Make up more lies about Daniel Craig thread

[CaptainWacky]

Let's come up with even more stupid reasons why he can't play Bond, ignoring the fact that he's an actor and his personality DOESN'T HAVE TO REFLECT BOND'S IN ANY WAY.

1) He's afraid of Russians.
2) He can't whistle.
3) He only has one kidney.
4) He likes his martinis stirred, NOT SHAKEN!!!!

 

[SilentBtViolent]

3) Obviously a poor lover.
4) Penis too small.
5) Unable to add single-digit numbers.
6) Killed lots of hookers in Sarajevo.

 

[CaptainWacky]

7) IS JEWISH

 

[SilentBtViolent]

8) LOL THIS WILL BE A SMILY FACE I THINK

 

[whisky]

8 Once shook hands with Bernard Cribbins.
9 Never wears underware
10 likes goats milk

 

[Dr Dave]

11)drinks spoiled milk

 

[curiousa2z]

12.doesn't believe footie is the best game in the world
13.thinks yogurt goes on one's face
14.wants Wacky to step aside so that he can have Tom Whatsis from Superman for himself.
15. didn't toast the Queen at Christmas.

 

[Dr Dave]

16)Is not Danny Crane

 

[Gagh]

17) Daniel Craig once wrestled 17 Pakistanis to submission simply because they were Pakistanis. Racist do not make good Bonds (Tim Dalton was in the BNP)

18) Daniel Craig posts as Jayson at TrekBBS.

19) Daniel Craig created the Barzan Wormhole.

20) Daniel Craig won the 1995 Royal Rumble off air, tossing Bret Hart & Lex Luger over the top rope, with his special move, the MONOTONER!

 

[CaptainWacky]

21) Is Trekkie scum who turns his nose up at people being attracted to Anna Paquin
22) Is Anna Paquin.

 

[Gagh]

23) Is the real life model for the gimmick 'Tatanka'
24) Taught Toadfish all his legal knowledge
25) Is the real father to Beckham's first 67 kids

 

[Dr Dave]

26)Owns a Sweat Shop

 

[CaptainWacky]

27) Edited Quark out of Star Trek: Insurrection.
28) Decided to replace Seven Of Nine with Janeway in Star Trek: Nemesis.
29) Eats his own toenails.
30) Eat's JANEWAY'S toenails.
31) Killed Simon's mum from Simon And The Witch

 

[Gagh]

32) Is a shapeshifter & responsible for infecting the Great Link due to excess sex with Kira.
33) Directed Batman & Robin using only his anus
34) Raped the cast of 'Allo 'Allo
35) Gives his elderly mother Stone Cold Stunners as a happy slapping prank

 

[Dr Dave]

36) Helped write Star Trek Generations

 

[CaptainWacky]

37) Digitally inserted Mark Hamil's facial scars into Return Of The Jedi
38) Convinced Menty to leave TK forever.
39) Turned BDM to racism.
40) Stole a hat.

 

[Gagh]

41) Is solely responsible for the cancellation of the Original Star Trek series
42) Raped Nana Visitor in a truck
43) Stole Dale Winton's fake tan
44) Sent Nigerian Scam e-mails to Jim Gamma over 500 times a day
45) Raped & ate Jim Gamma

 

[Dr Dave]

46) Is related to Martha Stuart

 

[CaptainWacky]

47) Is Allison Mack's long lost father.
48) Hides behind Jethro's bins at night.
49) Jumps out from behind Jethro's bins in the morning to scare his kids.
50) Is saddened when he realises he's actaully as KASS'S house and rapes her in anger.

 

[Dr Dave]

51)Got his ass kicked by a 4 year old