CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
WHEN Mister Bob Noesbatard was born his parents took two looks at him and said "eww,he's ugly" and then "FUCK he's ugly" on the second look. They decided to sell him into slaverly but were disappointed to learn that they would only get five hundred sexpounds for him. "NOT ENOUGH YOU SHITS," said his father, a notorious racist and cat-strangler. "I ONLY KILL BLACK CATS," he later said in court.
His mother, a cruel, overweight frenchwoman with a hatred of chickpeas, decided to raise Bob to be a murderer, so that one day she could be interviewed by the media and say "I never thought he would turn out this way, he was always such a good boy!" and land herself a better husband. She began to condition him to hate all human beings by shouting "YOU HATE ALL OTHER HUMAN BEINGS" at him every fifteen seconds. This resulted in him hating only her.
At age 18 Bob finally stood up to his parents by kicking them both off a bridge then running away really fast.
Bob then decided to bake a gigantic bap "TO SHOW THE WORLD WHAT I AM" he declared, shouting at a passing girl.
Tragically he was run over by a tram 8 seconds later. The girl then stole his shoes, as she was, in fact, Lindsay Lohan.
He won't be forgotten.
His mother, a cruel, overweight frenchwoman with a hatred of chickpeas, decided to raise Bob to be a murderer, so that one day she could be interviewed by the media and say "I never thought he would turn out this way, he was always such a good boy!" and land herself a better husband. She began to condition him to hate all human beings by shouting "YOU HATE ALL OTHER HUMAN BEINGS" at him every fifteen seconds. This resulted in him hating only her.
At age 18 Bob finally stood up to his parents by kicking them both off a bridge then running away really fast.
Bob then decided to bake a gigantic bap "TO SHOW THE WORLD WHAT I AM" he declared, shouting at a passing girl.
Tragically he was run over by a tram 8 seconds later. The girl then stole his shoes, as she was, in fact, Lindsay Lohan.
He won't be forgotten.
