Let's all write crap Angel comics.

[Gagh]

Angel - By IDW!

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Angel: The Cheeseshop Adventures. (aka Season 12)

It is 3pm on a balmy Los Angeles day. The world is recovering from the fucking Wolfram & Hart invasion that caused a load of shitty demons to run amock for 30-odd unintelligable issues or something. The reset button has been hit countless times since. Angel, now living in a Cheeseshop, is idly passing the time away...

Angel is sat in the shadows looking BROODY!

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Angel: (sighing) Another day selling exotic cheeses to EVIL DEMONS.

Fred (for it is she!): Hello Angel, I came back from the dead again!

Angel: Didn't this shit happen already 4 issues ago?

Fred: No, that was Ilyria - the writers couldn't figure out which one between us whose tits the fanboys would rather be seen drawn & inked by fourth rate artists - they chose me this time, even though they are the same tits!

Angel: Makes sense. Say, now you're alive, does that mean Wesley and Vampire Gunn are normal again?

Fred: Well, I'm not sure, but give it another 4 issues and some time-demon-thing will have made it happen for OMG~Ratings!

Angel: I preferred it when I was a puppet.

(TO BE CONTINUED BY SOMEBODY MORE TALENTED AT THIS THAN ME)

 

[CaptainWacky]

(Angel opens his fridge. A DWARF DEMON IS INSIDE.)

Dwarf Demon: I HAVE A DIRE WARNING FOR THEE...

Angel: Damn it, I just wanted some cheese.

Dwarf Demon: THE VAMPIRE WITH THE SOUL WILL DESTROY THE WORLD, UNLESS...

Angel: Wait, do you mean me, Spiker, Harmony who won her soul on a gameshow, or Billy The Vampire who got his soul in some crappy mini series only four people read?

Dwarf Demon: THE VAMPIRE WITH THE SOUL WILL DESTROY THE WORLD, UNLESS HE REWRITES THE PROPHECY IN THE BOOK OF AGONY.

Angel: Can't I just NOT destroy the world?

Dwarf Demon: NO! IT IS WRITTEN AND SO IT MUST BE!

Angel: Fine, tell me where the book is and I'll rewrite it.

Dwarf Demon: MUCH TOO HASTY, SOULED ONE. YOU MUST USE A SPECIAL INK. AN INK FROM THE BLOOD OF THE ONLY WOMAN YOU EVER LOVED.

Angel: Well since IDW don't own the rights to Buffy, that must be Cordelia!

Dwarf Demon: OR IS IT. OR IS IT!?!?!

Angel: I don't know, is it?

Dwarf Demon: ...I have to go.

(He disappears in a PUFF OF SMOKE.)

Angel: Fuck, he's wrecked the cheese!

Fred: Angel, Angel, come quick!

Angel: But then I'll lose my soul lol.

Fred: It's on the news! She's back! She's come back to life!

Angel: You don't mean...

(He runs to the tv where we see CORDELIA standing in CENTRAL PARK with A MILLION PEOPLE bowing to her.)

Cordelia: I'm back! And I'm, like, totally a Goddess now!

Angel: Oh boy!

TO BE CONTINUED