CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
I had a mild interest in seeing it last year (that's when it came out, right?) but that disappeared when I read the reports of Paquin's lack of screentime (oh, and all the reviews saying it was shite.) Then I kind of forgot that it existed at all but rembembered today and...
It was shite.
The opening cheap, perfunctory Danger Room scene sets the tone for the rest of the half-assed, can't-really-be-bothered-making-sense movie. X2 is pretty much my favourite suepr hero movie and this was so jarringly ineferior. Bryan Singer should have directed it at the same time. Somehow. I think they managed to ruin every character too...
Wolverine: Did Hugh Jackman forget how to play him or did he just stop caring? He was just a guy with claws, rather than Wolverne.
Storm: Well, Halle Berry's performance was no worse than the previous movies, at least, but she was nothing more than adequate.
Cyclops: Oh dear...
Professor X: They just turned him into an incompetent asshole! What was with him blaming Wolverine for Jean escaping WHEN IT WAS HIS FAULT...shite. His death scene was one of the better moments in the movie (but oh look, he's in coma guy's body! Why would the X-Men even want him back now?)
Magneto: Ian McKellen was the only actor whose performance was up the standard of the previous movies, yet they still fucked up the character with the bit where he just coldly walked out on Mystique about three seconds after she turned human! Come on, he would have been A BIT upset, at least. And his shitty "the pawns go first" plan at the end. Why didn't he just throw the flaming cars FIRST to take out the soliders? gsklnnnm
The President of the USA: Deserves a mention because he was SO SHITE with his "my God!" lines.
Kitty: Cute, but too young looking even for me(!)
Bobby: Asshole.
Pyro: Was alright. Did he die? Guess we'll never know.
Rogue: I knew it was going to be bad, BUT NOT THIS BAD. Besides that she only got about three minutes total screentime (and only about ten seconds in the suit) they completely got it wrong with her taking the cure. Okay, maybe in the real world she WOULD take the cure, but following MOVIE LOGIC she should have accepted that she was an X-Man and showed up in the final battle to help/save the day. And only one scene with Wolverine that wasn't even good! And no cleavage shots! How dare they.
Beast: Kelsey Grammer was good but underused.
The final battle wasn't up to much either. I was expecting a lot of mutant on mutant action but instead Magneto's "mutant" army consisted of...a bunch of guys in hoodies going "RRRRRAARGH!" and running to certain death. AMAZING.
Oh, wow, winged guy saved his asshole dad from dying I CARE SO MUCH.
Also: no humour except the bit where the woman locked her car door after Magneto moved the bridge.
WORST MOVIE SINCE DODGEBALL
It was shite.
The opening cheap, perfunctory Danger Room scene sets the tone for the rest of the half-assed, can't-really-be-bothered-making-sense movie. X2 is pretty much my favourite suepr hero movie and this was so jarringly ineferior. Bryan Singer should have directed it at the same time. Somehow. I think they managed to ruin every character too...
Wolverine: Did Hugh Jackman forget how to play him or did he just stop caring? He was just a guy with claws, rather than Wolverne.
Storm: Well, Halle Berry's performance was no worse than the previous movies, at least, but she was nothing more than adequate.
Cyclops: Oh dear...
Professor X: They just turned him into an incompetent asshole! What was with him blaming Wolverine for Jean escaping WHEN IT WAS HIS FAULT...shite. His death scene was one of the better moments in the movie (but oh look, he's in coma guy's body! Why would the X-Men even want him back now?)
Magneto: Ian McKellen was the only actor whose performance was up the standard of the previous movies, yet they still fucked up the character with the bit where he just coldly walked out on Mystique about three seconds after she turned human! Come on, he would have been A BIT upset, at least. And his shitty "the pawns go first" plan at the end. Why didn't he just throw the flaming cars FIRST to take out the soliders? gsklnnnm
The President of the USA: Deserves a mention because he was SO SHITE with his "my God!" lines.
Kitty: Cute, but too young looking even for me(!)
Bobby: Asshole.
Pyro: Was alright. Did he die? Guess we'll never know.
Rogue: I knew it was going to be bad, BUT NOT THIS BAD. Besides that she only got about three minutes total screentime (and only about ten seconds in the suit) they completely got it wrong with her taking the cure. Okay, maybe in the real world she WOULD take the cure, but following MOVIE LOGIC she should have accepted that she was an X-Man and showed up in the final battle to help/save the day. And only one scene with Wolverine that wasn't even good! And no cleavage shots! How dare they.
Beast: Kelsey Grammer was good but underused.
The final battle wasn't up to much either. I was expecting a lot of mutant on mutant action but instead Magneto's "mutant" army consisted of...a bunch of guys in hoodies going "RRRRRAARGH!" and running to certain death. AMAZING.
Oh, wow, winged guy saved his asshole dad from dying I CARE SO MUCH.
Also: no humour except the bit where the woman locked her car door after Magneto moved the bridge.
WORST MOVIE SINCE DODGEBALL
