Jesus Hugh...

[Volpone]

...I mean, I gotta hand it to you. You had the balls to follow your dream and put out a magazine of nekkid wimmens in a time when that wasn't cool. And you got a good life out of it. Shit. I can't begin to imagine what the Seventies--the Hef heyday--were like. But Jesus, man. There comes a time when you have to face reality.

Hugh Hefner's Newest Girlfriend: I'm a Good Girl
Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Hugh Hefner has a new Playmate – and this one’s a "good girl."

Crystal Harris describes herself on her MySpace page "a good girl, for the most part.”

And the busty blonde revealed on E! Online’s message board that she has moved into the Playboy mansion, along with 19-year-old twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon.

“Hef gave me permission to fill people in on the new updates as a voice from the mansion,” she wrote.

And, although there are no other girlfriends living there at the moment, she revealed “there are a couple that we have interest in. As for now, it is just us three.”

The 22-year-old psychology student has been snapped with the Playboy founder on several occasions but has not been officially introduced until now.

Instead, the limelight has fallen on the twins who moved in after former girlfriends Holly Madison, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson left in October.

So what do you think happened to..."Holly...Bridget...and Kendra"? Did they turn 25?

Oh, and again, you gotta click the link. Because there's a picture of Hef with his "girlfriends" (it's the third one) and I swear to God it is from "A Weekend at Bernie's III".

 

[Colonel Kira's Left Tit]

I'm pretty sure Hef's been dead for 20 years and is now either a Fembot or an animatronic puppet designed to boost Playboy sales. And let's face it, Playboy isn't what it used to be.

 

[Volpone]

Well no shit. When a 12 year old can Google up pictures of a tattooed, pierced, 15 year old Chinese contortionist, getting buggered by a Great Dane, for free how the Hell can you expect them to shell out six bucks for airbrushed beauty queen pinups that don't even show gash!?*







*That's assuming a 12 year old could buy "Playboy". In reality he'd have to shoplift it.

 

[Colonel Kira's Left Tit]

*That's assuming a 12 year old could buy "Playboy". In reality he'd have to shoplift it.

Or perhaps get a copy from his hot young teacher? It seems to be all the rage.

At any rate, in my day I shoplifted a Playboy once or twice. It still wasn't worth the trouble even back then!