CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
(The housemates are having a party.)
Freddie: Yea, like...mmmmm. Yeah. Mmmm. Yeah. Mmmm.
Bea: I'm totally on your wavelength and everything.
Freddie: Mmmm.
Bea: Exactly! That was so me! You have the soul of the sixties in your atoms!
Freddie: Mmmm.
Charlie: Wahey, man! Did you hear about Noirin and Siavash? THE WHOLE TIME! It's been going on THE WHOLE TIME! Remember rabbit night? They just made that up, like, to distract us, like, so they could have SEX in the bedroom and we wouldn't believe it! THE WHOLE TIME! They were kissing for THE WHOLE TIME and we never saw it!
Hira: ...
Charlie: THE WHOLE TIME, Hira!
Hira: ...
Charlie: I do still like them, though. And you. And everyone, like, me. I even like the chairs, you know what I mean? I don't have a bad word to say about anyone, me! I've never heard anyone say a bad word either! Everyone in here is perfect in every way, like! I'm a good lad.
Lisa: *smokes*
Marcus: Yeah Lisa, I agree, Noirin is a complete cow. I could see it from day one and stuff like that. You know. It doesn't even bother me, her and Siavash and stuff like that. You know. It's just like, stuff like that.
Lisa: *smokes*
Sophie: Yeah, tee hee, I think you fancy her, tee hee!
Marcus: No, right, that's where you're wrong, right. You know, this house like is like the Matrix right, and stuff like that. Nothing's real. And stuff like that. So if I act like I fancy Noirin in the house, if I act and talk completely like someone who fancies her and stuff like that, doesn't mean I fancy her. Because I don't fancy her. And stuff like that. And I'm99.999999999999999999999999999999% sure she doesn't fancy me and stuff like that. So no I'm not angry that her and Siavash are dickheads.
(Marcus punches his fist through the table.)
Sophie: You punched Hira!
(Noirin and Siavash are talking.)
Siavsh: You know...what I'm saying...yes?
Noirin: Yeah, like, I really like you as a friend.
Siavash: And something more...
Noirin: Err, well, err...umm...maybe...I think I'm still in love with my ex. And Tom. And Angel.
Sivash: Huh?
Noirin: Hey, look over there!
(She runs away.)
David: Oh my God, did you see that, Noirin? Marcus just shattered Hira into a thousand bits!
Hira: No, I'm here.
David: Oh. It really was the table then.
Lisa: *smokes*
Charlie: THE WHOLE TIME!
Rodrigo: Why you smash the table, Marcus?
Charlie: Oh here we go...
Rodrigo: Why you say that? Why you say here we go?
Freddie: Look, dude, just calm down...
Rodrigo: Don't call me dude!
Freddie: Lisa said that about seven weeks ago, dude!
Lisa: *smokes*
Rodrigo: You say it again! You say these things! Why! Why you say these things! These things with your mouth you say! You say them! RACIST!
Freddie: Mmmm.
Charlie: Och, let's pretend to be a couple for the camera.
Rodrigo: Why? So you can RAPE ME?
(Noirin is the Diary Room.)
Noirin: It's just, like, all getting too much for me, like...like when Jesus had to the carry the cross, you know? That's exactly what it's like in every way.
Big Brother: Look, personally me, I think you should show your breasts right now. Come on, I am being serious.
Noirn: SREE!?
Big Sree: HAHA! Look, personally me, I have killed Big Brother and taken his place to get closer to you! You get me what I am trying to say? Look, I am telling you on your face...
(Suddenly Marucs barges through the wall like the Incredible Hulk.)
Marcus: DID YOU JUST HEAR A DIRTY BASTARD'S VOICE? THAT YOU, SREE, YOU LITTLE SHIT?
Big Sree: No! It's, um, Tom.
Marcus: What? GRRRRR!
(Marcus crashes through the camera and Freestyle Big Brother ends FOREVER.)
Freddie: Yea, like...mmmmm. Yeah. Mmmm. Yeah. Mmmm.
Bea: I'm totally on your wavelength and everything.
Freddie: Mmmm.
Bea: Exactly! That was so me! You have the soul of the sixties in your atoms!
Freddie: Mmmm.
Charlie: Wahey, man! Did you hear about Noirin and Siavash? THE WHOLE TIME! It's been going on THE WHOLE TIME! Remember rabbit night? They just made that up, like, to distract us, like, so they could have SEX in the bedroom and we wouldn't believe it! THE WHOLE TIME! They were kissing for THE WHOLE TIME and we never saw it!
Hira: ...
Charlie: THE WHOLE TIME, Hira!
Hira: ...
Charlie: I do still like them, though. And you. And everyone, like, me. I even like the chairs, you know what I mean? I don't have a bad word to say about anyone, me! I've never heard anyone say a bad word either! Everyone in here is perfect in every way, like! I'm a good lad.
Lisa: *smokes*
Marcus: Yeah Lisa, I agree, Noirin is a complete cow. I could see it from day one and stuff like that. You know. It doesn't even bother me, her and Siavash and stuff like that. You know. It's just like, stuff like that.
Lisa: *smokes*
Sophie: Yeah, tee hee, I think you fancy her, tee hee!
Marcus: No, right, that's where you're wrong, right. You know, this house like is like the Matrix right, and stuff like that. Nothing's real. And stuff like that. So if I act like I fancy Noirin in the house, if I act and talk completely like someone who fancies her and stuff like that, doesn't mean I fancy her. Because I don't fancy her. And stuff like that. And I'm99.999999999999999999999999999999% sure she doesn't fancy me and stuff like that. So no I'm not angry that her and Siavash are dickheads.
(Marcus punches his fist through the table.)
Sophie: You punched Hira!
(Noirin and Siavash are talking.)
Siavsh: You know...what I'm saying...yes?
Noirin: Yeah, like, I really like you as a friend.
Siavash: And something more...
Noirin: Err, well, err...umm...maybe...I think I'm still in love with my ex. And Tom. And Angel.
Sivash: Huh?
Noirin: Hey, look over there!
(She runs away.)
David: Oh my God, did you see that, Noirin? Marcus just shattered Hira into a thousand bits!
Hira: No, I'm here.
David: Oh. It really was the table then.
Lisa: *smokes*
Charlie: THE WHOLE TIME!
Rodrigo: Why you smash the table, Marcus?
Charlie: Oh here we go...
Rodrigo: Why you say that? Why you say here we go?
Freddie: Look, dude, just calm down...
Rodrigo: Don't call me dude!
Freddie: Lisa said that about seven weeks ago, dude!
Lisa: *smokes*
Rodrigo: You say it again! You say these things! Why! Why you say these things! These things with your mouth you say! You say them! RACIST!
Freddie: Mmmm.
Charlie: Och, let's pretend to be a couple for the camera.
Rodrigo: Why? So you can RAPE ME?
(Noirin is the Diary Room.)
Noirin: It's just, like, all getting too much for me, like...like when Jesus had to the carry the cross, you know? That's exactly what it's like in every way.
Big Brother: Look, personally me, I think you should show your breasts right now. Come on, I am being serious.
Noirn: SREE!?
Big Sree: HAHA! Look, personally me, I have killed Big Brother and taken his place to get closer to you! You get me what I am trying to say? Look, I am telling you on your face...
(Suddenly Marucs barges through the wall like the Incredible Hulk.)
Marcus: DID YOU JUST HEAR A DIRTY BASTARD'S VOICE? THAT YOU, SREE, YOU LITTLE SHIT?
Big Sree: No! It's, um, Tom.
Marcus: What? GRRRRR!
(Marcus crashes through the camera and Freestyle Big Brother ends FOREVER.)