Laker_Girl
Mrs. Big Dick McGee
My niece's teacher is very ill and right now her family tells us she needs to keep laughing so I need some good clean jokes to E-mail to her.
Get to it people!!
Get to it people!!
Troll Kingdom
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I need a good clean joke STAT!
- Thread starter Laker_Girl
- Start date
Archibald Nixon
anti-life coach
How do you shoot a blue elephant?
I dunno. How?
With a blue elephant gun.
How do you shoot a pink elephant?
With a pink elephant gun!
No, dummy: You hold his nose until he turns blue,
then you shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
(9-year-old nieces & nephews think this is the height of wit. I'll even admit it still tickles me after all these years. I can't speak for your niece's teacher though; for all I know she may be some anti-poaching activist.)
I dunno. How?
With a blue elephant gun.
How do you shoot a pink elephant?
With a pink elephant gun!
No, dummy: You hold his nose until he turns blue,
then you shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
(9-year-old nieces & nephews think this is the height of wit. I'll even admit it still tickles me after all these years. I can't speak for your niece's teacher though; for all I know she may be some anti-poaching activist.)
Dr Dave
pillzlol
'Twas the Night After Christmas
'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.
Christmas Present
The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives. My wife couldn't argue and neither could I, so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.
When out in the yard the dog started barkin', I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin. He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."
I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus, and you ain't taking me in without probable cause." Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night." I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like."
The Sheriff replied, "Well he's a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly, that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly. He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry." I said, "Sheriff that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."
"It's no time for jokes Roy" the Sheriff he said. "The man I'm describing in dressed all in red. I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean. Tell me what you've done, tell me what you've seen."
Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell, it wouldn't have been the first time that I've spent New Years in jail. I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten, and I thought that my wife had been drinking again."
When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost. I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO's. But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head, and stopped on the roof of our good neighbour Red.
Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder, a freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter. Well my hands were a shakin' as I grabbed my gun, when outta Red's chimney this feller did run.
And slung on his back was this bag over flowin'. I thought he stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowling'. So I yelled, "Drop fat boy, hands in the air!" But he went about his business like he hadn't a care.
So I popped a warning shot over his head. Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled. And as he flew off I heard him extort, "That's assault with intent Roy, I'll see ya in court."
The above document was written by Jeff Foxworthy.
'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.
Christmas Present
The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives. My wife couldn't argue and neither could I, so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.
When out in the yard the dog started barkin', I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin. He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."
I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus, and you ain't taking me in without probable cause." Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night." I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like."
The Sheriff replied, "Well he's a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly, that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly. He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry." I said, "Sheriff that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."
"It's no time for jokes Roy" the Sheriff he said. "The man I'm describing in dressed all in red. I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean. Tell me what you've done, tell me what you've seen."
Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell, it wouldn't have been the first time that I've spent New Years in jail. I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten, and I thought that my wife had been drinking again."
When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost. I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO's. But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head, and stopped on the roof of our good neighbour Red.
Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder, a freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter. Well my hands were a shakin' as I grabbed my gun, when outta Red's chimney this feller did run.
And slung on his back was this bag over flowin'. I thought he stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowling'. So I yelled, "Drop fat boy, hands in the air!" But he went about his business like he hadn't a care.
So I popped a warning shot over his head. Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled. And as he flew off I heard him extort, "That's assault with intent Roy, I'll see ya in court."
The above document was written by Jeff Foxworthy.
Archibald Nixon
anti-life coach
Conchaga
Let's fuck some shit up
Laura's blonde, dude. You're facing a terrible wrath.
Q: Why do blondes wear woolen panties in the winter time?
A: To keep their ankles warm.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has used the fax machine.
A: There's postage stamps on it.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has used the computer.
A: There's whiteout on the screen.
Q: What goes VROOOM! SCREECH! VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM! SCREECH!?
A: A blonde at a blinking red light.
Q: A blonde lawyer and a brunette lawyer both jump off a building at the same time. Who hits first?
A: Who cares? They're lawyers.
Q: What do you call four blondes standing ear-to-ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: Why do blondes have ponytails?
A: To hide the blow-up valves.
Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
A: She opens the car door.
OK, that's enough for now.
Q: Why do blondes wear woolen panties in the winter time?
A: To keep their ankles warm.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has used the fax machine.
A: There's postage stamps on it.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has used the computer.
A: There's whiteout on the screen.
Q: What goes VROOOM! SCREECH! VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM! SCREECH!?
A: A blonde at a blinking red light.
Q: A blonde lawyer and a brunette lawyer both jump off a building at the same time. Who hits first?
A: Who cares? They're lawyers.
Q: What do you call four blondes standing ear-to-ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: Why do blondes have ponytails?
A: To hide the blow-up valves.
Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
A: She opens the car door.
OK, that's enough for now.
Dr Dave
pillzlol
A Marine was coming home from the Pentagon one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was wrong. The cop said, "Man we are in a crisis situation. Mr. Clinton is in the road very upset. He does not have the $33.5 million that he owes his lawyers, and his family hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start a fire." The marine asked the cop exactly what he was doing there." The cop said, " I feel sorry for the president so I am going car to car asking for donations." The marine asked, "How much do you have so far?" The cop replied, "Well as of right now only 33 gallons, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!"
