate Moss
69. Fearne Cotton
70. Holly Newberry
71. Vikki Blows
72. Nikki Sanderson
73. Rosario Dawson
74. Jenna Jameson
75. Kirsten Dunst
76. Danielle Lloyd
77. Tera Patrick
78. Joanna Krupa
79. Tricia Helfer
80. Abi Titmuss
81. Charlotte Marshall
82. Noemie Lenoir
83. Michelle Marsh
84. Sophie Howard
85. Jenni Falconer
86. Kara Tointon
87. Jennifer Ellison
88. Melissa Theuriau
89. Jaime Pressly
90. Sophia Bush
91. Jennifer Garner
92. Lucy Pinder
93. Georgie Thompson
94. Heidi Range
95. Abi Harding
96. Melanie Slade
97. Pamela Anderson
98. Emma Watson
99. Ziyi Zhang
100. Lacey Turner
 
As usual they have taken my already abysmally low expectations and taken them to new levels of retardation.

Worst. List. Ever.



56. Natalie Portman


:roll:
 
Cameron Diaz: NUMBER 20

camerondiaz300x4001075cgd2.jpg


Natalie Portman: NUMBER 56


76918413tq3.jpg
 
1. Jessica Alba - I know some of you like her, she's okay, not one of my favourites.
2. Keeley Hazell - See above, really.
3. Eva Longoria - Meh.
4. Adriana Lima - Googled her because she's so high (I won't with most of the others)...she's okay.
5. Scarlett Johansson - Yes indeed!
6. Hayden Panettiere - If I ever get around to watch Heroes I've got a feeling she'll be a regular in my top five. And she must be the youngest on this list, SO I APPROVE LOL.
7. Cheryl Tweedy - In terms of common trash...she's fit. But meh.
8. Angelina Jolie - Why? Eww.
9. Emily Scott - Who?
10. Elisha Cuthbert - She's fit.
11. Eva Mendes - I can't be bothered looking up another Eva.
12. Keira Knightley - SHE'S HAD A ROUGH YEAR.
13. Evangeline Lilly - Hello there!
14. Christina Aguilera - Still fit.
15. Rachel Stevens - Still alive!?
16. Kelly Brook - Hi Gagh.
17. Sarah Harding - Another Girls Aloud trollop...she's okay looking.
18. Beyonce Knowles - Over-fucking-rated
19. Alessandra Ambrosio - Not even going to ask.
20. Cameron Diaz - WHAT THE FUCK? Not even top 100 material.
21. Jessica Simpson - Eww.
22. Nicole Scherzinger - Bit dodgy.
23. Gemma Atkinson - No.
24. Jessica Biel
25. Kate Middleton - This IS a joke, right?
26. Holly Willoughby - Is the Darkside stronger?
27. Nadine Coyle - No, but it is the more seductive.
28. Carmen Electra
29. Avril Lavigne - Used to be cute, doesn't look good lately from what I've seen.
30. Lindsay Lohan - ASJDGJLAGKSGJK
31. Charlotte McKenna
32. Charlize Theron
33. Halle Berry - Hotter than many who are above her, still wouldn't even be this high on MY list.
34. Rachel Bilson - Cute face, too skinny body.
35. Jennifer Aniston - Sympathy vote?
36. Eva Green - LOL LET'S JUST HAVE EVERY WOMAN NAMED EVA ON THE LIST EVER.
37. Abigail Clancy
38. Joss Stone - Obnoxious brat with annoying songs. YEAH I CAN SEE THE APPEAL.
