I think I'd need a 7 foot tall black nun to poke my eyes out with a Visionaries action figure, then dress me in Nikki Cox's skin, make me fuck Bobcat Goldthwaite, then sell me to Ivorian slave traders before I'd consider posting at an Eastenders forum.
Of course, by then I'd be a blind, mentally & anally screwed slave with no access to the Interweb, so the whole argument would be rendered trivial, much like the soaps weak-sauce stories.