VKD
Banned
can't go wrong with the Aristocrats...
A man dressed as a priest walks into a talent agent's office with his wife, his six year old daughter, his eight year old son, their German Shepherd Spike, and their pet gerbil Moses. The man says to the talent agent, "We're a family act, and we'd like you to represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too old-fashioned."
The man says, "But this is really special and if you let us perform it for you I am sure you will change your mind."
The agent says, "Okay, show me the act?"
The man rips off his pants to reveal a pair of pink crotch less panties. He runs over to his daughter and shoves his cock in his daughter’s mouth and she starts sucking him off while playing with his balls with one hand and fingering his ass with the other. Meanwhile at the same moment the son strips naked and tears his mothers clothes off and starts fucking her from behind while she eats her daughter’s ass. The mother then starts shitting all over her son while he fucks her from behind. The son catches the shit and starts to smear it all over his face and his mother’s ass. Then the father cums in his daughters mouth and spins her around and she starts French kissing her mother and spitting the cum back and forth between each other while the father starts fucking his daughter from behind. The son then jumps on his moms back and starts riding her like a horse while he shits all over her. The father then starts to shit into his hand and smear it all over his daughters back and head as he pulls out of his daughter’s pussy and puts it in her ass. Just then the son jumps down off of his mother and lies down on the floor. The father runs over to the son and pushes his knees up to his chest and starts sucking his balls and licking his ass while fingering his own ass. The daughter then lies down on the floor on her back and pulls her knees up to her chest and her mother gets on all fours over top of her and pulls a tube out of a bag and shoves it in her daughter’s ass. Then the mother takes their pet gerbil Moses and puts it through the tube and into her daughter’s ass. The daughter writhes on the floor moaning in pleasure while their pet German Shepherd licks her pussy. The mother then takes the shit from the floor and covers her body with it and squats over her sons face and starts shitting in his mouth. With his mouth full of shit he stands up with his father and they run over to the daughter and start jerking off over her cumming all over her face and body. The daughter then shits out the gerbil throws it against the wall popping it like a tomato and then starts rubbing shit and cum all over her body while the son and father piss in the mothers mouth. Then the mother, the son and the daughter lie on the floor and start rolling around in all the shit, piss and cum while singing the star spangled banner, while the dad fucks the German Shepherd in the ass and eats the dead gerbil off the floor. At the end of the song they all jump up and yell TAAAA DAAAA!!!!
The father then looks at the agent and says, "Well, that's the act. What do you think?"
The agent looking uncomfortable, says "Well damn that is a hell of an act what do you call yourselves?"
To which they all four reply "The Aristocrats!"
A man dressed as a priest walks into a talent agent's office with his wife, his six year old daughter, his eight year old son, their German Shepherd Spike, and their pet gerbil Moses. The man says to the talent agent, "We're a family act, and we'd like you to represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too old-fashioned."
The man says, "But this is really special and if you let us perform it for you I am sure you will change your mind."
The agent says, "Okay, show me the act?"
The man rips off his pants to reveal a pair of pink crotch less panties. He runs over to his daughter and shoves his cock in his daughter’s mouth and she starts sucking him off while playing with his balls with one hand and fingering his ass with the other. Meanwhile at the same moment the son strips naked and tears his mothers clothes off and starts fucking her from behind while she eats her daughter’s ass. The mother then starts shitting all over her son while he fucks her from behind. The son catches the shit and starts to smear it all over his face and his mother’s ass. Then the father cums in his daughters mouth and spins her around and she starts French kissing her mother and spitting the cum back and forth between each other while the father starts fucking his daughter from behind. The son then jumps on his moms back and starts riding her like a horse while he shits all over her. The father then starts to shit into his hand and smear it all over his daughters back and head as he pulls out of his daughter’s pussy and puts it in her ass. Just then the son jumps down off of his mother and lies down on the floor. The father runs over to the son and pushes his knees up to his chest and starts sucking his balls and licking his ass while fingering his own ass. The daughter then lies down on the floor on her back and pulls her knees up to her chest and her mother gets on all fours over top of her and pulls a tube out of a bag and shoves it in her daughter’s ass. Then the mother takes their pet gerbil Moses and puts it through the tube and into her daughter’s ass. The daughter writhes on the floor moaning in pleasure while their pet German Shepherd licks her pussy. The mother then takes the shit from the floor and covers her body with it and squats over her sons face and starts shitting in his mouth. With his mouth full of shit he stands up with his father and they run over to the daughter and start jerking off over her cumming all over her face and body. The daughter then shits out the gerbil throws it against the wall popping it like a tomato and then starts rubbing shit and cum all over her body while the son and father piss in the mothers mouth. Then the mother, the son and the daughter lie on the floor and start rolling around in all the shit, piss and cum while singing the star spangled banner, while the dad fucks the German Shepherd in the ass and eats the dead gerbil off the floor. At the end of the song they all jump up and yell TAAAA DAAAA!!!!
