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My plan for fixing a lot of the world's problems: a first draft

Darth Abominus

You bitches KNOW I'm awesome!
Greetings,

The following ideas are my own and will be controversial to many of you. Some of you religious types will likely be offended, some of you liberal types will be offended, and as for you conservative types, well...you'll also be offended.

One of the biggest problems our world faces today are people who offer no real constructive content to society as a whole. Take as an example the individuals who live in a trailer across the street from my current home. They wake up their neighbors at three in the morning with their loud music, cursing, and drunken partying. They have loud motorcycles which they start up in the middle of the night, waking up children in the neighborhood. I have spoken to many of my neighbors who say that these individuals, who I will call "TD" for Trailer Dwellers, are drug addicts and drug dealers, as well as alcoholics. Next door to the TDs is a family whose mother once walked their son to meet the school bus at 630 AM with a Miller Lite in hand. I witnessed this as I headed off to work.

These people are pathetic and are destroying a small segment of society. There are even worse people I have seen, who are caught in the thrall of drug and substance abuse, who have no concern for developing social skills or gaining cultural knowledge. These people also ignore basic human values as well as common rules of decent hygiene. I have been near some of these people in supermarkets and have been disgusted by their unwashed clothing, reeking of smoke and body odor.

These people are filthy degenerates. Notice I have not yet called them worthless. There are those who might feel they are without worth, and advocate their wholesale slaughter in concentration camps, which is an idea that could have its merits.

But I would rather see these people as having some basic worth. Not as functional human beings, since they have forsaken their rights as such by their detrimental actions towards the most basic of communal responsibility. No, instead, I submit that these individuals should become the basis of a new slave class.

These individuals, along with those of their ilk who eventually and often inevitably end up in prison, should be used as a slave class for we who do contribute. I am not a perfect person by any means, but I do contribute to society. I have a steady and important job, I pay taxes and don't suck at the teat of welfare, I maintain my domicile and am cordial and helpful to my fellow neighbors.

Thus, I feel deserving of being a person who would not fall into this slave labor class. The implementation of this slave plan would be simple. Governments would simply need to initiate martial law, and then invade the homes of these people by night. Their children, if they are young enough to be re-educated and properly formed, would be brought to child protective services and given to good families. Those too old for such measures or too far gone educationally would become slaves, but would be given menial tasks befitting their age and ability until they grow older.

Let me use a popular example of how beneficial this new slavery would be. Consider the ravages of Hurricane Katrina, and how much was made of the government's lack of proper care for its victims. In the event of another catastrophe, the state and federal governments would simpley employ the thousands of slave workers kept in camps throughout the state/country to aid in rescue, cleaning, and rebuilding. Imagine how rapidly New Orleans would have been resurrected with thousands of slave laborers who would have had no choice but to do their jobs.

Which brings me to my final thought for now: creating this new slave class. Some of you are likely asking: "how would we create willing slaves from drug addicts, alcoholic scum, and in some cases, adolescents?" Through rehabilitation and rigorous camp enforcement, these individuals would be given a choice: cooperate and become productive individuals for the first time in your lives, or be imprisoned and eventually executed.

This would be the only way these people could be molded into the workforce we productive citizens could benefit from.

I have other thoughts for later. Let's chew on this and discuss for now.
 
I hear that.

I did use to use this when I was a young troll - I think I dressed it up a bit better as controlling greenhouse gases by overseeing the proletariat by subjugation.

I suggest that
a) Darthsikle just about gets away with a Darth name, but it's still very limp wristed
b) A board full of people that REALLY REALLY CARE might be a better place for a potentially interesting theme as modern slavery.
 
Darth Abominus said:
The following ideas are my own and will be controversial to many of you. Some of you religious types will likely be offended, some of you liberal types will be offended, and as for you conservative types, well...you'll also be offended.

Another suggestion: Never, EVER start off any sort of essay, arguement, manifesto et al by warning everyone what an ideological badass you are. It only ensures that no-one will take you seriously -even your own constituency. Toot your horn AFTER you make your case.
 
Bah. Too long. You gotta cut it by 2/3. By the time you get to actual content I've been bored by your incoherent screed and stopped reading.
:bergman:
 
For some reason, this thread makes me hungry for a nice fried chicken meal, complete with collard greens, with a big ol' watermelon for dessert.
 
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