starguard
Unluckiest Charm in the Box
I never quite figured out why the intimate urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus/Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
For example:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said " What???!!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." "Can't you just love me for who I am and not for what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day, I opted to take the day off work and spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at the biggest, most expensive department store in the mall. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine honey." She was almost nearing total satisfaction from all the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go the to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "What????!!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added: "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
I've been sleeping on the couch ever since. But, it was worth it! :idea:
For example:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said " What???!!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." "Can't you just love me for who I am and not for what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day, I opted to take the day off work and spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at the biggest, most expensive department store in the mall. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine honey." She was almost nearing total satisfaction from all the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go the to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "What????!!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added: "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
I've been sleeping on the couch ever since. But, it was worth it! :idea:
