CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"I'll leave you boys to it!" said Johnny's mum and left.
"No, he's gonig to punch me!" said Johnny, backing away.
"Relax, Nose, I'm not going to punch you," said Fists, unclenching his fists in a gesutre of good will.
"You punched me every day for 18 months!" said Johnny.
"True," agreed Fists. "But I'm a changed man now, brah."
"Brah?"
"I got with Jesus, brah. He saved me."
"Really? That works?"
"Nah! I'd probably have punched Jesus on the cross. But I am a changed man. It was wrong of me, to punch you all those years. I'm sorry."
"You are?"
"Yeah. I was only doing it because I was a repressed homosexual."
"Yeah, we all kid of figured that. Given that you also sucked me off eight times."
"Hey, you let me!"
"I was Johnny Nose, of course I let you."
"Was? So you're not Johnny Nose anymore?"
"I'm a changed man too...brah. Got a girlfirend now. She's real and everything."
"That's great, brah! Real! I have a boyfriend now. He's black."
"Cool..."
"BLACK AND BLUE, FROM ALL THE PUNCHING!"
"Really?"
"Nah, just kidding, I'd never hurt him. And if anyone else did, I'd kill them. With a gun."
"Oh."
"So tell me about your girl."
"Well, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, brah."
"You never hit girls, right?"
"Nah, just guys. Girls didn't get me hard. No need to punch their tits."
"Right. But would you hit a girl?"
"What? Why?"
"If she like...we hassling your boyfriend."
"I don't know. It's still a girl. Seems wrong."
"What if she came at you with a knife?"
"Like that wheelchair bitch in group home?"
"Claire! You remember her!"
"Yeah, brah. But her name was Zoe."
"Zoe? That's a stupid name. Just three letters? Lame. No wonder I didn't remember it."
"Yeah, brah. Anyway, she didn't actually come at us with a knife, just cut her self."
"She cut her paralysed legs! What a coward."
"Hey brah, she did cut her arms that one time."
"Oh yeah. And she flicked the blood at me."
"And you were alreayd bleeding..."
"Because you'd been punching me..."
"Right! And you thought her blood went in your open wound and gave you HIV! Good times."
"Not really, I had to have a test."
"AHAHAHAHA, good times. Well, I have to go fuck my boyfriend. Bye."
"Umm, bye."
Fists walked straight out without looking back, then took out his phone. "Hello, Zoe?" he said. "Our plan is working perfectly."
On the other end, Wheelchair Zoe sits outside Lisa's apartment, smiling. "Good. Goooood."
"No, he's gonig to punch me!" said Johnny, backing away.
"Relax, Nose, I'm not going to punch you," said Fists, unclenching his fists in a gesutre of good will.
"You punched me every day for 18 months!" said Johnny.
"True," agreed Fists. "But I'm a changed man now, brah."
"Brah?"
"I got with Jesus, brah. He saved me."
"Really? That works?"
"Nah! I'd probably have punched Jesus on the cross. But I am a changed man. It was wrong of me, to punch you all those years. I'm sorry."
"You are?"
"Yeah. I was only doing it because I was a repressed homosexual."
"Yeah, we all kid of figured that. Given that you also sucked me off eight times."
"Hey, you let me!"
"I was Johnny Nose, of course I let you."
"Was? So you're not Johnny Nose anymore?"
"I'm a changed man too...brah. Got a girlfirend now. She's real and everything."
"That's great, brah! Real! I have a boyfriend now. He's black."
"Cool..."
"BLACK AND BLUE, FROM ALL THE PUNCHING!"
"Really?"
"Nah, just kidding, I'd never hurt him. And if anyone else did, I'd kill them. With a gun."
"Oh."
"So tell me about your girl."
"Well, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, brah."
"You never hit girls, right?"
"Nah, just guys. Girls didn't get me hard. No need to punch their tits."
"Right. But would you hit a girl?"
"What? Why?"
"If she like...we hassling your boyfriend."
"I don't know. It's still a girl. Seems wrong."
"What if she came at you with a knife?"
"Like that wheelchair bitch in group home?"
"Claire! You remember her!"
"Yeah, brah. But her name was Zoe."
"Zoe? That's a stupid name. Just three letters? Lame. No wonder I didn't remember it."
"Yeah, brah. Anyway, she didn't actually come at us with a knife, just cut her self."
"She cut her paralysed legs! What a coward."
"Hey brah, she did cut her arms that one time."
"Oh yeah. And she flicked the blood at me."
"And you were alreayd bleeding..."
"Because you'd been punching me..."
"Right! And you thought her blood went in your open wound and gave you HIV! Good times."
"Not really, I had to have a test."
"AHAHAHAHA, good times. Well, I have to go fuck my boyfriend. Bye."
"Umm, bye."
Fists walked straight out without looking back, then took out his phone. "Hello, Zoe?" he said. "Our plan is working perfectly."
On the other end, Wheelchair Zoe sits outside Lisa's apartment, smiling. "Good. Goooood."
