Star Trek 11 script

[CaptainWacky]

(Cadet Kirk has been shown to his room in Starfleet Academy.)

Kirk: And now to meet my room-mate...A VULCAN!?

(Spock is sitting in a ZEN LIKE pose on the floor, playing that game Tuvok played with Harry Kim in Voyager CONTINUITY OMG.)

Spock: Greetings.

Kirk: I...wasn't aware there there WERE any Vulcans...in Starfleet.

Spock: I am not yet in Starfleet, I am a cadet just like you.

(Kirk laughs.)

Kirk: You are not just like me!

Spock: Correct, I am superior.

Kirk: Superior, eh? We'll see about that!

Spock: Would you like a game of [that game Tuvok played with Harry Kim in Voyager.]

Kirk: No, I want to play a HUMAN game with you...3D chess!

Spock: I am a master at that game.

Kirk: I can't believe I have a Vulcan room mate! What if I want to bring a girl back!

Spock: That would be illogical.

(GIANT SPIDERS ATTACK THE ACADEMY FOR SOME REASON.)

Kirk: Let's kick some spider-butt!

 

[Tyrant]

#%$#^#&54745754745756y4567456456456456546554


IMOHOHO issed:

 

[Shatna]

Oh god this is great.

THEN WHAT HAPPENS

 

[CaptainWacky]

SOMETHING SEXY.

 

[Shatna]

I'M BEGGING

 

[Ishcabittle]

INDEED LOL BONC!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Kirk: Come on, we've got to stop the giant spiders from eating the Academy!

(Kirk runs towards the spiders but Spock runs the other way.)

Kirk: That's right, run away you cowardly Vulcan! Jonathan Archer was right about you people!

(Kirk runs into the Academy GREAT HALL. It is a scene of CHAOS. The roof has been BLOWEN OPEN. Giant spiders are EATING and KICKING people. Starfleet marines are trying to keep them back with PHASER FIRE. A young ensign doctor is treating injured cadets.

Kirk: You, doctor!

McCoy: What?

Kirk: Damn it man, you have to come up with some medical way to kill these spiders! Some kind of...bio-weapon!

McCoy: I'm a doctor, not an executioner!

Kirk: You won't help save lives!?

McCoy: I *AM* saving lives.

Kirk: As a worthless SAWBONES, you have to be a fighter, man!

McCoy: Did you call me BONES!?

Kirk: I sure did you hillbilly, what are you going to do about it?

(Suddenly some ALIEN SPIDER EGGS drop through the hole in the roof.)

Kirk: My God Bones...if those things hatch...they'll kill us all!

McCoy: Looks like this is the end of Doctor Leonard H. McCoy...

(Suddenly SPOCK flies into the great hall though the roof in SPECTUCLAR FASHION in a new STARFLEET FIGHTER JET! He destoys the spider eggs with GUNFIRE.)

Spock: Mind if I, as you humans are so fond of saying, "drop in"?

Kirk: My God, that cowardly Vulcan save the day! He's...inspired me, to think better of his people!

McCoy: I still think he's a green-skinned son of a bitch!

Kirk: You've met him before?

McCoy: He cut in front of me in line in the cafeteria.

Kirk: Well don't...just stand there letting the Vulcan take all over the glory, let's get in jets ourselves and send these spiders back to HELL!

McCoy: I'm a doctor not a pilot.

Kirk: You...CAN be both, you know!

McCoy: Damn it, I know I'm going to regret havig met you, Jim Kirk...

TO BE CONTINUED

 

[CaptainWacky]

This is the right one.

 

[CaptainWacky]

LOL IT's BETTER THAN THE REAL ONE WHICH I HAVEn't READ AND HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF

 

[Cassie]

Dammit Jim THERE'S A SPIDER HUMPING MY LEG!

 

[Dr Dave]

That wasent a spider!

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Wow, this is surprisingly similar to the details of the real plot!! except the spiders and the fighter jets. they'll be in the sequel.

 

[CaptainWacky]

So not really similar at all then.