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I'm Going to Tell a Racist Joke

eloisel

Forever Empress E
Two out of work black men went to the local unemployment office to sign up for benefits. After they filled out and submitted their paperwork, an employment agent handed one of the men a piece of paper which he said contained coding about a job.

This is what was written on the paper:

B I M M
H Y B A R
T P C T

The two men puzzled over these sets of letters to discern their meaning.

After several hours, one of the young men declared he had solved the mystery.

He said the sets of letters were an abbreviation and that their meaning was the job was with the Bimm company, selling top quality bar supplies for top pay and commission too. Sounded very promising.

The other man, the one who had actually received the paper from the unemployment office employee, did not agree. He said that the code meant:



Be in Memphis Monday.
Have your black ass ready
to pick cotton Tuesday.
 
Okay. I enjoyed that. I'm going to tell another racist joke.

This one is about Liza Jane and Thelma Sue. They had known each other most of their lives, gone to school together and all that. Then, when they had grown up, Liza Jane went her way and Thelma Sue went hers. A few years later they met on a street corner downtown and took a few minutes to catch up.

Liza Jane asked Thelma Sue how she had been and what she had been up to.

Thelma Sue said she had married the most popular boy in school right after graduation.

Liza Jane said, "Fantastic."

Thelma Sue said her husband was very successful and he had bought her a closet full of furs.

Liza Jane said, "Fantastic."

Thelma Sue said her husband had bought her a very nice car too - a Rolls Royce.

Liza Jane said, "Fantastic."

Thelma Sue went on to talk about her incredibly bright and successful children, to which Liza Jane repeated her one word remark, "Fantastic," after each grand claim.

Finally, Thelma Sue finished her laundry list of personal and family achievements and asked Liza Jane what she had been up to since they had last seen each other.

"I've been to charm school," she replied.

"Oh, and what did you learn in charm school," Thelma Sue asked.

"How to say 'Fantastic' when what I really mean is 'Bullshit."
 
Okay - one more for now and then I'll go back to my no arms and no legs jokes.

Things hadn't been going so well for the Vikings.
Their captain came out on the deck of the ship
to talk to the men.
He said:
"Men, we're about to go ashore and raid villages.
I want you to kill all the men
and rape all the women.
And, this time .....

get it right.
 
I will but my arthritis meds just kicked in and I have to take a nap. Now that I've been bad, I'll probably have nightmares. With any luck I'll wake up screaming, "Oh, KHC, scare me again!!!!"
 
Hellman and his wife Linda are walking down the street.

How can you tell which one is Linda?
 
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