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Have you ever seduced a chick...

H

Henoch

!!
...by telling her yer gonna get her a heroin fix?

And after you fucked her, told her to get the fuck out cause she's a doped up whore!??

And then laughed when she threatened to kill you?

Just askin'.
 
I once seduced myself. Took myself out to dinner and a movie. Things were going great -- in the middle of the picture, I couldn't help but notice that my hand was resting on my thigh. And when it got to the scary part, I jumped into my arms and trembled like a frightened kitten, which gave me the opportunity to cuddle with myself.

Later, I took myself out dancing and I got even closer to myself, if ya know what I mean. Well, I was having a great time when I walked myself over to the bar and started buying myself drinks. Needless to say, things went without a hitch, and before I knew it, I'd taken me back to my place. I think you know how the story goes from there. ;)
 
Henoch said:
...by telling her yer gonna get her a heroin fix?

And after you fucked her, told her to get the fuck out cause she's a doped up whore!??

And then laughed when she threatened to kill you?

Just askin'.
Click to expand...

Bah. Saintpwnsalot needn't resort to such pathetic attempts at seduction. Females need only spot Saintpwnsalot's DeLorian cruising down the street, pimped out with O'RLY Owl rims and neon purple lights. They cannot take their eyes off me. I fear that I shall soon have to ride with a can of mace to fend them off. You realize this, yes?
 
The Question said:
I once seduced myself. Took myself out to dinner and a movie. Things were going great -- in the middle of the picture, I couldn't help but notice that my hand was resting on my thigh. And when it got to the scary part, I jumped into my arms and trembled like a frightened kitten, which gave me the opportunity to cuddle with myself.

Later, I took myself out dancing and I got even closer to myself, if ya know what I mean. Well, I was having a great time when I walked myself over to the bar and started buying myself drinks. Needless to say, things went without a hitch, and before I knew it, I'd taken me back to my place. I think you know how the story goes from there. ;)
Click to expand...

i approve of this story.:)
 
The Question said:
I once seduced myself. Took myself out to dinner and a movie. Things were going great -- in the middle of the picture, I couldn't help but notice that my hand was resting on my thigh. And when it got to the scary part, I jumped into my arms and trembled like a frightened kitten, which gave me the opportunity to cuddle with myself.

Later, I took myself out dancing and I got even closer to myself, if ya know what I mean. Well, I was having a great time when I walked myself over to the bar and started buying myself drinks. Needless to say, things went without a hitch, and before I knew it, I'd taken me back to my place. I think you know how the story goes from there. ;)
Click to expand...

Absolutely no surprise your idea of a night out on the town is to spend time with yourself. You are quite simply a dweeb with no life, one who has never been laid by none other than himself. You could not possibly suggest anyone would believe otherwise?
 
SaintLucifer said:
Absolutely no surprise my idea of a night out on the town is to spend time with dear old mother. You are quite simply unable to imagine the unbearable loneliness of a boy such as myself who dates women both closely related to him and whose bodies no longer have life, one who has never been laid by none other than corpses lubed up with turkey gravy and rigged with car batteries for the purpose of stimulating motor response in order to simulate reaction. You could not possibly suggest anyone would believe otherwise?
Click to expand...

:fear:
 
SaintPwnsalot said:
Bah. Saintpwnsalot needn't resort to such pathetic attempts at seduction. Females need only spot Saintpwnsalot's DeLorian cruising down the street, pimped out with O'RLY Owl rims and neon purple lights. They cannot take their eyes off me. I fear that I shall soon have to ride with a can of mace to fend them off. You realize this, yes?
Click to expand...

Tell me KEFKA Jr., what exactly is a 'DeLorian'? Is that the car which was a Bricklin rip-off? Seems Americans like to steal Canadian ideas. By the way dipshit, it's DeLorean.

Bricklin
The Bricklin is a gull-wing sports car that was manufactured primarily from Detroit parts in 1974 through early 1976 in New Brunswick, Canada for exclusive sale in the United States. There were 2854 cars built before Bricklin went bankrupt. An estimated 1500 still exist today. «Bricklin International (BI)» reports 350 active members with cars on the road and in restoration.

The single model built was given the designation SV-1, for Safety Vehicle 1. It had a built in roll cage, side guard rails and shock absorbing, 5-mph bumpers that receded into the car. It was not only safe in an accident, but had the power and handling to avoid one. The Bricklin far exceeded safety requirements of the time.

Like the DeLorean which came after it, the Bricklin was a futuristic vehicle which was well liked by owners and the automotive press, but was never produced in large enough numbers to be profitable.
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103-0334_IMG.JPG


DeLorean

Back_left.JPG


Proof Americans are fucking copycats. The fucking DeLorean looks a hell of a lot like our Bricklin. Bitches. Come up with your own shit for once.
 
Sarek said:
With asshats like Luci to the north, why do we allow Canada to keep living?
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Because they have at least twice exported something amusing. I believe the first was maple syrup, and the second was Mike Myers. But don't worry -- they're on a deadline for the next worthwhile export.
 
Henoch said:
...by telling her yer gonna get her a heroin fix?

And after you fucked her, told her to get the fuck out cause she's a doped up whore!??

And then laughed when she threatened to kill you?

Just askin'.
Click to expand...

This has never happened to me. Only my friends.
 
The Question said:
Because they have at least twice exported something amusing. I believe the first was maple syrup, and the second was Mike Myers. But don't worry -- they're on a deadline for the next worthwhile export.
Click to expand...

What is by far your largest single import from one nation? Oh yes, that would be our Canadian oil. Stop that flow of oil south of our border and watch us bring the USA to its knees. It has been proven your country would stop cold if we were to end all shipments of our oil. What? Then we would have no one to purchase our oil? You must be kidding me. We have China who is chomping at the bit to purchase our oil. Canada is also owner of the world's largest supply of freshwater? To the tune of 86% of the world's supply you say? Cut that off and you had better start investing in desalination plants. Oopsy but there is one problem, those consume shitloads of energy i.e. OIL! No can do so I guess you had better come crawling to Canada, begging us for more. Why even you may decide it is time to suck my cock dry. I just may decide to give you a couple of bottles.

Next time you wish to say something, think about what you are saying first. Canada is entirely self-sufficient. The USA is not. Big difference my dear lover of little boys.

Video of the wealthiest piece of real estate on earth!
 
SaintLucifer said:
Next time you wish to say something, think about what you are saying first. Canada is entirely self-sufficient. The USA is not.
Click to expand...


Canada also uses British military hardware (snicker) and Canadian military personnel (guffaw) and the USA does not.
 
The Question said:
I once seduced myself. Took myself out to dinner and a movie. Things were going great -- in the middle of the picture, I couldn't help but notice that my hand was resting on my thigh. And when it got to the scary part, I jumped into my arms and trembled like a frightened kitten, which gave me the opportunity to cuddle with myself.

Later, I took myself out dancing and I got even closer to myself, if ya know what I mean. Well, I was having a great time when I walked myself over to the bar and started buying myself drinks. Needless to say, things went without a hitch, and before I knew it, I'd taken me back to my place. I think you know how the story goes from there. ;)
Click to expand...

Reminds me of that old song, "I'm a Nut"

I'm a little acorn crown
Lying on tthe cocoa ground
Everybody steps on me
That is why I'm cracked you see

I'm a nut (click click)
I'm a nut (click click)
I'm a nut (click) nut (click) nut(click click)

Called myself on the telephone
Just to see if I was home
Asked myself for a date
Gotta get ready by half past eight

I'm a nut (click click)
I'm a nut (click click)
I'm a nut (click) nut (click) nut(click click)

Took myself to the movie grand
Just to hold my little hand
Put my arm around my waist
And when I squeezed I slapped my face!

I'm a nut (click click)
I'm a nut (click click)
I'm a nut (click) nut (click) nut(click click)
 
I like to seduce chicks with money, jewelry, and above all, flattery.

Here's how it goes. We go on a date. "You're beautiful" is repeated often. We talk, have a good time, she orders a ten dollar drink and I say "make that two." She knows Drac's a big spender.

After a few more of those, she orders the most expensive entree. That's fine, she probably knows what I'm after now. Good girl. She wants to skip dessert, again fine.

We go out to a few clubs, I drop a lot more coin. Now she's mine. She's buzzing and grinding on my leg like a cat in heat.

From there, we head back to my place and it's on. I don't hold back because she's paid for. She's mine. So when I show her to the bathroom and tell her there's douche and an enema there, she's cool with it. Then we shower, then it's on. I've already dropped over a hundred on the bitch, she doesn't mind my tongue up her ass or when I want hers up mine.

Then come the second and third dates, when I drop the jewelry and clothing. And then things really get freaky. Hot wax, bloodletting, biting, scratching, whipping, mild electric shocks. You know the drill.
 
Please fuckers. no need ta trick a bitch. i just take the bitch to whattaburger or some shit, we have a forty, and then we fuck and she goes home while i eat some leftover fried chicken.
 
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