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Just got called for jury duty

Dirk Funk

Dirk Funk

Evil Penguin
Well, I just came home after a particularly bad week, and guess what I find in my mailbox to top it off with? That's right boys and girls. A jury summons. What a waste of time this will be. It's not like they will let someone with my views anywhere near a jury box. The leftists who run this state aren't going to let a Libertarian on their jury, so it's an exercise in futility. Oh well, I'm 33 and this is the first time I've ever been called, so I guess I was due.
 
I got called once...

ONCE!!!


...and was turned away the moment they saw me!

If you dont want to go, here's the trick..


Go in dressed like a bum..I mean a total skid row bum. Do not (and I emphasize strongly) DO NOT take a bath that day!

Speak VERY LOUDLY, and spit out words faster than a machine gun can spit out bullets

One look at you, and they will automatically assume that you are both a loon and a worthless waste of time, and will let you off the hook without even giving it a second thought! :eek:


A close friend of mines tipped me off on this. He tried it and it worked like magic for him.

I tried it, and it worked for me as well.

GO FIGURE :huh:
 
Which court are you to show up for? You might find being on a jury interesting if the case is interesting. It is a civic duty and if you do it once, you won't have to do it again for awhile - automatic get off jury duty free card.
 
d00d, fake your way in...tell them whatever they want to hear and blather on about civic duty and impartiality in a fair trial democracy etc, then get in there and troll the fuck out of the jury during deliberations.

Best. Troll. Ever.
 
jack said:
d00d, fake your way in...tell them whatever they want to hear and blather on about civic duty and impartiality in a fair trial democracy etc, then get in there and troll the fuck out of the jury during deliberations.

Best. Troll. Ever.
Click to expand...

Extremely tempting......
 
The possibilities are endless on that one. A great opportunity, especially if the defendant's karma is coming into play for any reason.
 
jack said:
d00d, fake your way in...tell them whatever they want to hear and blather on about civic duty and impartiality in a fair trial democracy etc, then get in there and troll the fuck out of the jury during deliberations.

Best. Troll. Ever.
Click to expand...

That was what I was trying to do when they dumped me out. I kinda wanted to go...
 
I got called once in New Jersey in the 90s, and then once 3 years ago in NY. I sat around doing nothing for two days in Jersey, but in NY I came close to being on a jury for a trial where a male mental patient was charged with rape for accepting a sexual advance from a female patient. The judge and DA basically told all of us that we have to accept the law on the books that whether or not a criminal mental patient initiates the sex, if it happens, it's battery and we have to convict. A lot of us kept questioning the law, which was the surefire way to get dismissed.
 
Eggs Mayonnaise said:
I got called once in New Jersey in the 90s, and then once 3 years ago in NY. I sat around doing nothing for two days in Jersey, but in NY I came close to being on a jury for a trial where a male mental patient was charged with rape for accepting a sexual advance from a female patient. The judge and DA basically told all of us that we have to accept the law on the books that whether or not a criminal mental patient initiates the sex, if it happens, it's battery and we have to convict. A lot of us kept questioning the law, which was the surefire way to get dismissed.
Click to expand...

It's called Jury Nullification. It's a legal principle upheld by the Supreme Court that most prosecutors and judges loathe. They usually try to make you think it doesn't apply or bully you into not applying it.
 
Could you see me on a jury? Defense gets up to present a point of order, here I come outta the jury box with :" Actually, that's not correct. In fact, history tells us there is a precedent..."

I'd be the first juror ever dragged from the court for contempt, after correcting the judge in how he should address the bailiff...
 
Donovan said:
Could you see me on a jury? Defense gets up to present a point of order, here I come outta the jury box with :" Actually, that's not correct. In fact, history tells us there is a precedent..."

I'd be the first juror ever dragged from the court for contempt, after correcting the judge in how he should address the bailiff...
Click to expand...

I'd pay to see video of that. :rofl:
 
Got called up the day after my 18th birthday, heard the same case three times, each time with us getting dismissed when a member of the jury recognised someone, eventually they decided we had all been contaminated and brought in some new people.

So I never got to send anyone down.
 
Dirk Funk said:
Well, I just came home after a particularly bad week, and guess what I find in my mailbox to top it off with? That's right boys and girls. A jury summons. What a waste of time this will be. It's not like they will let someone with my views anywhere near a jury box. The leftists who run this state aren't going to let a Libertarian on their jury, so it's an exercise in futility. Oh well, I'm 33 and this is the first time I've ever been called, so I guess I was due.
Click to expand...

Just say you hate jews, niggers, spicks and faggots and they will let you go home. It dont have to be true it just gets you off jury duty.
 
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