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I feel the need to post a fake news article

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Umm...

A MAN with a NOSE was today ARRESTED for BLOWING it in PUBLIC.

"I couldn't believe it!" said Katie Holmes, talking about something completely unrelated.

Shilpa Shetty was unavailable for comment because she's a bloody foreigner and we wouldn't be able to understand what she was saying anyway.
 
Why wasn't he executed!??
 
This is revolting. I hope he used a tissue to contain his fluids, that's all I can say!
 
Yeah but it RIPPED.
 
OH NOES, ZOMBIE CURRY BOOGER BURGER CHILDREN WILL OVERTAKE THE WORLD
 
FUDDLEMIFF 3000 POST SHOCKER
 
Drinks for everyone!!!!!!!
 
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