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Her nose is actually perfect

Michelle could never be in a CGI film because any computer that tries to calculate her nose will crash and explode as it is inpossible to render literal perfection.
 
You remember the Omega Particle from Voyager? The one The Borg loved because of how it's literally perfect? Michelle's nose is made of Omega particles.
 
Okay, look, here's the deal: Remember Leeloo in "The FIfth Element"? Remember how she was supposed to be the "perfect being". Well Michelle Trachtenberg is literally Leeloo.
 
There should be a novel about someone who travels back in time, shows Hitler a picture of Michelle Trachtenberg's nose and Hitler goes mad knowing how wrong he was and when the time traveller returns to the present the world is a eutopia because Michelle Trachtenberg rules the world as a kind leader and everyone feels pretty great about it.
 
If there was a version of Mount Rushmore that instead of having presidents it had the top most attractive people, Michelle's nose would be a pilgramage spot where the sick are healed and blind people can see.


Natalie's ears would heal kittens.
 
There is a theory which states that if Michelle Trachtenberg's nose were ever to somehow touch Natalie Portman's ears, the Universe will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
 
When the world is overtaken by robots, a lone human warrior will be the first to say "No" to his robot masters. He will then rally the human race in an uprising using what he believes to the the ultimate symbol of human pride: Michelle Trachtenberg's nose.
 
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