CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"BEN ELTON SUCKS," said his computer.
"Yes, I agree," said Johnny. "But that's off topic."
"SORRY," he typed.
"I'm scared of Fists," said Johnny.
"NOW YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S OFF TOPIC LOL."
"You've got me there."
"THE TOPIC IS THAT MAD WOMAN LISA."
"She's not mad. Not at all. She's amazing."
"SHE CAN'T BE BETTER THAN YOU."
"She can and is."
"IMPOSSIBLE. YOU IMP. YOU ARE IMP POSSIBLE. GET IT. IT'S A PUN. ANYWAY, IMP POSSIBLE! YOU ARE JOHNNY NOSE. YOU ARE PERFECTION."
"Oh grow up..."
"YOU KNOW IT. DEEP DOWN, SHE'S NOT LIKE YOU. YOU'RE JUST PROJECTING. SHE'LL LET YOU DOWN. SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND YOU. SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND US. NOBODY CAN. BECAUSE IT WOULD BE LIKE MAN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND GOD."
"Shut up!"
"MAKE ME."
"I'll just stop typing!"
"GO ON THEN."
"I will!"
"APPARENTLY NOT."
"You're wrong. I'm not projecting anymore. I'm seeing things how they really are."
"WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU SAW FISTS JUMPING OUT OF THE WARDROBE?"
"A momentary blip."
"NO. PROOF. YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED. YOU'RE MORE THE SAME THAN EVER. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE JOHNNY NOSE."
"I love her for who she is, not for who I think she is..."
"YOU STALKED HER FOR MONTHS."
"Yes, but now I know the real her!"
"BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW THE REAL YOU."
"She doesn't care about what I've done...she doesn't..."
"SHE CARES. AND ZOE AND FISTS WILL MAKE HER CARE."
"What do you mean by that?"
"YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN, JOHNNY NOSE."
"They can't hurt me...I have Lisa..."
"NOT FOR LONG."
"I've kept myself together around her for so long now...six weeks I think..."
"NOTHING. TRY YEARS. YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT. YOU'LL SLIP. YOU'LL HONK HER BREASTS IN A SUPERMARKET. YOU'LL PAINT HER CAT PINK AND SAY YOU DID IT 'FOR ALL THE GAYS, BABY!' YOU'LL CHEAT ON HER WITH A LEMON. YOU'LL HURT HER. YOU MIGHT EVEN HIT HER."
"I'D NEVER HIT HER! NEVER! YOU FUCKING GOAT BASTARD..."
"NOW YOU SOUND LIKE ME."
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!"
Johnny put his let hand down on the desk, picked up the keyboard with his right, and slammed it down on his fingers.
"Ouch," he said.
"I CASN TEKKLLL YIOU YOU'TRE UMPRRESSIN NO ONNE WEITH TJAT TOYOE OF BEHAVIOURH TIYNG MBAN," his other self managed to type.
"I'll prove it...prove I'm normal now...prove I can have a normal life with her...
"HOW3/?"
"I'm going to ask her to marry me. And she's going to say yes."
"Yes, I agree," said Johnny. "But that's off topic."
"SORRY," he typed.
"I'm scared of Fists," said Johnny.
"NOW YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S OFF TOPIC LOL."
"You've got me there."
"THE TOPIC IS THAT MAD WOMAN LISA."
"She's not mad. Not at all. She's amazing."
"SHE CAN'T BE BETTER THAN YOU."
"She can and is."
"IMPOSSIBLE. YOU IMP. YOU ARE IMP POSSIBLE. GET IT. IT'S A PUN. ANYWAY, IMP POSSIBLE! YOU ARE JOHNNY NOSE. YOU ARE PERFECTION."
"Oh grow up..."
"YOU KNOW IT. DEEP DOWN, SHE'S NOT LIKE YOU. YOU'RE JUST PROJECTING. SHE'LL LET YOU DOWN. SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND YOU. SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND US. NOBODY CAN. BECAUSE IT WOULD BE LIKE MAN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND GOD."
"Shut up!"
"MAKE ME."
"I'll just stop typing!"
"GO ON THEN."
"I will!"
"APPARENTLY NOT."
"You're wrong. I'm not projecting anymore. I'm seeing things how they really are."
"WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU SAW FISTS JUMPING OUT OF THE WARDROBE?"
"A momentary blip."
"NO. PROOF. YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED. YOU'RE MORE THE SAME THAN EVER. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE JOHNNY NOSE."
"I love her for who she is, not for who I think she is..."
"YOU STALKED HER FOR MONTHS."
"Yes, but now I know the real her!"
"BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW THE REAL YOU."
"She doesn't care about what I've done...she doesn't..."
"SHE CARES. AND ZOE AND FISTS WILL MAKE HER CARE."
"What do you mean by that?"
"YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN, JOHNNY NOSE."
"They can't hurt me...I have Lisa..."
"NOT FOR LONG."
"I've kept myself together around her for so long now...six weeks I think..."
"NOTHING. TRY YEARS. YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT. YOU'LL SLIP. YOU'LL HONK HER BREASTS IN A SUPERMARKET. YOU'LL PAINT HER CAT PINK AND SAY YOU DID IT 'FOR ALL THE GAYS, BABY!' YOU'LL CHEAT ON HER WITH A LEMON. YOU'LL HURT HER. YOU MIGHT EVEN HIT HER."
"I'D NEVER HIT HER! NEVER! YOU FUCKING GOAT BASTARD..."
"NOW YOU SOUND LIKE ME."
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!"
Johnny put his let hand down on the desk, picked up the keyboard with his right, and slammed it down on his fingers.
"Ouch," he said.
"I CASN TEKKLLL YIOU YOU'TRE UMPRRESSIN NO ONNE WEITH TJAT TOYOE OF BEHAVIOURH TIYNG MBAN," his other self managed to type.
"I'll prove it...prove I'm normal now...prove I can have a normal life with her...
"HOW3/?"
"I'm going to ask her to marry me. And she's going to say yes."
