My Funeral

Conchaga

Let's fuck some shit up
No funeral. No viewing. No coffin. Just cremate me. Put my ashes in a cardboard box. Sprinkle them over the place of my chosing. Instead of spending all that money on bullshit pomp and circumstance, there will be a provision in my will to send a good bottle of whiskey to each of my closest loved ones with instructions to get hammered (crying is optional) and move on. When the bottle of whiskey is finished, so should be their sorrow.

Everything after that, they're paying for. If you're looking for money after I'm dead for some stupid, morbid fascination with my dead corpse, go fuck yerself.

I'd prefer to die like a decent Irishman.
 

Elrod

New Member
No funeral. No viewing. No coffin. Just cremate me. Put my ashes in a cardboard box. Sprinkle them over the place of my chosing.

Do we have to wait until you're dead?

Instead of spending all that money on bullshit pomp and circumstance, there will be a provision in my will to send a good bottle of whiskey to each of my closest loved ones with instructions to get hammered (crying is optional) and move on. When the bottle of whiskey is finished, so should be their sorrow.

Everything after that, they're paying for.

No shit... the cost of three bottles of whiskey should wipe out your savings quite easily, Rockefeller.
 

Mirah

I love you
I don't even recall having that dream. I bet I made it all up! But since I found this thread, maybe we should all write about what we want our funterals to be. We are getting up there in age and we might not last into 2022.
 

Loktar

Pinata Whacker
I don't even recall having that dream. I bet I made it all up! But since I found this thread, maybe we should all write about what we want our funterals to be. We are getting up there in age and we might not last into 2022.
Mom made it 78, Dad is still going at 85. Im 48. I'm pretty sure I'm not going anywhere for 30 years at least.
 

USUC

Trollzilla
I’ve told my family I don’t want a funeral or what’s euphemistically called a “celebration of life” these days. Fuck that…it’s not like it would be any fun for me.
If they all decide to get together and get drunk or something, whatever (at best I can hope to haunt them). But no cheesy pictures of me, no obituaries…let me rest in fucking peace for a change.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
I want Phillip Phillips' "Home" and the traditional "Abide With Me" sung. And if at all possible, I want to go to the cemetery in my A-Team van.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Amusingly, in lieu of a coffin, I have considered one of them Thule rooftop car carriers, because they look a little photon torpedo-like. Although the bastards cost about as much as a coffin, IIRC, so maybe not worth the effort.

The other option that would be awesome, but wildly impractical, would be to be burned on a pyre in the woods, dressed up like Darth Vader, while midgets in teddy bear costumes dance around it.
 

The Question

Eternal
I want my body thrown off a mountain so it takes my electrical patterns a while to intersect in a human body again. I need a break from this fucking idiot species.
 

The Question

Eternal
Or you could just get a Covid vaccine.
If you're not feeding me, funding me, or fucking me, you can keep any suggestions for what I do with my life to yourself. Capisce?
 

eloisel

Forever Empress E
Don't die anytime soon, Mirah. I hope to visit with you again next time I'm in Washington. The Kitsap Peninsula and Port Townsend are still some of my favorite places to go and my travel buddy and I enjoy exploring the state in general.
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
Don't die anytime soon, Mirah. I hope to visit with you again next time I'm in Washington. The Kitsap Peninsula and Port Townsend are still some of my favorite places to go and my travel buddy and I enjoy exploring the state in general.

I was up in Bellingham for awhile late last year. Very interesting and entertaining.
 

eloisel

Forever Empress E
I was up in Bellingham for awhile late last year. Very interesting and entertaining.
I like to take the ferries and ride the boats. Have you been to Port Townsend? I'd almost move there.
 

USUC

Trollzilla
I want my body thrown off a mountain so it takes my electrical patterns a while to intersect in a human body again. I need a break from this fucking idiot species.
Everybody who pays taxes is funding
If you're not feeding me, funding me, or fucking me, you can keep any suggestions for what I do with my life to yourself. Capisce?
Everybody who pays taxes is funding everyone else. It’s a group fuck and we’re all in it.
 
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