CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Since we ALL KNOW Lucas LIVES to slightly alter the Star Wars movies it is obvious that the 3D versions will have some minor alterations that won't satisfy some people, will have other people threatening to murder him and will leave most other people shrugging slightly, the bastard. LUCKILY some of these change have been leaked to me by a SECRET SOURCE (Billy Dee Williams) and I can exclusively reveal them here.
Episode 1: Puppet Yoda completely changed to CGI Yoda in all about two brief shots (try to spot them!)
Jake Llyod completely redubbed by Hayden Christensen digitally altered to sound like a child.
Qui Gonn now puts on a glove before catching Jar Jar's tongue.
Episode 2: Natalie Portman's nipples digitally removed becaue they would "scare children" in 3D.
Obi-Wan's "she seems to be on top of things" line removed even though it was kind of funny and extra unfunny 3PO lines inserted instead.
Count Dooku digitally altered to appear six inches taller, except for the in fight with Yoda where he goes back to his normal size because it would be "too hard" to alter him in that scene.
Episode 3: Ahsoka Tano walks by during the scene where Obi-Wan is saying goodbye to Anakin and looks directly into the camera.
Chewbacca made hairier.
Instead of saying "have the protocol droid's memory wiped" Bail Organa now says "have the protocal droid's head destroyed!" which means 3PO had a different head in the original trilogy.
Episode 4: Han/Greedo shooting first scene altered yet again so that Greedo still shoots first, but it's by the smallest possible unit of time known to science and some scientists claim that it's too small a unit of time to exist. The beam from Han's gun actually reaches Greedo before the beam from Greedo's gun misses Han, but this is explained in a technical manual by Han's gun having a "faster firing mechanism" and "Greedo definitely shot first."
CGI Jabba replaced by a giant sized CGI Salacious Crumb with absolutely no explanation.
A medal is digitally placed on Chewbacca but Lucas changes his mind and has it removed again but you can still see it for a few frames maybe.
Episode 5: "You were lucky to get out of there" changed back to "You're lucky you don't taste good" but a big obnoxious CGI bat flies in front of Luke as he says it and makes a loud noise so you can barely hear him.
Obi-Wan's "was I any different when you trained me?" line to Yoda changed to "was I any different when I was a youngling?" by a professional Alec Guinness impersonator who actually sounds nothing like him.
LOBOT's skin digitally made purple
Episode 6: More bantha added. A hundred more.
Zoom in on Jar Jar when he says "WESA FREE!" just so that you know it's definitely him and not some other Gungan.
Darth Vader's final "tell your sister you were right..." line altered to "tell Ahsoka you were right..." and followed by a stock shot of Mark Hamil looking confused.
Episode 1: Puppet Yoda completely changed to CGI Yoda in all about two brief shots (try to spot them!)
Jake Llyod completely redubbed by Hayden Christensen digitally altered to sound like a child.
Qui Gonn now puts on a glove before catching Jar Jar's tongue.
Episode 2: Natalie Portman's nipples digitally removed becaue they would "scare children" in 3D.
Obi-Wan's "she seems to be on top of things" line removed even though it was kind of funny and extra unfunny 3PO lines inserted instead.
Count Dooku digitally altered to appear six inches taller, except for the in fight with Yoda where he goes back to his normal size because it would be "too hard" to alter him in that scene.
Episode 3: Ahsoka Tano walks by during the scene where Obi-Wan is saying goodbye to Anakin and looks directly into the camera.
Chewbacca made hairier.
Instead of saying "have the protocol droid's memory wiped" Bail Organa now says "have the protocal droid's head destroyed!" which means 3PO had a different head in the original trilogy.
Episode 4: Han/Greedo shooting first scene altered yet again so that Greedo still shoots first, but it's by the smallest possible unit of time known to science and some scientists claim that it's too small a unit of time to exist. The beam from Han's gun actually reaches Greedo before the beam from Greedo's gun misses Han, but this is explained in a technical manual by Han's gun having a "faster firing mechanism" and "Greedo definitely shot first."
CGI Jabba replaced by a giant sized CGI Salacious Crumb with absolutely no explanation.
A medal is digitally placed on Chewbacca but Lucas changes his mind and has it removed again but you can still see it for a few frames maybe.
Episode 5: "You were lucky to get out of there" changed back to "You're lucky you don't taste good" but a big obnoxious CGI bat flies in front of Luke as he says it and makes a loud noise so you can barely hear him.
Obi-Wan's "was I any different when you trained me?" line to Yoda changed to "was I any different when I was a youngling?" by a professional Alec Guinness impersonator who actually sounds nothing like him.
LOBOT's skin digitally made purple
Episode 6: More bantha added. A hundred more.
Zoom in on Jar Jar when he says "WESA FREE!" just so that you know it's definitely him and not some other Gungan.
Darth Vader's final "tell your sister you were right..." line altered to "tell Ahsoka you were right..." and followed by a stock shot of Mark Hamil looking confused.
