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So, uh...

It's not just that thread. There was some glitch or checked option with Gagh's account, where every post he made also closed the thread.
 
No, he's OK most of the time, but whenever he touches a piece of gold, it turns into wood, steel, or, horrifyingly, flesh. He has nightmares about being forced to touch the golden statue at Rockefeller Plaza and wonders whether it would be worse if it turned into an insensate, undifferentiated pile of flesh that immediately collapsed into a quivering heap, or if it turned somehow into something living — gigantic, angry, confused, and unknowably alien.

He tried to install a new CPU once, but the computer wouldn't boot afterwards and smelled kind of like lobster until he threw it away.
 
Have you considered using your evil powers to teach mankind things like cultivation of crops, a system of writing, government, judgement of the dead and metallurgy?

You know, like Thoth or Quetzalcoatl.

You might find yourself quite popular and very wealthy in no time flat.
 
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