Gagh
Χριστόφορος
I think I might just be in the mood to fuck it up on purpose, by casting useless peripheral heroes & villains seen in Spidey books down the years. How about this lot.
The Answer
This twat was a Kingpin flunky. His 'special power' is, well, to answer shit. They fucked with it later by saying he had the SPECIAL POWER to develop any ability.
I love what the Marvel Universe says about his costume "...specially designed so as to be virtually frictionless". I'll bet that's a bummer when he needs a quick pee.
He could hang around and bug the shit out of Spidey. Every time he asks himself a rhetorical question mentally, he could pop up and answer it.
Crime-Master
An utterly inept 'Villain'. The head of a crime gang. In a mask. With a gun. That's your lot. e should get at least 50 minutes screen time. He'd be no less interesting than your average Lois & Clark villain, say.
Frog-Man.
A thief. In a frog suit. With springs on his feet. From the same company that came up with Venom, it must have really been a fucking slow day at Marvel HQ in 1982 when they came up with this retarded idea.
Plantman
Run Spidey, he's about to set the Hydrangeas on us! He can 'mentally command all plant life'. Pretty useful. You could send a shrub down to the newsagents for a pack of ciggies, I guess. Plus he can accessorise well. Check out the belt buckle.
Typeface
It must have been an even slower day when they thought this guy up. A signsmith. He was fired. He made some letters. With weapons inside. It was never funny. I mean, where else can you go with this? A Hispanic at a tampon factory is laid off. He comes back to haunt his former employers dressed as a giant tampon with tricked out throwing tampons. He's the El Tamponador. Can we write him in?
There you go Raimi. Let's see what you can do with this bunch of lame fucks.
The Answer
This twat was a Kingpin flunky. His 'special power' is, well, to answer shit. They fucked with it later by saying he had the SPECIAL POWER to develop any ability.
I love what the Marvel Universe says about his costume "...specially designed so as to be virtually frictionless". I'll bet that's a bummer when he needs a quick pee.
He could hang around and bug the shit out of Spidey. Every time he asks himself a rhetorical question mentally, he could pop up and answer it.
Crime-Master
An utterly inept 'Villain'. The head of a crime gang. In a mask. With a gun. That's your lot. e should get at least 50 minutes screen time. He'd be no less interesting than your average Lois & Clark villain, say.
Frog-Man.
A thief. In a frog suit. With springs on his feet. From the same company that came up with Venom, it must have really been a fucking slow day at Marvel HQ in 1982 when they came up with this retarded idea.
Plantman
Run Spidey, he's about to set the Hydrangeas on us! He can 'mentally command all plant life'. Pretty useful. You could send a shrub down to the newsagents for a pack of ciggies, I guess. Plus he can accessorise well. Check out the belt buckle.
Typeface
It must have been an even slower day when they thought this guy up. A signsmith. He was fired. He made some letters. With weapons inside. It was never funny. I mean, where else can you go with this? A Hispanic at a tampon factory is laid off. He comes back to haunt his former employers dressed as a giant tampon with tricked out throwing tampons. He's the El Tamponador. Can we write him in?
There you go Raimi. Let's see what you can do with this bunch of lame fucks.
