CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Stardack hated his stupid name. He hated a lot of things, to tell you the truth. The state of his life, for one thing. The fact that it wasn't gong to improve on its own, even more so. He was lying face down on his bed, his face buried in his pillow. He'd been in this position for about two hours. Four years, on and off, since he'd left school. He wondered if could suffocate himself in his pillow. He'd thought of it before. But he didn't want to die, not really. He just wanted to sleep.
Stardack has always been different. Living over a busy spaceport was something that would have excited all his friends. Stardack hated it. He hated the noise. He hated the smell. He hated the people. He wanted to be alone. He'd always been alone. His real life hadn't started yet, he used to tell himself. Something would happened someday that would make everything okay. For a while he even thought he was an alien, perhaps a member of the long-lived Zyyx race, but he'd given up on that one eventually. No, something would just happen, that's what it was. That's what he was waiting for. Something that would make him WANT to interact with other people, something that would allow him to sit in the spaceport having a drink, chatting friendily to aliens. What that something was, he didn't know. But it would come in time. After all, there was nothing he could do to make it happen himself, he was sure of that. His friends were always coming up with money-making schemes and plans to get off the planet. Some had succeeded. Some had ended up in prison. And some were still here. None of them, though, slept as much as Stardack. If he could just sleep a while longer, something would happen...it had to...
He heard a buzzing. Someone was at his door. He knew instantly that it would be Gringo, the only friend who still came to see him, though Stardack didn't know why. He looked at the the monitor and sure enough Gringo was there, smiling into the camera. If it had been anyone else Stardack would have pretended not to be home, but he still felt a certain loyalty to Gringo. He unlocked the door and Gringo strolled in, looking as happy as ever. He made straight for Stardack's model of the Antuar IV class spaceship and started spinning it around. Stardack hadn't even so much as looked at the model in the three years since he'd finished constructing it.
"All right, mate!" said the always enthusiastic Gringo. "This a new one? You still making models?"
"No," said Stardack, who remembered telling Gringo several times before that he wasn't making models anymore. "And no."
"That's a shame, Star, you're good at it!" said Gringo, putting the model down facing the wrong way on its stand. "Anyway, you'll never guess what old Bogdale's going to do!"
"What?" said Stardack, wondering why Gringo thought he'd care what old Bogdale was going to do. Bogdale was an aged Heffdog trader, constantly in trouble with the law, who Gringo admired for some strange reason.
"He's smuggling a bunch of Aeroplights back to their home world!" beamed Gringo, as though this was the most exciting thing ever. Stardack knew this couldn't be true, the Aeroplight home world was a ten year journey away, twenty in the bucket of bolts freighter Bogdale used. He waited for an explanation from Gringo, but none came.
"How is that even possible?" he sighed.
"He bought some stasis units, man! Disguised them as Zigzog containers! He'll put them in stasis then put himself in too! He said he'll have the ship on autopilot all the way, he's crazy, man!"
"That's madness!" said Stardack, angry at the ridiculousness of the whole situation, even more angry at Gringo for seeming to think it was so great. "It's a twenty year journer, something's bound to go wrong! That ship he flies will never be able to make it for one thing, and the Aeroplight rangers are always checking for refugess..."
"Plus the Millford Army are after him!" laughed Gringo. "Don't ask me why, the crazy old fool won't tell me."
"And you think all this is a good thing?" asked Stardack, barely hiding his disgust.
"It's what Bogdale does!" said Gringo. "I know you always play it safe but..."
"Play it safe?" snapped Stardack. "I just don't want to die on some insane mission!"
"Bogdale'll be alright, I'll see him again..." said Gringo.
"WHEN?" shouted Stardack, not even trying to disguise his anger. "Twenty years there and back, you'll probably be dead by the time he gets back, if he does, WHICH HE WON'T!"
"Meh, I'll probably run into him somewhere," said Gringo, uncorned. "And if I don't, well, that's life. You've got to live it, man."
"Yeah, great," said Stardack, turning his back on Gringo. "Well if that's all you've got to say I've got stuff to do so..."
"You don't want to come down and see Bogdale off?" said Gringo, disappointed. "He's leaving in an hour."
"I don't even know him!" said Stardack, completely unable to understand why Gringo or Bogdale would even want him there. "Just go...you don't want to miss him."
"I'll drop in on your again soon," said Gringo, not smiling anymore. "See you, mate."
"Whatever," said Stardack, letting him out. He intended to flop back on his bed right away, but he stopped to correct the position of the Antuar model first, then made his dramatic flop. He pulled the pillow up to his face. Then he let it go and started beating it with frustration. He wouldn't be able to get to sleep now, he was too angry. And even if he could, he'd only wake up again. What was the point? What was the point in ANYTHING? Things were never going to come right. He'd been a fool. He'd had moments of terror before when he'd realised his deeply ingrained belief in "things working themselves out" had been crap. He didn't even feel that terror anymore. He just wanted to sleep. He lay there for close to an hour, unable to drift off, tears soaking his pillow at one point, until everything went number. Suddenly, he had a crazy idea. He got up and march straight out of his room without once looking back.
Gringo was said to see Bogdale go but happy to see the old fool off on another crazy adventure. He helped him pack the Zigzog containers, which each contained an Aeroplight in stasis, onto the ship. A few more remained outside.
"Just spares," shrugged Bogdale, lifting the last of them onboard but leaving the cargo bay door opened. "Never know when you might need one."
While Gringo and Bogdale said their final goodbyes, Stardack sneaked up behind them, almost in a trance. He made his way onto the ship through the open door and calmly started to open one of the spare stasis pods. He was please to see that they manually set for longterm suspended animation.
