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Sad

But we'll still have *some* sex, just much less as it might fuck with my head but the sex is so good I've got to have me some. But now I can maybe fuck some other people too! Whee!

Prospects:

1) Armored Car Guy: cute, sort of. this one is more for the sheer novelty and challenge of getting him to be so unprofessional as to ask me out. One in particular, but I'd settle for any of them really. They're all okay.

2) New guy: the guy who replaced my ex (the other ex) at work is cute--like the new superman cute-- and it he's young, it would be novel and an accomplishment.

3) Tech assist: he also doubles in one of my old positions at work, we agreed many years ago that if we were ever both single we'd see if there was adequate chemistry. Wonder if he remembers that. Plus, we talk ST non-stop, it's pretty cool.
 
Basically, our chemistry just never went anywhere. It was wierd, we both love everything about the time we spend together but we don't love eachother, as much as we'd like to. He needs something more, and while I know how to provide that kind of devotion, I am unwilling to give it right now, so soon after all that giving in my last relationship. We still have awesome chemistry, but....
 
The other ex--the four year one was my coworker. And not the first coworker I'd had sex with either. The only one I'm concerned about drama-wise is the tech assist.
 
He's been dating his manager's daughter (who also works there!) off and on for several years now. I work indirectly with all three of them, and I used to work very closely with the manager and he almost looks on me as a daughter-figure. So I'd need to be very careful about how "on again/off again" they are right now.
 
She cried as he held her tight

it would never be the same again

it never could

he was selfish

she was unforgiving

they stood still in the night

listening to the water lap at the shore

embracing only memories as they said their goodbyes

embracing only fantasies, hopes, dreams and wishes

unfullfilled

she told him she loved him

he told her the same

they held hands and kissed

caressing each others hair

wishing for more

mourning the loss

facing reality

slipping into the past

they made love once more

fierce and evil

common and scathing

knowing they would always have each other

one last time

in their memory
 
Gonad is female? I feel like I knew that yet I'm still surprised.

Oh and don't be a booty call for the guy, surely you have more self-esteem than that.
 
But--but--the sex is so *good*. Anyhoo, he broke up with me because he thought I didn't care about him, and he was ultra-surprised when I didn't just completely brush it off with a 'meh.' Sad, sad. He just wants to be loved. So sad. I don't think I have it in me to give like that (emotionally--not sexually) right now. Saddest because the break-up conversation was the most serious and in-depth conversation we'd ever had; involving personal dreams of love and life. We had gauged eachother completely wrong, it was wierd. I think posting what's going on now will read as if I am a fool, but I know what I'm doing. I know what he needs and what he wants and I know almost exactly how to give it to him. But is that what I want to do? He wants me to stay, to let him love me. We've had a few good talks, and no sex. He lives with my best friend, so it would put him in a difficult situation to be the asshole. I don't know, I wonder if I'm too tired to give right now. I'm pretty sure I'll end up trying; we'll see.

I bet if he ends up loving me a lot of the meaner sex stuff will go bye-bye. I could be wrong, but I'm guessing.
 
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