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Religious Conversion...

Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
I'm a Catholic.

Or at least sort of. I was brought up Catholic. And when I go to church, I go to the Catholic church. I may very well have been a priest, only I kind of like that whole "sex with women" thing.

Because of this, the Episcopalians interest me. Now, I haven't studied it a lot, but of all the Protestant religions, Episcopalians seem pretty close to Catholics. And as an added plus, their priest can fuck.

But somehow it wouldn't seem right to change churches. I dunno what it is about it, but it just doesn't seem right.

Unless you do it on a grand scale.

I'm considering becoming a Zoroastrian.

I mean, when push comes to shove its got everything Christianity does--You got a good power and an evil power. And man can live by good or evil. But ultimately the good power will triumph. And, as I understand it, there are rewards for the followers of good and punishments for the evil. There are even angels of sorts. And a grand prophet in the Moses/Mohammed mold. It's maybe 1500 years older than Christianity, a great deal older than Islam, and a couple thousand years younger than Judaism.

As an added plus, it is a hip, obscure religion. There's only like, 100,000 or so followers in the world--some in its birthplace, Iran, but most in India. It's pretty much a given that there aren't any churches or regular services in Portland.

So there you go. I still get to believe in good -vs- evil. I can be a hipster, poseur, douchebag at cocktail parties, and I get to sleep in on Sunday mornings. :techman:

(I just need to keep this quiet until after my Mom dies. If she finds out before that, she'll come back and haunt me for all eternity.)
 
Oh, and the Good god is named "Mazda". I hope that means I don't have to buy a Miata. :unsure:
 
Episcopalians doesn't seem right for you. Aren't they the gay-friendly ones? With that gay bishop up in NH?
 
It's all just words to me I'm afraid.
 
I worship the devil and plan to rule beside him in eight years.
 
Lick my boots
 
Seems almost like walking up to a religion with a checklist that you can tick off as each match and mismatch your belief structure which itself was based on Catholic teachings that are extremley hard to come to terms with in the first place.


Just leave all that shit behind and become an Agnostic.
 
Every sperm is sacred....
 
Gagh said:
Every sperm is sacred....
Click to expand...
Ooh. Good point. I gotta see how...Ahura Mazda (gotta get God's name right, don'cha know) feels about birth control and recreational sex. :techman:
 
I'm an Episcopalian and I don't know that we're the gay loving church necessarily, I believe that is the Unitarian Church but we attracted more gays when we acquired a gay bishop. I'm still not entirely sure how that and what is clearly stated in the Bible is gelling but whatever. Live and let live. I like the Catholic Church's rites but I don't like that not everyone is invited to the table, seems hypocritical so I became Episcopalian. For the record I was raised Presbyterian.
 
Zoroastrianism is cool. I'm a nondenominational reverend; I actually baptised somebody as a Zoroastrian once (using fire, smoke, and water).
 
If you want a religion where people actually practice what they preach and believe in what they're doing, go with Baha'i. If you want something cool and obscure, go with Yazidism.
 
Paganism.
 
Dual said:
Zoroastrianism is cool. I'm a nondenominational reverend; I actually baptised somebody as a Zoroastrian once (using fire, smoke, and water).
Click to expand...
OOH! That reminds me:

I'd been meaning to do another post about what I want to happen to my remains when I die. I was at Toastmasters and someone did a speech about scattering her father's ashes over the Pacific Ocean from a small airlplane. This seemed sort of cool to me, but on the other hand, I sort of feel like I want to keep a chunk of ground for myself, to show that I was here; that I'm still here.

And this sorta goes with Catholicism. They allow us to cremate now, but you need to keep the ashes in an urn or something, because dogma says our bodies will be restored at the Last Judgement.

Anyways, I'm about 1/2 way through the Wiki article on Zor...Zoroastr..the Z religion. Apparently it was their belief that dead bodies are a source of corruption and decay (OK, they have a point, especially if you bury them too close to your well or too shallow or something), so they did the Plains Indian-style platform burial (where birds of prey come and devour the body)--still do in parts of India, I guess. That's sort of cool, but a bit much for me--even if it were legal in the US. But an acceptable alternative is cremation.

I sorta like the idea of cremation. Parts me out and give whatever is useful to people who need organs and such (but no keeping my brain or skull or anything for medical study!) and cremate everything else. Hell, instead of keeping me on a mantle or burying me in a cemetery, I want my urn cast into a cool concrete obelisk-thingie. Maybe a 2-3 foot tall obelisk, on a base with my information--maybe a cool brass plaque instead of just cast into the concrete (although scrappers might steal it. :unsure: ). I suppose you could just mix the ashes into the concrete, but somehow that doesn't seem as cool.

(Yes, I know all that has exactly ZERO to do with the Z religion. And is mostly a moot point because Cossacks could play polo with my head after I'm dead and it really wouldn't matter to me.)











Oh, and if I DO get a traditional burial, I sort of want to have an open casket funeral, buried in White Tie with an opera cape. And I want a big wooden stake sticking out of my chest (but not so big they have to saw it off to close the casket). That would be cool. :smfcool:
 
The idea of the dead body being a source of corruption and decay isn't exclusive to Zoroastrianism. Most classical pagan belief systems held the same - when Christianity came along and started converting the Roman Empire, much of the pagan opposition was disgusted by the very idea behind it - the body would literally rise from the dead and live again at Judgment. To the Neo-Platonist Greeks and Latins, that was absolutely disgusting.
 
I don't care what happens to my body after I die... I don't even care if there's RAPE.
 
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