Troll Kingdom

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I wish a had a pet rancor.

Yub

Anachrophobic
I would raise it from infancy, give it a cool name and train it to catch and fetch using kittens as treats. Then I would cut a neat little trim path in all of life's bullshit, especially once it had matured. I'd probably train it to wear a saddle so as I could ride it around and such, save on petrol. People would hate on my rancor, but the hating would soon end once a few haters became lunch. The police would have bow before the awesome might of my rancor and it'd probably be a good way to meet hot chicks, but I'd get my rancor to eat them because my wife would all I needed, being the only woman alive who could cow a rancor with her fearsome verbal attacks. If a politician stepped out of line, he'd soon be rancor shit. I would travel extensively with my rancor doing good like turning most of the world's scumbags into rancor chow. The army would like my rancor because of this but it wouldn't matter because I'm pretty sure anything short of a point blank hit with a tank shell wouldn't disturb him. And I'd get armour made for him anyway.
And those twilight assholes would be tasty little emo tit bits for Dr Rancor PhD. Not to mention the Jonas Brothers and any asshole to remakes a movie THAT DOESN'T NEED REMAKING and Dr MY ASS Phil and let's just say President Rancor's first 100 days in office are going to be busy.

I guess I'll have to make do with a tyrannosaur/silverback gorllia hybrid mutant. COME ON SCIENCE! CHOP CHOP!
 
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