FHM 100 sexiest 2014 (annotated)

[CaptainWacky]

Just posting this shit because I do every year, but obviously I don't care or anything...

Unmolested list first, comments to follow.

1. Jennifer Lawrence
2. Michelle Keegan
3. Rihanna
4. Emily Ratajkowski
5. Kaley Cuoco
6. Mila Kunis
7. Beyoncé
8. Lucy Mecklenburgh
9. Nicole Scherzinger
10. Scarlett Johansson
11. Emilia Clarke
12. Katy Perry
13. Cheryl Cole
14. Helen Flanagan
15. Pixie Lott
16. Keeley Hazell
17. Rachel Riley
18. Kate Upton
19. Emma Watson
20. Emma Stone
21. Nigella Lawson
22. Amy Willerton
23. Kelly Brook
24. Mellissa Clarke
25. Georgia Salpa
26. Margot Robbie
27. Taylor Swift
28. Jorgie Porter
29. Megan Fox
30. Susanna Reid
31. Kendall Jenner
32. Jenna-Louise Coleman
33. Amy Adams
34. Zooey Deschanel
35. Rita Ora
36. Jennifer Aniston
37. Holly Willoughy
38. Kim Kardashian
39. Alison Brie
40. Abbey Clancy
41. Lucy Watson
42. Kate Moss
43. Meagan Good
44. Oona Chaplin
45. Cressida Bonas
46. Alexandra Daddario
47. Amanda Seyfried
48. Miranda Kerr
49. Emma Rigby
50. Irina Shayk
51. Rosie Jones
52. Sofia Vergara
53. Melanie Iglesias
54. Cara Delevingne
55. Mollie King
56. Selena Gomez
57. Laura Whitmore
58. Pippa Middleton
59. Britney Spears
60. Ellie Goulding
61. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
62. Candice Swanepoel
63. Imogen Poots
64. Jacqueline Jossa
65. Alana Blanchard
66. Bar Rafaeli
67. Georgia May Foote
68. Christina Hendricks
69. Carmen Electra
70. Emily Atack
71. Danielle Sharp
72. Luisa Zissman
73. Sarah Hyland
74. Emily Blunt
75. Ashley Sky
76. Natalie Emmanuel
77. Ariana Grande
78. Vanessa Hudgens
79. Miley Cyrus
80. Hayley Williams
81. Cobie Smulders
82. Tulisa
83. Jessica Alba
84. Diana Agron
85. Taylor Momsen
86. Nicole Neal
87. Shakira
88. Daisy Lowe
89. Louis Griffin (from 'Family Guy')
90. Roxanne Pallett
91. Nicola Peltz
92. Laura Robson
93. Sandra Bullock
94. Nadia Forde
95. Emily Berrington
96. Gemma Atkinson
97. Gal Gadot
98. Andrea McLean
99. Kacey Barnfield
100. Millie Mackintosh

 

[CaptainWacky]

