HA HA!! Dangly Parts

[Kyehlar]

Harvey Birdman: The man's good name. When all is said and done, isn't that all he has? My client, Dingaling...
[a pregnant pause]
Mentok: What?... Oh. Oh! you were expecting a joke there. Too easy! Now, if he'd been Peter Peckapickle von Peenie, née Peter Peenie Peckerpickle; Waldo Lang Schnitzeldong; or Sarah Plain-and-Tall - *any* of those - then we got something!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

HARVEY BIRDMAN ROCKS MY WORLD.

HA-ha, bi-curious.

 

[Kyehlar]

Apache Chief: Well, I saved the town the other day, and uh... I saved the town and, anyway, afterwards I thought, "Man, a coffee would be nice." But, uh, I spilled it on my... lap.
Harvey Birdman: Mmm-hmm.
[the tea kettle whistle begins to sound]
Apache Chief: And, uh, wow, it was... hot. On my lap.
Harvey Birdman: I'll bet...
Apache Chief: [with annoyed deliberation] Hotness... Crotch... Ouch!
Harvey Birdman: Yeah, I... Ohhhh! W - Are you trying to say...?
Apache Chief: I can no longer... enlarge.
[the tea kettle whistle plaintively decays into silence]
Harvey Birdman: [crossing his legs and wincing] Oh! Ohhh! *Ohhhhh!* Let's all go to the mountains, huh?
[Apache Chief watches apprehensively as Avenger walks by with the tea service]
Harvey Birdman: I'll take the case! Nothing, huh? Not even first thing in the morning; little neeneeneeneeneey?

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Favorite throwaway line to end a scene: When Fred Jones comes to Harvey to help get Scooby and Shaggy out of jail, and Harvey assumes they are a gang a la Latin Kings or Crips, and agrees to go with Fred down to the jail.

Harvey: (indicates to Fred's ascot) But first...lose the colors.

 

[Kyehlar]

Harvey Birdman: My client, a private investigator.
Mentok: Sometimes known as a...?
Harvey Birdman: Uhhh... a P.I.? Gumshoe?
Inch-High, Private Eye: He wants you to say "dick".
Mentok: Which would make you an...?
Inch-High, Private Eye: [sighs] Inch-high dick.

 

[Kyehlar]

Secret Squirrel: Never fear, madame, Secret Squirrel has just what you need right here!
[woman screams]
Secret Squirrel: Wait! I didn't even pull it out yet.

 

[Kyehlar]

Harvey Birdman: Your name was hijacked by a Web site as well?
Hi Riser: Yes. Yes, it was.
Harvey Birdman: Tell us the name of that site.
Hi Riser: Hi Riser dot com.
Harvey Birdman: And, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, there are more. Many more. I give you: Big Duke, Bigger Duke, Quickie, Schnooker, The Magic Rabbit, Fluidman...
Peanut: [aside] That would be, "Ew."
Harvey Birdman: ...Dirty Dog, Motherlode, and Goltar.
Gallery: [huh?]
Harvey Birdman: *And* his Golden Lance.
Gallery: [gasp!]