Troll Kingdom

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

I read the Harry Potter books

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
FOR YEARS I resisted reading them because they were "for kids" and EVEN THOUGH adults read them too I assumed they were saddos who never read anything except Potter and The Da Vinci Code so that they could talk about them at their "water coolers" or whatever the FUCK you people do...THE BASTARDS STAB TSBA bk

lost my train of thought

lost my HOGWARTS EXPRESS OF THOUGHT!

Yeah anyway they're actually quite good. The best kind of kids books are the ones that don't talk down to the children and these don't REALLY too much and they get a bit more adult as they go along. I'm sure I caught an innuendo about Harry waking up with a hard-on and wanking over Ginny in book 6 but that might have just been my dirty mind. Obviously they're not like Hannibal Lecter shit by the end but still better than fucking you know that book about kittens or some shit

lost train of thought again

it's good that they're not like Narnia and just bible stories with a lion in place of Moses

ANYWy

book one: it's an okay introduction to the main characters, setting and general theme,

book two: the plots a bit better but it's more of the same

book three: this is where it improves as things go all moop moop

book four: NOOOOOOOOO CEDRIC YOU WERE SO YOUNG

book five: the umbridge stuff could have been tied into the finale better but I did like the implication that she was gang-raped by centaurs

book six: It's all set-up for book seven, really! Obviously there must be a big twist to the ending because SURELY Dumbledore couldn't have been pwned so easily by the fake horcrux and then Snape turning heel? The obvious answer is that Dumbledore is right about Snape and they're still on the same side and maye that potion Dumbledore drank will resurrected him in book seven. Themitically, Harry obviously has to go up against Voldermort ALONE in book 7 and that's why Dumbledore is out but I excpect he'll be back to help out a bit at some point and Snape and Draco will turn face ont he Death Eaters and TONKS WILL TURN EVIL YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRSt. Book 7 will ahve to be the LONGEST BOOK SINCE THE BIBLE as I want EVERYONE to have a proper ending yes including Winky.

So yeah they're good books and Neroon is gay.
 
Dumbledore will appear in a long brown cloak and as a voice in harry's head at a crucial moment. He will be sort of see through and nodding a lot.
 
Dumbledore: Use love, Harry!

Ron: Harry you've taken off your invisibility cloak, what's the matter?

Harry: Nothing...everything's fine.

Hagrid: You're all clear kid now let's blow this wizard and go home!

(Harry attempts to use "love" to kill Voldermort.)

Voldermort: Err, that sucked.

(Voldermort stabs Harry in the ear.)

Harry: OUCH MY EAR!

BOOK ENDS ABRUPTLY
 
I have. But you know I have already. I'm just waiting for the last book like eveyone else now.
 
I read them! They were pretty good, but I'm not really all that excited about the next one. Kinda tired of Hogwarts and all that every-flavored bean stuff.
 
Well at the end of book 6 he says he isn't even going to go to Hogwarts in book 7 so it could have a drastically different structure.
 
OH GOD THIS MEANS HARRY WILL ONLY BE SEEN ON THE PHONE CALLING HOGWARTS AND THEY'LL INTRODUCE THE NEW FIRST YEAR CLASS INCLUDING HARRY'S COUSIN OLIVER
 
CaptainWacky said:
DUMBLEDORE DIES IN MOVIES SIX (since you don't read)
:P I own at least 3 of the books, I just haven't gotten round to it yet.

I'm reading Frank McCourt's Teacher Man at the moment, I have a stack of books waiting after that.

LIKE HORTON HEARS A RAPE AND FAPS ANDY DICK
 
Eggs Mayonnaise said:
:P I own at least 3 of the books, I just haven't gotten round to it yet.

I'm reading Frank McCourt's Teacher Man at the moment, I have a stack of books waiting after that.

LIKE HORTON HEARS A RAPE AND FAPS ANDY DICK

Yeah I watched the first 3 HP movies and plan to read the next 3 books before I watch the next 3 movies.
 
The guy playing Malvoy's father was better-looking in the film than he was in my imagination, btw.
 
Back
Top