Rubbish DC Heroes

[headvoid]

I must admit I now nothing about comic books, but I am intrigued by the idea that someone stated you should be able to tell what someone's mysterious powers are by their name.

No google involved - what is your guess on the following?

Arsenic the Giraffe (no joke - it's owned by DC)

My guess is that he poisons only the very tall people that kept him locked up in a cage in the zoo.

Bobby Milestone

Growing up in a small town, his teacher told him he would "never make it further than the milestone on the town outskirts" so he went out there, ripped it out of the ground and beat his teacher senseless with it.

Every year, he returns and beats people to death with the trademark black and white stone road marker.

Captain Foghorn - (you think I am making this up?)

He has an extended nasal cavity that can create sound waves that can sink ships. He is "Roman" in appearance.

Sally Norris

Knits at an extreme pace and can kill with her cake cutter. If you hear the words "pearl one" you are probably dead already.

Choose your own and give us a backstory.
http://www.dcuguide.com/Who/Misc.php

 

[FBI parte due]

Rockhead McWizzard, the crack-smoking archvillain of the Krunkman Kronicles.

 

[Cassie]

Andy Handy - He's real HANDY (has giant hands and obsessively masturbates on criminals)

Archie O'Toole - Defeats criminals with his o' tool.

Biggety Bear - Charms the pants off criminal twinks.

Billy Goat - BA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A

Bobby Thatcher - Transforms into Margaret Thatcher.

Chikko Chakko - GIMME A TACO

 

[headvoid]

I think Chikko Chakko could have some useful wrestling moves.

 

[Yub]

Sticky-Mitt Stimson

Caught masturbating by his mother, ticking time bomb Lenny Stimson killed her in a fit of rage. Unfortunately for him his mother was gypsy and cursed him from beyond the grave with forever having sticky cum covering his right hand. Driven insane by the curse, he now commits robberies with his hand to fund grand crimes against high profile women. He is, of course, a member of Batman's rogues gallery.

 

[CaptainWacky]

PENNILESS PALMER - Billionaire industrialist Bernard Palmer wanted only one thing out of life: the love of Penny Brickface, the big-hearted lass who ran an orphanage...an orphanage Palmer's company was set to demolish to make way for a GUN FACTORY. At first Palmer's clumsy attempts to woo her were only for show, he was simply trying to convince her to sell the orphanage to him. But gradually he fell for her and she began to love him too. Yet tragedy struck when Palmer's second in command went ahead and demolished the orphanage anyway, killing eithteen orphans inside! Penny swore never to love Palmer and ran away to Africa to take care of little black orphans. Consumed with rage, Palmer took the name "Penniless Palmer" and began murdering eighteen orphans once a year on the day she ran out of him...

 

[Yub]

Ol' Oz Bopp

Ozwald Bopp was from a young age gifted with two things, an unprecedented IQ and the ability to charm the opposite into sexual encounters despite age, race, creed or belief. Branded a menace by each successive town he strayed through, his infamy grew and although society has shunned him, he works tirelessly to better humanity. His penchant for charming any woman out their clothes almost unconsciously quite often hinders his goal. His very name has become a slang term for sexual intercourse, such is his prowess.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Shorty - Rather than being ironically very tall like you would expect, Shorty is, in fact, very very short in a case of DOUBLE IRONY. Shorty hates the world and everyone in it.