How do tell the difference between death and life

[CaptainWacky]

Eat a packet of crisps.

 

[Cassie]

Stab yourself in the eye with a crisp, if it hurts you're alive.

 

[Loktar]

Stab yourself in the eye with a crisp, if it hurts you're alive.

Couldn't you just taste the crisp to see if you're alive? Far less painful.

 

[Dr Dave]

But less entertaining.

 

[Loktar]

But less entertaining.

True, besides as long as its not my eye getting stabbed its funny.

 

[Mentalist]

 

[A_Real_Prick666]

Those experiencing near-death have reported the urge to walk towards the light. None have reported the urge to walk towards the crisps.

 

[Cassie]

ARE YOU ALIVE?

 

[Loktar]

ARE YOU ALIVE?

Yes, but I'm not sure my penis is. I have to rub it several times a day just to be sure.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

There are no liquor stores after death.

 

[CaptainWacky]

RAPE A GIRL AND IF YOU GET ARRESTED YOU'RE STILL ALIVE

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

IF YOU SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST EITHER YOU"RE DEAD OR A BUM IS SETTING YOU ON FIRE FOR YOUR WALLET LOL

 

[headvoid]

Watch Star Trek V, afterwards if you do not have the urge to kill something you are probably dead

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Watch Six Feet Under and see who you root for.

 

[Cranky Bastard]

How do I tell the difference?

I ask Yahoo Answers because Yahoo knows everything and I trust everything Yahoo says.