Jade "too ill" to receive Chuckle brothers

[headvoid]

Publicist Max Clifford today confirmed that Jade would be too ill to receive the Chuckle Brothers who desperately wanted to say goodbye. "We had a big foam hand to wave and everything" said Barry who was choked with emotion as he read from a pre prepared statement.

Paul Chuckle (55) was also clearly distraught as he explained they had wanted to take some grapes, but on the way they had stopped to admire a painter working, then a bank robber ran by them and stole the grapes spilling some paint. He stepped in the paint and then created a "one foot" trail through an industrial estate full of people acting shocked by opening their mouths and holding up their hands.

Max Clifford at that point interrupted and said that he was only looking after Jades money *ahem* best interests in this matter. he did however state that tomorrow Jade will be too ill to receive Gareth Gates who has a single coming out on Friday. Simon Cowell has no plans to visit.

...

 

[The Tomtrek]

Oh dear.

 

[The Tomtrek]

Oh dear oh dear.

 

[The Tomtrek]

Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

 

[The Tomtrek]

Oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear.

 

[Big Dick McGee]

Is she dead yet?

 

[WillsZenith]

hahahaha imagine them holding jades coffin ...."To me, to you"

 

[whisky]

They'll probably bury her with a webcam so you can see her decompose on live feed.

 

[WillsZenith]

no they can watch this shite on tv...

 

[CaptainWacky]

How come she's get hair there? OMG SHE'S FAKIGN.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

It's all an elaborate FARCE and the Chuckles are behind it!!!

 

[Big Dick McGee]

So, is she still alive, er whut?

 

[CaptainWacky]

Yes.

 

[whisky]

I still dont see how a hate mongering vile racist suddenly because a saint overnight just because they are dying young.

I'm not saying I'm glad shes got cancer, or glad shes going to die, but shes hardly the new lady di.

 

[Big Dick McGee]

Wow, sad but she'll outlive Natasha Richardson.

 

[Mentalist]

The actual answer is because she has given the media an all access pass to her own personal tragedy and they have been raking in huge amounts of money from her illness on what would otherwise be "boring" news about the economy. Especially for the tabloids.

She's a media darling now and we all know the media decides the moral value of everyone.

 

[CaptainWacky]

You can tell they're starting to get angry that she isn't dead yet, as they obviously have no new stories to publish (just been variations of "Jade sits up and smiles" for the last few days) and want to get their 16 PAGE LIFE OF JADE PULL-OUTS published.

 

[WillsZenith]

loving the tribute edition of ok! or whatever lol, bet they thought she would be dead, shilpa sheppey is keeping her alive with voodoo

 

[CaptainWacky]

How do people actually have the guts to buy OK in public?

 

[Fuddlemiff]

They don't have brains, guts are the least of their troubles.


Everyone's forgotten Danielle Lloyd was a racialist on BB now she's an ambassador for women who get beaten by their blokes. Racist Jo's creative, she should be able to come up with a new spin on this. Okay, so she doesn't want to get cancer and she probably doesn't have a boyfriend on hand to beat her up, but what about an horrific car accident, or suicide attempt to bring people around?