39. Hilary Duff - See above.
40. Kate Beckinsale
41. Hayley Parsons
42. Roxanne McKee
43. Jennifer Love Hewitt - No. Just no.
44. Maria Sharapova - She's okay.
45. Sienna Miller - Hotter than most who are above her.
46. Billie Piper - Quite like her, but there's some other names we should have seen before even thinking of including Billie...
47. Nicola Roberts - The ugly ginger one from Girls Aloud makes the top 50.
48. Holly Valance - Didn't know she was still around.
49. Ali Larter
50. Anna Kournikova
51. Ana Beatriz Barros
52. Gisele Bundchen
53. Peaches Geldof - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK OFF, this year's Michelle Ryan.
54. Britney Spears - Nope.
55. Rihanna - Cute.
56. Natalie Portman - The hottest girl on this list. BUT NOT AS HOT AS PEACHES GELDOFF APPARENTLY.
57. Mischa Barton
58. Imogen Thomas - Hot topics, hot topics, hot topics!
59. Michelle Ryan - ...okay, she's this year's Michelle Ryan. AT LEAST NATALIE BEAT HER.
60. Petra Nemcova
61. Kimberley Walsh
62. Kayleigh Pearson
63. Tanya Robinson
64. Alexa Chung - Fit but presents some awful show with Ben Elton which I saw for three seconds once and ended up vomitting blood.
65. Charlotte Church - Look, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with her, she's a perfectly normal looking fairly attractive I guess girl, but why would ANYONE put her on their top sexiest women in the world allowing her to make the list, IT MAKES NO SENSE, CAP'N!
66. Amii Grove
67. Myleene Klass - Should be higher, actually.
68. Kate Moss - Should be lower. Like, not on the list.
69. Fearne Cotton
70. Holly Newberry
71. Vikki Blows - Is this a made up name?
72. Nikki Sanderson
73. Rosario Dawson
74. Jenna Jameson
75. Kirsten Dunst - I used to be a big fan of her, she's a mixed bag these days, still a million times hotter than Michelle Ryan lolg.sg
76. Danielle Lloyd - No no no no no no no.
77. Tera Patrick
78. Joanna Krupa
79. Tricia Helfer - AND THEY AHVE A PLAN.
80. Abi Titmuss
81. Charlotte Marshall
82. Noemie Lenoir
83. Michelle Marsh
84. Sophie Howard
85. Jenni Falconer
86. Kara Tointon
87. Jennifer Ellison
88. Melissa Theuriau - Am I supposed to know who these people are?
89. Jaime Pressly - When is My Name Is Earl season 2 on Channel 4, EH?
90. Sophia Bush
91. Jennifer Garner
92. Lucy Pinder
93. Georgie Thompson
94. Heidi Range - The white one from Sugababes, actually fitter than any of Girls Aloud in my limited experience.
95. Abi Harding
96. Melanie Slade
97. Pamela Anderson - Still?
98. Emma Watson - Well...it's a start.
99. Ziyi Zhang - SHE GAVE JACK HIS TATTOOS OMG...wait that was someone else never mind.
100. Lacey Turner

Surely Michelle Trachtenberg is a bit enough name to make it? Evangeline ranks high but Emilie de Ravin doesnt' even rank at all? And I've give up all hope of anyone but ME ever seeing Paquin's BEAUTIFUL SEX SOUL so I won't even comment on the fact that SHE SHOULD BE NUMBER ONE OR TWO AT LEAST
 
sORRY mENTALIST bUT mONGO tHINK nATALIE iS nO lONGER hOT. mAYBE 5 yEARS aGO bUT nOT nO mORE
 
mONGO tHOUGHT cAPTAINWACKY wAS gAY
 
Does this really mean I'm going to have to do a rundown with comments AGAIN this year? I was sort of thinking that I would try and avoid it but I'm thinking I may have to get my distain for FHM off my chest again.


Oh, and Mongo: Be silent, peon.
 
gASBOT is rolling over in his grave
 
Eva Longoria deserves better from you, Wacky.
 
She's not that great.
 
1. Jessica Alba extremly overated
2. Keeley Hazell who?
3. Eva Longoria who?
4. Adriana Lima who?
5. Scarlett Johansson Nice tats
6. Hayden Panettiere who?
7. Cheryl Tweedy who?
8. Angelina Jolie fish lips
9. Emily Scott who?
10. Elisha Cuthbert nice, could do with bigger norks though
11. Eva Mendes who?
12. Keira Knightley nice, needs bigger jugs
13. Evangeline Lilly good arse
14. Christina Aguilera scrubed up nice
15. Rachel Stevens who?
16. Kelly Brook soooo 1990s
17. Sarah Harding who?
18. Beyonce Knowles foxy
19. Alessandra Ambrosio who?
20. Cameron Diaz not as fit as she used to be
21. Jessica Simpson nice, needs bigger tits
22. Nicole Scherzinger who?
23. Gemma Atkinson who?
24. Jessica Biel wishes she was Alba
25. Kate Middleton who?
26. Holly Willoughby who?
27. Nadine Coyle who?
28. Carmen Electra looks good naked
29. Avril Lavigne are you fucking kidding me?
30. Lindsay Lohan too much up Mals arse
31. Charlotte McKenna who?
32. Charlize Theron ooooohhh yeah
33. Halle Berry nice face, shame about the boobs
34. Rachel Bilson who?
35. Jennifer Aniston how you doing?
36. Eva Green who?
37. Abigail Clancy who?
38. Joss Stone stoned more like
39. Hilary Duff is she up the?
40. Kate Beckinsale it would be nice to see her wearing something other than black leather in a film
41. Hayley Parsons who?
42. Roxanne McKee who?
43. Jennifer Love Hewitt I bet she does
44. Maria Sharapova who?
45. Sienna Miller who?
46. Billie Piper nice face, needs bigger jubblies
47. Nicola Roberts who?
48. Holly Valance meh
49. Ali Larter who?
50. Anna Kournikova lesser
51. Ana Beatriz Barros who?
52. Gisele Bundchen who?
53. Peaches Geldof who?
54. Britney Spears wtf, I say, wtf?
55. Rihanna who?
56. Natalie Portman nice face, could use bigger mellons
57. Mischa Barton who?
58. Imogen Thomas who?
59. Michelle Ryan Ricky!
60. Petra Nemcova who?
61. Kimberley Walsh who?
62. Kayleigh Pearson who?
63. Tanya Robinson who?
64. Alexa Chung who?
65. Charlotte Church I like her, nice baps
66. Amii Grove who?
67. Myleene Klass who?
68. Kate Moss I cant see her, shes stood behind a pencil
69. Fearne Cotton too everywhere at the moment, annoying
70. Holly Newberry who?
71. Vikki Blows I bet she does
72. Nikki Sanderson who?
73. Rosario Dawson should be higher on list
74. Jenna Jameson 20 years ago maybe
75. Kirsten Dunst overated
76. Danielle Lloyd overexposed
77. Tera Patrick who?
78. Joanna Krupa who?
79. Tricia Helfer should have been at number 6
80. Abi Titmuss ho
81. Charlotte Marshall who?
82. Noemie Lenoir who?
83. Michelle Marsh who?
84. Sophie Howard who?
85. Jenni Falconer who?
86. Kara Tointon who?
87. Jennifer Ellison who?
88. Melissa Theuriau who?
89. Jaime Pressly now she is hot, if she had to be this far down at least they could have had her at 69
90. Sophia Bush does she shave it?
91. Jennifer Garner nah
92. Lucy Pinder who?
93. Georgie Thompson who?
94. Heidi Range who?
95. Abi Harding who?
96. Melanie Slade who?
97. Pamela Anderson hello, its 1987 on the phone for you
98. Emma Watson peodo alert
99. Ziyi Zhang bless you
100. Lacey Turner who?
 
Cameron Diaz has to be the most fugliest woman in Hollywood. There is nothing remotely attractive about her. Blech!

I think the only reason half of these people make the list is because they're well-known, rather than sexy. I mean really...Britney "Baldy" Spears? She's sexy? Damn, no wonder I have a hard time finding men who think I'm attractive. Perhaps if I shave my head, do some coke, and go Mary Poppins on a minivan, I too can be considered sexy.
 
Eva Longoria is mutton dressed as pork
 
I think she's sexy, if a little skinny and possibly up herself.

Cameron Diaz used to be hot, but now she looks old.
 
Whisky, don't you watch Heroes? Hayden Panettiere is the cheerleader.
 
No time, downloaded the first, never watched it, meant to watch it when it came on sci fi, never did, its on BBC2 later this year, I recon that will be my next chance.
 
She's hot too, but has those funny eyebrows and hangs out with Paris Hilton blurgh
 
Hopefully she'll get over the Paris Hilton thing before she starts running around without any underwear on and bam! before you know it she's shaved her head. I blame Paris for all the girls in Hollywood having meltdowns.

Whisky, you need to watch Heroes. It's as good to watch as Lost. Not the same thing, but good in the same kind of way.
 
I know, I hear lots of good things, but theres not enough hours in teh day to cram in all the things I need to do lately.
 
A list without Michelle is a list I don't want to read.
 
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