1. Jennifer Lawrence - Well, she wouldn't be my number one but at least she's someone good.
2. Michelle Keegan - Some orange soap person. Who cares.
3. Rihanna - Is she actually hot?
4. Emily Ratajkowski - Apparently she's famous for the "Blurred Lines" video so she can go fuck herself.
5. Kaley Cuoco - NOPE.
6. Mila Kunis - Top fifty, maybe.
7. Beyoncé - I would pick her over Rihanna.
8. Lucy Mecklenburgh - Some fucking TOWIE thing fuck off.
9. Nicole Scherzinger - Meh.
10. Scarlett Johansson - First one who'd actually be in my top ten.
11. Emilia Clarke - I'm not even sure if she's the hottest girl in Game Of Thrones but yeah, why not.
12. Katy Perry - She's too...something.
13. Cheryl Cole - NOOOOPE.
14. Helen Flanagan - Famous for being thick. Nope.
15. Pixie Lott - Okay?
16. Keeley Hazell - I vaguely remember her.
17. Rachel Riley - I guess Channel 4 paid them for this (she's nice though.)
18. Kate Upton - I don't have anything against her but not really my thing.
19. Emma Watson - Too high but better than Tomtrek thinks she is.
20. Emma Stone - Too high but I like her.
21. Nigella Lawson - LOLOLOL
22. Amy Willerton - Who?
23. Kelly Brook - She's a mainstay, fair enough.
24. Mellissa Clarke
25. Georgia Salpa - She's attractive.
26. Margot Robbie - Yeah I like her but too high.
27. Taylor Swift - Also too high but yeah I'm pro Swift.
28. Jorgie Porter
29. Megan Fox - I mean this is still too high but it's kind of funny that she's dropped below even Nigella Lawson.
30. Susanna Reid - What.
31. Kendall Jenner
32. Jenna-Louise Coleman - They didn't get her name right even.
33. Amy Adams - Yeah, a surprisingly good choice here.
34. Zooey Deschanel - I don't find her hot but JGL likes her so fine.
35. Rita Ora - Who.
36. Jennifer Aniston - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE.
37. Holly Willoughy - She's cute but meh.
38. Kim Kardashian - Why?
39. Alison Brie - Yeah she'd be in my top 39 but Gillian Jacobs destroys her.
40. Abbey Clancy
41. Lucy Watson - She's a Made In Chelsea thing...you can always tell which entries have been paid for by agents.
42. Kate Moss - Is she still a thing.
43. Meagan Good
44. Oona Chaplin - Surprisingly high. Must have a good agent? She is good though.
45. Cressida Bonas - Yeah I'd pick her over Kate lol.
46. Alexandra Daddario - Since I watched True Detective I can support this.
47. Amanda Seyfried - Yep, she's lovely, should be higher.
48. Miranda Kerr - Getting bored so I'll skip a few.
49. Emma Rigby
50. Irina Shayk
51. Rosie Jones
52. Sofia Vergara
53. Melanie Iglesias
54. Cara Delevingne - I seriously see how name all the fucking time and have no idea why she's famous or who she is.
55. Mollie King
56. Selena Gomez - She's kind of creepy looking.
57. Laura Whitmore
58. Pippa Middleton
59. Britney Spears - The fuck.
60. Ellie Goulding - I think she's good looking.
61. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
62. Candice Swanepoel
63. Imogen Poots - Yes! Poots!
64. Jacqueline Jossa
65. Alana Blanchard
66. Bar Rafaeli
67. Georgia May Foote
68. Christina Hendricks - Yeah but Jessica Pare's better.
69. Carmen Electra - Again, how does ayone even know who she is these days?
70. Emily Atack
71. Danielle Sharp
72. Luisa Zissman - Went off her.
73. Sarah Hyland
74. Emily Blunt - If they wanted a random English actress why not the similar but superior Rebecca Hall?
75. Ashley Sky
76. Natalie Emmanuel - Yeah, another Game Of Thrones girl and she is pretty but Natalie Dormer? Sophie Turner? Rose Leslie? Hodor?
77. Ariana Grande
78. Vanessa Hudgens
79. Miley Cyrus - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE.
80. Hayley Williams
81. Cobie Smulders - She's really good.
82. Tulisa
83. Jessica Alba
84. Diana Agron
85. Taylor Momsen - Sex positive hero.
86. Nicole Neal
87. Shakira - Because hips don't something something.
88. Daisy Lowe
89. Louis Griffin (from 'Family Guy') - THANKS FOR FUCKING CLARIFYING.
90. Roxanne Pallett
91. Nicola Peltz
92. Laura Robson - The tennis player? Okay?
93. Sandra Bullock - Umm...I guess Gravity really helped her popularity.
94. Nadia Forde
95. Emily Berrington
96. Gemma Atkinson - Not Gemma Arterton. Don't get excited.
97. Gal Gadot
98. Andrea McLean
99. Kacey Barnfield
100. Millie Mackintosh

Overall I'd give this list TWO OUT OF TEN.

 

[whisky]

So a cartoon woman with a triangle for a nose is higher on the list than the new wonderwoman?

And its Lois, so they spelled her wrong too.

 

[The Tomtrek]

It's a bad list for bad people.

 

[whisky]

Francine is way hotter than Lois anyway.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Not to mention The Crushinator.

 

[Cassie]

HODOR!!!

I don't understand how they make this list. I totally agree that some of these people must have bought their way onto it. Not because they are ugly or anything, but mostly just unknown or out of date.

 

[whisky]

They probably just shuffle 80% of last years list around, then look for some new people to add.

 

[CaptainWacky]

They have voting on their website for a month or so. I just don't see typical FHM readers voting for Jennifer Aniston or Nigella Lawson or Sandra Bullock. It must be fixed to some extent.