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Freestyle Big Brother

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Carole: Right, we have bread, but not a lot of bread, right, LISTEN TO ME, right, if you want bread you ask me for bread!

Jonty: Carole, could I, hehe, perhaps, trouble you for some bread?

Carole: NO, PISS OFF.

Tracey: Ave it!

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. For today's tasks, housemates must stand on one leg for 34 minutes for no apparent reason.

Sam: That sounds a bit lame...

(Amanda elbows her.)

Sam: I mean, I love it! Whoo whoo! Big Brother, you are so funny giving us this task! I love it! Whoo whoo! Is that enough?

Amanda: No.

Sam: WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO FUN PINK WHOO!

Brian(in stupid voice): Oh Big Brother you yoghurt tops you're mugging us off with this task, making us look like a bunch of mugs, I like cider!

Gerry: Well, you know...

Liam: Aye aye, here comes the smartass.

Brian: Yeah, shut up Gerry, you don't EVERYTHINK!

Liam: Aye, and you've got a small dick!

Brian: Hahahaha, yeah, you smalldicked dick, hahhaha, Hollyoaks!

Gerry: I was just going to say...

Brian: OH SHUT UPPPPPPP! YOGHURT TOP!

Liam: Hahaha, smalldick!

Brian: Hahahaha, I've totally wound him up, look how wound up he is, the mug!

Gerry: I'm not...

Brian: HAHAHAHA, YOGHURT MUG!

Ziggy: I just find him really patronising...you know...it's like...you know...and...you know...really annoying...you know...

Gerry: Ziggy, if we have a problem, we can talk about it...

Ziggy: It's not you, it's me.

Brian: HAHAHAHAHA, what a mug, wanting to talk, he probably talks in fucking proper dictionary shakespeare babe pig in the city language anyway!

Amanda: Bwian, you so funnee!

(Brian makes eye contact with Amanda so she covers her eyes with Sam's feet.)

Brian: I love you Manda!

Amanda: You so funneeeee!

Brian: I want to fuck you!

Amanda: Bwian, you so funneeee! Squeal!

(Liam walks into Kara Louise.)

Liam: Sorry, didn't see you there pet, because women are invisible to me unless they're fawning all over me you know, I'm just a canny lad like, I don't say nasty things then try to pass them off as a joke or anytying you daft bitch, only joking like!

Kara: *looks cute and giggles*

Wacky: I LOVE YOU!

Carole: OY, get the FUCK out of our house okay, we can't afford to feed another one! Oh, by the way Jonty, I just made Munkety Tunkety into a soup.

Jonty: Oh. Right. Well, I'd really have rathered that you didn't, I love that monkey...

Carole: PEOPLE NEED TO EAT, JONTY! OH, by the way, there's no bad muslims anywhere in the world, it's all the media, I'm so right-on, vote for me, I need the money!

Sam: Whooo!

Tracey: Ave it!

Gerry: So who wants to have a conversation...

Brian: OH SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR FUCKING BORING MOO-SEUMS AND STUFF CONVERSATIONS!!!

Ziggy: ...you know?
 
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