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Queen's speech predictions

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Predict statements the Queen will make during her Christmas day speech to the nation.

"Brexit. I don't really give a shit? I'm still rich."

"Still not dead, Charles, you mook!"

"Nintendo had a good year, eh?"

"I kind of agree with what Angela Lansbury said: they really shouldn't remake Murder She Wrote."

"Please remember this Christmas to pray to the baby Jesus to keep the Diana Zombie at bay, lest she feed on the flesh of the innocent once more."

"Anyone else fucking sick of 'Fairytale of New York'? We fucking get it by now, play something else."

"It's been a hard year, what with having to explain to Philip that no, Meghan isn't just 'very well tanned'..."

"I think I liked Twin Peaks? I don't know, some of it was definnitely good, but there were other parts I didn't get but I feel like if I asked someone to explain they'd just think I'm dumb so I pretend I understood them. Charles fucking loved it."

"I'm not really saying these words. It's all in your head. There is no Queen. There never was. Goodbye forever."
 
"I'm so over all this pomp and circumstance, so I'm retiring. But rather than let Charles have the throne now, I'm going to twist his tits one final time and let Claire Foy serve out the rest of my reign until she dies."
 
I listened to her speech this year for the first time ever (and only caught it by accident as we had Classic FM playing), and it was actually quite good. I wonder if she writes it herself.
 
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