CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
(Lex and Lana are in that one room in his huge mansion that they're always in.)
Lana: I'm so excited about our wedding and about how you're always truthful with me and about how I hate Clark and about Natalie Portman's bare ass in that new movie...
Lex: I need to check that shit out!
Lana: Oh Lex, you're so funny and honest! You'd never lie to me!
Lex: No Lana, I never would lie to you. NEVER. Not once. All those times I've lied to you in previous episodes? They weren't really lies.
Lana: I know and I accepted your unconvincing explanations easily.
Lex: Hehe, yeah, you're so dumb.
Lana: Oh Lex!
(She starts rubbing her tits up against his bald head. A SHADY LOOKING BLACK GUY IN A SUIT enters.)
Shady Guy: Umm, Mister Luthor?
Lex: I'll be right with you. Your nips are so hard they're cutting in my skull!
Lana: Hehe! Hey, who is that guy?
Lex: Oh, he's just my...dentist.
Lana: Oh, right. I thought he might be a shady associate working to create an army of meteor freaks!
Lex: Hahaha! Anyway, you better go hang out at that coffee shop in case Clark comes in so you can have one of those starty-stoppy conversations where you don't really say anything but the background music makes it seem significant.
Lana: 'kay, see you later!
(Lana skips away.)
Lex: So how is my army of meteor freaks?
Shady Guy: Freaky!
(Lionel arrives.)
Lionel: Son I don't think you should create an army of meteor freaks.
Lex: Why not? You used to murder children then laugh about it!
Lionel: I know, but I've changed! I can't actually remember the reasons why I changed, but I know I have, son!
Lex: I thought you were helping me with this scheme?
Lionel: Oh, am I?
Lex: I don't know! Some weeks it seems like you are, some weeks it seems like you aren't! Are you sure you don't have amnesia again?
Lionel: I don't know!
Lex: Me neither! Shit, maybe I've got amnesia again!
Lionel: Well, just as long as you don't remember that Clark has super powers...
Lex: What!?
Lionel: SHIT, NOTHING!
(The Shady Guy turns into a giant frog.)
Shady Guy: HAHAHA, I'M ACTUALLY AN OLD ENEMY OF YOURS NEVER SEEN OR MENTIONED BEFORE EVER OUT FOR REVENGE AND I HAVE THE POWER OF TURNING INTO A GIANT FROG FOR SOME REASON!
Lex: Blast!
(Clark appears AS IF FROM NOWHERE.)
Clark: Hey, what are you doing with this GIANT FROG, Lex!? ANd are you on his side again, Lionel?
Lionel: I can't remember, son!
Clark: Son?
Lionel: Aren't I possessed by your Krypton father, as you are in fact an alien from an other planet with super powers?
Lex: What!?
Giant Frog: HELLO, Giant Frog here!
(Clark defeats him in a short, disappointing, unengaging fight scene.)
Lex: So what's this about...
Clark: We can't do that here! The last ten minutes must take place in my barn!
THE BE CONTINUED MAYBE
Lana: I'm so excited about our wedding and about how you're always truthful with me and about how I hate Clark and about Natalie Portman's bare ass in that new movie...
Lex: I need to check that shit out!
Lana: Oh Lex, you're so funny and honest! You'd never lie to me!
Lex: No Lana, I never would lie to you. NEVER. Not once. All those times I've lied to you in previous episodes? They weren't really lies.
Lana: I know and I accepted your unconvincing explanations easily.
Lex: Hehe, yeah, you're so dumb.
Lana: Oh Lex!
(She starts rubbing her tits up against his bald head. A SHADY LOOKING BLACK GUY IN A SUIT enters.)
Shady Guy: Umm, Mister Luthor?
Lex: I'll be right with you. Your nips are so hard they're cutting in my skull!
Lana: Hehe! Hey, who is that guy?
Lex: Oh, he's just my...dentist.
Lana: Oh, right. I thought he might be a shady associate working to create an army of meteor freaks!
Lex: Hahaha! Anyway, you better go hang out at that coffee shop in case Clark comes in so you can have one of those starty-stoppy conversations where you don't really say anything but the background music makes it seem significant.
Lana: 'kay, see you later!
(Lana skips away.)
Lex: So how is my army of meteor freaks?
Shady Guy: Freaky!
(Lionel arrives.)
Lionel: Son I don't think you should create an army of meteor freaks.
Lex: Why not? You used to murder children then laugh about it!
Lionel: I know, but I've changed! I can't actually remember the reasons why I changed, but I know I have, son!
Lex: I thought you were helping me with this scheme?
Lionel: Oh, am I?
Lex: I don't know! Some weeks it seems like you are, some weeks it seems like you aren't! Are you sure you don't have amnesia again?
Lionel: I don't know!
Lex: Me neither! Shit, maybe I've got amnesia again!
Lionel: Well, just as long as you don't remember that Clark has super powers...
Lex: What!?
Lionel: SHIT, NOTHING!
(The Shady Guy turns into a giant frog.)
Shady Guy: HAHAHA, I'M ACTUALLY AN OLD ENEMY OF YOURS NEVER SEEN OR MENTIONED BEFORE EVER OUT FOR REVENGE AND I HAVE THE POWER OF TURNING INTO A GIANT FROG FOR SOME REASON!
Lex: Blast!
(Clark appears AS IF FROM NOWHERE.)
Clark: Hey, what are you doing with this GIANT FROG, Lex!? ANd are you on his side again, Lionel?
Lionel: I can't remember, son!
Clark: Son?
Lionel: Aren't I possessed by your Krypton father, as you are in fact an alien from an other planet with super powers?
Lex: What!?
Giant Frog: HELLO, Giant Frog here!
(Clark defeats him in a short, disappointing, unengaging fight scene.)
Lex: So what's this about...
Clark: We can't do that here! The last ten minutes must take place in my barn!
THE BE CONTINUED MAYBE
