So, What Was the REAL Premise Behind RotS?

[Gagh]

If you SHAG AROUND (like Anakin) when you're a Church Goer (Jedi) a Priest (Obi-Wan) get's all pissy, and slices your arm and legs off with his JESUS SWORD? WHAT SORT OF FUCKING MESSAGE DOES THAT GIVE HONEST CHRISTIANS?

 

[Mentalist]

That Jesus fathered two children that were delivered by a robotic scoop arm and that incest between holy siblings is OK?

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

If you SHAG AROUND (like Anakin) when you're a Church Goer (Jedi) a Priest (Obi-Wan) get's all pissy, and slices your arm and legs off with his JESUS SWORD

and leaves you to die in the FIERY PITS OF HELL until LUCIFER (Palpatine) swoops you up to make you his EVIL GENERAL and gives you a COOL SUIT that doesn't include GHEY ROBES and RIDING PANTS that only girls should wear?

 

[Mentalist]

And that drug abuse if you're called CARRIE FISHER is a bad idea.

 

[Gagh]

and leaves you to die in the FIERY PITS OF HELL until LUCIFER (Palpatine) swoops you up to make you his EVIL GENERAL and gives you a COOL SUIT that doesn't include GHEY ROBES and RIDING PANTS that only girls should wear?

Yeah, and you're supposed to believe that as LUCIFER'S EVIL GENERAL with the COOL SUIT, you BREATH HEAVILY like all good DIRTY CRANK CALLERS and choke out people with EVIL MIND POWERS.

I suppose from a Biblical standpoint that bit MAKES SENSE!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

And that drug abuse if you're called CARRIE FISHER is a bad idea.

Because it makes you write tart, whiny BAD PROSE to thinly disguise the fact that you blame it all on your INSANE HOLLYWOOD MOTHER (Padme Reynolds) and SHORT JEWISH EX-HUSBAND (Yoda Simon).

 

[Gagh]

And that drug abuse if you're called CARRIE FISHER is a bad idea.

But perfect sense if you played UGNAUGHT #2

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Too much time in the CANTINA?

 

[Gagh]

RotJ promoted the Nazi movement and extreme racism. Vader (Black) has his mask remove to reveal a CHALK WHITE man (thanks to Chasing Amy for pointing that one out) and Jabba has the GREAT PIT OF CARKOON.

What next? LUKE BURNING A CRUCIFIX ON AN EWOK'S LAWN?

 

[Mentalist]

James Earl Jones voice was so cool it was threatening another global Ice Age so LU-CA$H had to make him say a bunch of ridiculous shit at the end while Hayden stumbled around like a fraggle in a bin-liner to knock him down a few notches.

 

[Gagh]

Fraggles in a Bin-Bag will happen come the SPECIAL EDITION of RotS when LU-CA$H gets down to his last $10 billion in 2021. They will be voiced by FRANK OZ and will be inserted in the Wookiee / Droid Army battle, where they will play 'An integral part' in the DEMISE OF THE JEDI!

 

[Mentalist]

What's really worrying is if LU-CA$H's big blue fat adopted daughter ever controls the LU-CA$HFILM estate and makes another trilogy starring herself as Mara Jade with Johnny "Rotten" Lydon as Luke.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

BILLY IDOL AS HAN FRODO THE SNAPPLE DELIVERY GUY FROM ENDORBAJOR?

 

[CaptainWacky]

THe message is don't try to be a great man just be a Jedi and let Yoda make his own judgementes LUCY IN THE SKY WITH CATS

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

and DONT FUCK WITH GRIZABELLA SHE'LL SING YOU TO DEATH

 

[The Tomtrek]

That if you ever have to choose between an elderman and your wife WHO IS NATALIE PORTMAN you should listen to NATALIE PORTMAN BECAUSE SHE'S REALLY HOT.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Then become such an asshole that she loses the will to live.

 

[The Tomtrek]

She didn't die she faked it so she could run off with Yoda.

WHAT ELSE WAS YODA DOING IN EPISODE IV? Explain that, Lucas (more like Lucash).

 

[CaptainWacky]

He fucked her to death in episode IV and that was actually the "great disturbance in the force" Obi-Wan felt, the "thousand voices crying out at once then suddenly silenced" were really just Padme's DEATH ORGASM.