My absent mindedness has reached new hights

[whisky]

Today while trying to unlock the door to my office I was checking my pocket for my keys with my left hand, whilst holding my keys in my right.

 

[Loktar]

My absent mindedness just reached new heights when I first read the thread title as "My absent minidress has reached nude sights"

 

[Robert "Monkey" Loggia]

You think that's bad? I've sometimes panicked while in the midst of driving to work because I realize my car keys aren't in my pocket.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

You think that's bad? Sometimes I'll try to push my glasses closer to my eyes to get a clearer view, then I realise I'm wearing contact lenses and my eyesight is slowly diminishing and there's nothing I can do about it.

AND I DON'T HAVE A DOOR AND MY PENIS IS SMALL AND SCARRED AND YUB PICKS ON ME AND I FORGOT THE TOWEL RACK AND I LOST MY JOB BECAUSE THE REGIONAL MANAGER SAW ME PICK MY NOSE AND EAT IT AND MY PERSONAL DIVULGENCES GO IGNORED ON EACH AND EVERY OCCASION AND I HAD TO GOOGLE "DIVULGENCES" BECAUSE FIREFOX KEPT TELLING ME IT WASN'T A FUCKING WORD WHEN I KNEW IT WAS A FUCKING WORD FFS.

 

[Tisiphone]

OR WHEN I'M TALKING ON MY CELL PHONE AND FREAK OUT BECAUSE I CAN'T FIND MY CELL PHONE

 

[CaptainWacky]

I FORGOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO TYPE WHILE I WAS HI MY NAME IS WACKY

 

[Tisiphone]

HI WACKY I'M TISI'S TWIN, MISI, MISIPHONE IS MY NAME AND FORGOT WHAT MY GAME IS

 

[Consumer]

I was at McDonlads with my son, scanning the "play structure" area frantically for him when I realized he was staring at me from across the booth.

 

[Love Child]

I think this has to do with sex. ALL OF IT!

 

[Robert "Monkey" Loggia]

I sometimes look for my glasses when I'm wearing them.

 

[whisky]

Sometimes I try and take mine off when I already have.

 

[Robert "Monkey" Loggia]

I've done that. Or go to adjust them when I'm not wearing them and poke myself between the eyes.

Broseph, we are getting older. :-(

 

[Tisiphone]

I tried to put the milk in the pantry the other night.

 

[Loktar]

I put the garlic powder in the fridge last week.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I wanked my feet instead of my cock.

 

[Tisiphone]

I sucked a straw instead of his dick.

 

[Tisiphone]

But that was on purpose because he pissed me off.

 

[Dr Dave]

Not so much absent mindedness then.

 

[CaptainWacky]

More abSTRAW mindedness.

 

[jack]

I ground up the coffee and poured it in my cup instead of the French Press this morning.

 

[whisky]

Since starting woodworking, I have had to buy many tape measures as as soon as I put one down it just vanishes.