"I just want some sleep," said Stardack to himself, under no illusions now that he would ever wake up again. He expected the ship to be destroyed on the way to the Aeroplight homeworld. Even if it wasn't, he wouldn't wake up for another twenty years, in a completely different place. "Just some...sleep," he said again, as he closed the door and was instantly frozen in time.
Stardack has always been different. Living over a busy spaceport was something that would have excited all his friends. Stardack hated it. He hated the noise. He hated the smell. He hated the people. He wanted to be alone. He'd always been alone. His real life hadn't started yet, he used to tell himself. Something would happened someday that would make everything okay. For a while he even thought he was an alien, perhaps a member of the long-lived Zyyx race, but he'd given up on that one eventually. No, something would just happen, that's what it was. That's what he was waiting for. Something that would make him WANT to interact with other people, something that would allow him to sit in the spaceport having a drink, chatting friendily to aliens. What that something was, he didn't know. But it would come in time. After all, there was nothing he could do to make it happen himself, he was sure of that. His friends were always coming up with money-making schemes and plans to get off the planet. Some had succeeded. Some had ended up in prison. And some were still here. None of them, though, slept as much as Stardack. If he could just sleep a while longer, something would happen...it had to...
He heard a buzzing. Someone was at his door. He knew instantly that it would be Gringo, the only friend who still came to see him, though Stardack didn't know why. He looked at the the monitor and sure enough Gringo was there, smiling into the camera. If it had been anyone else Stardack would have pretended not to be home, but he still felt a certain loyalty to Gringo. He unlocked the door and Gringo strolled in, looking as happy as ever. He made straight for Stardack's model of the Antuar IV class spaceship and started spinning it around. Stardack hadn't even so much as looked at the model in the three years since he'd finished constructing it.
"All right, mate!" said the always enthusiastic Gringo. "This a new one? You still making models?"
"No," said Stardack, who remembered telling Gringo several times before that he wasn't making models anymore. "And no."
"That's a shame, Star, you're good at it!" said Gringo, putting the model down facing the wrong way on its stand. "Anyway, you'll never guess what old Bogdale's going to do!"
"What?" said Stardack, wondering why Gringo thought he'd care what old Bogdale was going to do. Bogdale was an aged Heffdog trader, constantly in trouble with the law, who Gringo admired for some strange reason.
"He's smuggling a bunch of Aeroplights back to their home world!" beamed Gringo, as though this was the most exciting thing ever. Stardack knew this couldn't be true, the Aeroplight home world was a ten year journey away, twenty in the bucket of bolts freighter Bogdale used. He waited for an explanation from Gringo, but none came.
"How is that even possible?" he sighed.
"He bought some stasis units, man! Disguised them as Zigzog containers! He'll put them in stasis then put himself in too! He said he'll have the ship on autopilot all the way, he's crazy, man!"
"That's madness!" said Stardack, angry at the ridiculousness of the whole situation, even more angry at Gringo for seeming to think it was so great. "It's a twenty year journer, something's bound to go wrong! That ship he flies will never be able to make it for one thing, and the Aeroplight rangers are always checking for refugess..."
"Plus the Millford Army are after him!" laughed Gringo. "Don't ask me why, the crazy old fool won't tell me."
"And you think all this is a good thing?" asked Stardack, barely hiding his disgust.
"It's what Bogdale does!" said Gringo. "I know you always play it safe but..."
"Play it safe?" snapped Stardack. "I just don't want to die on some insane mission!"
"Bogdale'll be alright, I'll see him again..." said Gringo.
"WHEN?" shouted Stardack, not even trying to disguise his anger. "Twenty years there and back, you'll probably be dead by the time he gets back, if he does, WHICH HE WON'T!"
"Meh, I'll probably run into him somewhere," said Gringo, uncorned. "And if I don't, well, that's life. You've got to live it, man."
"Yeah, great," said Stardack, turning his back on Gringo. "Well if that's all you've got to say I've got stuff to do so..."
"You don't want to come down and see Bogdale off?" said Gringo, disappointed. "He's leaving in an hour."
"I don't even know him!" said Stardack, completely unable to understand why Gringo or Bogdale would even want him there. "Just go...you don't want to miss him."
"I'll drop in on your again soon," said Gringo, not smiling anymore. "See you, mate."
"Whatever," said Stardack, letting him out. He intended to flop back on his bed right away, but he stopped to correct the position of the Antuar model first, then made his dramatic flop. He pulled the pillow up to his face. Then he let it go and started beating it with frustration. He wouldn't be able to get to sleep now, he was too angry. And even if he could, he'd only wake up again. What was the point? What was the point in ANYTHING? Things were never going to come right. He'd been a fool. He'd had moments of terror before when he'd realised his deeply ingrained belief in "things working themselves out" had been crap. He didn't even feel that terror anymore. He just wanted to sleep. He lay there for close to an hour, unable to drift off, tears soaking his pillow at one point, until everything went number. Suddenly, he had a crazy idea. He got up and march straight out of his room without once looking back.
Gringo was said to see Bogdale go but happy to see the old fool off on another crazy adventure. He helped him pack the Zigzog containers, which each contained an Aeroplight in stasis, onto the ship. A few more remained outside.
"Just spares," shrugged Bogdale, lifting the last of them onboard but leaving the cargo bay door opened. "Never know when you might need one."
While Gringo and Bogdale said their final goodbyes, Stardack sneaked up behind them, almost in a trance. He made his way onto the ship through the open door and calmly started to open one of the spare stasis pods. He was please to see that they manually set for longterm suspended animation.
"I just want some sleep," said Stardack to himself, under no illusions now that he would ever wake up again. He expected the ship to be destroyed on the way to the Aeroplight homeworld. Even if it wasn't, he wouldn't wake up for another twenty years, in a completely different place. "Just some...sleep," he said again, as he closed the door and was instantly frozen in time.