The father then looks at the agent and says, "Well, that's the act. What do you think?"
The agent looking uncomfortable, says "Well damn that is a hell of an act what do you call yourselves?"
To which they all four reply "The Aristocrats!"
Enkephalen
My Stars!
When Heaven Got Too Crowded
It got really crowded in heaven, so they decided only to accept people who’d had a real bad day on the day they died. On the first morning when they employed this policy, St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates, and he said to the first man in line, “Tell me about the day you died.”
The man said, “Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early from work one day to catch her in the act. I searched all over the apartment, and couldn’t find him anywhere. So finally I went out on the balcony (we live on the 25th floor) and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips.
So I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, of course, but he landed in some bushes and lived. So I went inside and pushed the refrigerator out onto the balcony and over the railing, it crushed him. But the strain and excitement of the act gave me a heart attack and I died.”
St. Peter couldn’t deny that this was pretty bad, so he let the man into heaven. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. “Well, Sir. It was just awful. I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment, when I slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment beneath me, but then some maniac came out and started pounding on my hands! I fell and landed in some big bushes, I’m sure I had some broken bones but I was alive. But then the guy came out and dropped a refrigerator on me!”
St. Peter chuckles a bit, lets him into heaven, and decides that he could really start to enjoy this job. “Tell me about the day you died,” he said to the third man. “Okay, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator..”
It got really crowded in heaven, so they decided only to accept people who’d had a real bad day on the day they died. On the first morning when they employed this policy, St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates, and he said to the first man in line, “Tell me about the day you died.”
The man said, “Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early from work one day to catch her in the act. I searched all over the apartment, and couldn’t find him anywhere. So finally I went out on the balcony (we live on the 25th floor) and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips.
So I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, of course, but he landed in some bushes and lived. So I went inside and pushed the refrigerator out onto the balcony and over the railing, it crushed him. But the strain and excitement of the act gave me a heart attack and I died.”
St. Peter couldn’t deny that this was pretty bad, so he let the man into heaven. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. “Well, Sir. It was just awful. I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment, when I slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment beneath me, but then some maniac came out and started pounding on my hands! I fell and landed in some big bushes, I’m sure I had some broken bones but I was alive. But then the guy came out and dropped a refrigerator on me!”
St. Peter chuckles a bit, lets him into heaven, and decides that he could really start to enjoy this job. “Tell me about the day you died,” he said to the third man. “Okay, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator..”
Enkephalen
My Stars!
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
...And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMEN'S REVENGE
Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse." So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right
here...
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's soooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she. (I figure this is one of the guys on the milk carton)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to give-in and break the silence to one another. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." The husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
...And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMEN'S REVENGE
Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse." So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right
here...
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's soooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she. (I figure this is one of the guys on the milk carton)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to give-in and break the silence to one another. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." The husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"
Enkephalen
My Stars!
After Quasimodo’s death, the Bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The Bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day.
Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer’s job. The Bishop was incredulous. “You have no arms!” he exclaimed. “No matter,” said the man. “Observe!” And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The Bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo. But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned Bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the Bishop through, one of them asked: “Bishop, who was this man?” “I don’t know his name,” the Bishop sadly replied, “but his face sure rings a bell.”
WAIT! There’s more. . .
The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the Bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, “Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch who fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty.” The Bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man’s brother stopped to pick up the mallet to strike the first bell, he moaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot! The monks, hearing the Bishop’s cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. “What has happened? Who is this Man?” the first monk asked breathlessly. “I don’t know his name,” signed the distraught Bishop, “but. . .he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”
Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer’s job. The Bishop was incredulous. “You have no arms!” he exclaimed. “No matter,” said the man. “Observe!” And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The Bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo. But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned Bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the Bishop through, one of them asked: “Bishop, who was this man?” “I don’t know his name,” the Bishop sadly replied, “but his face sure rings a bell.”
WAIT! There’s more. . .
The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the Bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, “Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch who fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty.” The Bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man’s brother stopped to pick up the mallet to strike the first bell, he moaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot! The monks, hearing the Bishop’s cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. “What has happened? Who is this Man?” the first monk asked breathlessly. “I don’t know his name,” signed the distraught Bishop, “but. . .he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”
Conchaga
Let's fuck some shit up
Q: What do you do if your wife comes out of the kitchen to bitch at you?
A: Make the chain shorter.
Q: What's the difference between a woman and a microwave?
A: A microwave doesn't scream when you put meat into it.
Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing. She's already been told two times.
Q: Why don't you need to buy your wife a wristwatch?
A: There's a clock on the stove.
A: Make the chain shorter.
Q: What's the difference between a woman and a microwave?
A: A microwave doesn't scream when you put meat into it.
Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing. She's already been told two times.
Q: Why don't you need to buy your wife a wristwatch?
A: There's a clock on the stove.
Love Child
One Love
Is it too late?
Big Dick McGee
If you don't know, now ya know
Conchaga said:
She's not blonde. And she doesn't appreciate you throwing her name around.