CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
(Everyone is dancing and stuff at the Mine Field Reunion Prom. The awards have just been given out, but Cassie urges Wacky over to the microphone.)
Wacky: We have one more award to give out. Is Menty Summers here tonight? Did he, um...
(Everyone looks around to see if Menty is there but no one can find him. Wacky goes on anyway.)
Wacky: This is actually a new category. First time ever. I guess there were a lot of write-in ballots, and, um, the MF committee asked me to read this. "We're not good friends. Most of us have never actually posted with you because you never post now, but that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that The Mine Field isn't really like other forums. A lot of weird stuff happens here."
Randon Mine Fielders shouting: Jack Dancers! The DLA! Henoch!
Wacky: "But, whenever there was a problem with the database or someone creepy posted, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you, or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that Troll Kingdom has the most active members of any existing TrekBBS spin-off board."
(Loud applause from the crowd. Wacky pauses.)
Wacky: Well maybe Wordforge has more but I'm sure as fuck not going to check. Anyway, I'll keep reading. "And we know at least part of that is because of you. So the Mine Field, offers its thanks, and gives you, uh, this."
(Jonathan produces a multicolored, glittering, miniature umbrella with a small metal plaque attached to the shaft. )
Wacky: It's from all of us, and it has written here, "Menty Summers, Mine Field Protector."
( The crowd breaks into sustained applause and cheering. Everyone looks around but can't find Menty. However when they look back on stage, the Mine Field Protector Award has disappeared from Wacky's hands. He gasps.)
Wacky: He really was here...he really was...
(He looks up to the sky as snow starts to fall because it's an open air prom I guess and I'm adding the ending of 'Amends' to 'The Prom' for some reason.)
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU GIGANTIC METAL OWL, HOPE YOU GET KIDNAPPED BY GARRETT WANG AND FORCED TO LISTEN TO HIM RECITE SHAKESPEARE FOR EIGHT HOURS BUT IT TURNS OUT HE'S ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD SO IT'S YOUR BEST BIRTHDAY EVER AND THEN YOU GO HOME AND YOUR HOUSE HAS TURNED INTO CHOCOLATE AND YOU SAY "WHAT A STROKE OF LUCK" AND THE YOUNG ONES THEME MUSIC PLAYS BUT THEN THE NEXT MORNING YOUR HOUSE HAS MELTED AND YOU SAY "A CHOCOLATE HOUSE IS IMPRACTICAL!" AND THE ROCK POPS UP BESIDE YOU IN BED AND SAYS "DON'T I KNOW IT, BRO!" AND HIS MUSIC PLAYS NOW AND YOU SAY "WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT MUSIC EVEN COMING FROM" AND NIKKI GRAHAME POPS OUT FROM UNDER YOUR BED AND SAYS "I'M SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD ALSO IT WAS ME" AND THAT SOLVES THAT MYSTERY AND THEN SOME ARSENAL PLAYS ARRIVE AND SAY "FANCY A KICK ABOUT, CHUM" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW FOOTBALL PLAYERS TALK FOR ALL I KNOW AND YOU SAY "SURE, LADS!" BUT THE FOOTBALL IS ACTUALLY MY HEAD AND YOU THINK "OH YEAH WACKY'S SOMEONE I USED TO TALK TO LOL" THEN SCORE SEVENTEEN GOALS WITH MY SEVERED HEAD AND SOME ELVES HAVE BUILT YOU A NEW HOUSE WHILE THIS IS GOING ON TO TIE UP THAT LOOSE END. I HOPE THAT HAPPENS FOR YOU.
Wacky: We have one more award to give out. Is Menty Summers here tonight? Did he, um...
(Everyone looks around to see if Menty is there but no one can find him. Wacky goes on anyway.)
Wacky: This is actually a new category. First time ever. I guess there were a lot of write-in ballots, and, um, the MF committee asked me to read this. "We're not good friends. Most of us have never actually posted with you because you never post now, but that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that The Mine Field isn't really like other forums. A lot of weird stuff happens here."
Randon Mine Fielders shouting: Jack Dancers! The DLA! Henoch!
Wacky: "But, whenever there was a problem with the database or someone creepy posted, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you, or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that Troll Kingdom has the most active members of any existing TrekBBS spin-off board."
(Loud applause from the crowd. Wacky pauses.)
Wacky: Well maybe Wordforge has more but I'm sure as fuck not going to check. Anyway, I'll keep reading. "And we know at least part of that is because of you. So the Mine Field, offers its thanks, and gives you, uh, this."
(Jonathan produces a multicolored, glittering, miniature umbrella with a small metal plaque attached to the shaft. )
Wacky: It's from all of us, and it has written here, "Menty Summers, Mine Field Protector."
( The crowd breaks into sustained applause and cheering. Everyone looks around but can't find Menty. However when they look back on stage, the Mine Field Protector Award has disappeared from Wacky's hands. He gasps.)
Wacky: He really was here...he really was...
(He looks up to the sky as snow starts to fall because it's an open air prom I guess and I'm adding the ending of 'Amends' to 'The Prom' for some reason.)
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU GIGANTIC METAL OWL, HOPE YOU GET KIDNAPPED BY GARRETT WANG AND FORCED TO LISTEN TO HIM RECITE SHAKESPEARE FOR EIGHT HOURS BUT IT TURNS OUT HE'S ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD SO IT'S YOUR BEST BIRTHDAY EVER AND THEN YOU GO HOME AND YOUR HOUSE HAS TURNED INTO CHOCOLATE AND YOU SAY "WHAT A STROKE OF LUCK" AND THE YOUNG ONES THEME MUSIC PLAYS BUT THEN THE NEXT MORNING YOUR HOUSE HAS MELTED AND YOU SAY "A CHOCOLATE HOUSE IS IMPRACTICAL!" AND THE ROCK POPS UP BESIDE YOU IN BED AND SAYS "DON'T I KNOW IT, BRO!" AND HIS MUSIC PLAYS NOW AND YOU SAY "WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT MUSIC EVEN COMING FROM" AND NIKKI GRAHAME POPS OUT FROM UNDER YOUR BED AND SAYS "I'M SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD ALSO IT WAS ME" AND THAT SOLVES THAT MYSTERY AND THEN SOME ARSENAL PLAYS ARRIVE AND SAY "FANCY A KICK ABOUT, CHUM" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW FOOTBALL PLAYERS TALK FOR ALL I KNOW AND YOU SAY "SURE, LADS!" BUT THE FOOTBALL IS ACTUALLY MY HEAD AND YOU THINK "OH YEAH WACKY'S SOMEONE I USED TO TALK TO LOL" THEN SCORE SEVENTEEN GOALS WITH MY SEVERED HEAD AND SOME ELVES HAVE BUILT YOU A NEW HOUSE WHILE THIS IS GOING ON TO TIE UP THAT LOOSE END. I HOPE THAT HAPPENS FOR YOU.
