SINITTA TO ABORT MORE FAMOUS BABIES TO STAY FAMOUS

[CaptainWacky]

"ABORTING SIMON COWELL'S BABY THIRTY YEARS AGO HAS MADE ME A LOT OF MONEY AND, EVEN BETTER, KEPT ME FAMOUS SOMEHOW, SO I HAVE DECIDED TO LET MYSELF BE IMPRGNATED BY MORE FAMOUS MEN AND ABORT THEIR FAMOUS BABIES," SHE SHOUTED, AT SOME NEWSPAPERS. "ARE YOU FAMOUS? YOU, READING THIS? PLEASE, KNOCK ME UP, I'LL FUCKING DO ANYTHING TO BE IN THE SUN!"

BODGER AND BADGER WERE NOT AVAILABLE FOR COMMENT.

 

[headvoid]

IS THIS BIKINI TOO SMALL FOR ME? CAN YOU SEE MY TITS AND ALSO MY INNER SOUL? WHATS THAT, YOU CANT SEE MY SOUL ? HAHAHAHA BONK

SIMON COWELL HAS TOUCHED ME WANT TO FEEL ME TOO? I BET YOU DO COS I AM RELEVANT AND URBANE AND SUPER FUCKIN SEXY.

(help, I'm trapped and can't escape, he made me work with Louis Walsh and has my cats, get this message out PLEASE)

HAHAHAHAH WHO WAS THAT! HA IM TOO SEXY FOR THIS SOFA AND I CAN SING AS WELL WATCH ME DANCE LIKE AGYRATING PENSIONER HA

 

[CaptainWacky]

REMEMBER WHEN SUE FROM SOOTY AND SWEEP WAS GOING TO BE A SINGLE MOTHER BROKEN BRITAIN BRING BACK GROTTBAGS TO SORT OUT THE WORKSHY.