CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
It was an enjoyable bus trip. There were lots of pretty flowers outside. He smiled at the pretty flowers. He even smiled at an old woman sitting across from him. Good trip! And then...the bus stopped. Some fat people got on. And then...a girl. A girl he'd went to school with.
She looked different. Well, she would, it had been...how many years? Many. Many years. She had an adult haircut. Her skirt was long. She looked shorter. But she still looked hot, he decidied.
And she sat down next to him.
"Hi! We went to school together! Lisa, remember?" Of course he remembered! She'd been near the top of his masturbation league table. He could see that table, in his mind, right now...was he holding it? Hide it! Don't let her see!
"Yes, of course I remember, I always found you very attractive," he said, calmly, smoothly. How did that happen? He was never calm and smooth, was he? Maybe he was. Maybe he'd just been pretending he wasn't. Because it felt right, now, being calm and smooth. Very right.
"Hehe, thanks," she said. "I was always near the top of your masturbation league table. I appreciated that."
She knew! He didn't care. He felt all buzzy and warm. Smoooooth. "Yeah, you deserved it. You hottie!"
"Tee hee! I'm a nurse now."
"A sex nurse?"
"No, just an ordinary one." She did not look puzzled at all by his question, though.
"Cool."
"So...what do you do?"
The bus came crashing to a halt. The flowers outside suddenly weren't so pretty anymore.
"Umm, I'm ill..."
"Oh?"
He exploded. "OH I SEE HOW IT IS. JUST BECAUSE I DON'T LOOK ILL, THAT MEANS I CAN'T POSSIBLY BE ILL. YOU FUCKING COW. EVER HEARD OF MENTAL ILLNESS? MENTAL FUCKING ILLNESS? WELL I HAVE ONE. QUITE A BIG ONE. IT SWIMS AROUND MY MIND MAKING ME ALL STICKY. THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH, STICKY. YOU WHORE. REMEMBER WHEN BARRY SCOTT SHAGGED YOU BEHIND THE BIKE SHED? I WAS WATCHING FROM BEHIND THE BINS. THAT'S RIGHT, SLUT, I SAW IT ALL. YEAH, GO AHEAD AND CRY. HAHAHA. I'M MENTALLY ILL AS FUCK. DON'T JUDGE ME. WHORE. DON'T JUDGE ME."
"Actually, being a nurse, I know all about mental illnesses," she said, her expression completely unchanged.
"Oh, right...you would...since you're not a sex nurse..."
"No, just an ordinary one. Anyway, this is my stop. The nose factory. Bye!"
"Bye!" She got off the bus. He stood up for some reason.
"Hehe, stupid fucker," came a voice. Two teenage kids were sitting behind him.
"Aye, fuckin' cunt, man!"
"Fuckin' shouted at that sex nurse so he did!"
"Aye, fuckin's shouted, man!"
"Fuckin' cunt, fuckin's shouted, man! But he's mentally fuckin' ill, so he is!"
"Aye, his MAW's mentally fuckin' ill, so she is!"
"Aye, the cunt, haha!"
"Fuckin' cunt's a cunt!"
He turned round. "I should slam both your heads together like I'm Hulk Hogan," he said.
"Double noggin' knocker, ya cunt!" said one of the youths.
"Yes," he said, but it was at that point that a giant crab attacked the bus. No, it was Scorponok from the Transformers. Of course it was.
He got off the bus and found himself back in high school. He checked his time table to see which class he was supposed to be in, but could only find the masturbation league table. And he couldn't read his own hand-writing!
"Would you like to learn about Hitler?" asked his history teacher.
"No thanks, this is a dream," he said, sadly. Yes, he felt sad. You don't really feel emotions in dreams, do you? So that must mean he was...
He woke up. Strange dream, he thought. Strange how smoothly and calmly he managed to talk, even when he was shouting like a crazy person. He did not seem as mentally ill in dreams. That was interesting. Was there a normal person inside him, locked up, waiting to get out, the prisoner of mental illness? Or did he just hate being awake?
He shrugged, rolled over, and went back to sleep.
She looked different. Well, she would, it had been...how many years? Many. Many years. She had an adult haircut. Her skirt was long. She looked shorter. But she still looked hot, he decidied.
And she sat down next to him.
"Hi! We went to school together! Lisa, remember?" Of course he remembered! She'd been near the top of his masturbation league table. He could see that table, in his mind, right now...was he holding it? Hide it! Don't let her see!
"Yes, of course I remember, I always found you very attractive," he said, calmly, smoothly. How did that happen? He was never calm and smooth, was he? Maybe he was. Maybe he'd just been pretending he wasn't. Because it felt right, now, being calm and smooth. Very right.
"Hehe, thanks," she said. "I was always near the top of your masturbation league table. I appreciated that."
She knew! He didn't care. He felt all buzzy and warm. Smoooooth. "Yeah, you deserved it. You hottie!"
"Tee hee! I'm a nurse now."
"A sex nurse?"
"No, just an ordinary one." She did not look puzzled at all by his question, though.
"Cool."
"So...what do you do?"
The bus came crashing to a halt. The flowers outside suddenly weren't so pretty anymore.
"Umm, I'm ill..."
"Oh?"
He exploded. "OH I SEE HOW IT IS. JUST BECAUSE I DON'T LOOK ILL, THAT MEANS I CAN'T POSSIBLY BE ILL. YOU FUCKING COW. EVER HEARD OF MENTAL ILLNESS? MENTAL FUCKING ILLNESS? WELL I HAVE ONE. QUITE A BIG ONE. IT SWIMS AROUND MY MIND MAKING ME ALL STICKY. THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH, STICKY. YOU WHORE. REMEMBER WHEN BARRY SCOTT SHAGGED YOU BEHIND THE BIKE SHED? I WAS WATCHING FROM BEHIND THE BINS. THAT'S RIGHT, SLUT, I SAW IT ALL. YEAH, GO AHEAD AND CRY. HAHAHA. I'M MENTALLY ILL AS FUCK. DON'T JUDGE ME. WHORE. DON'T JUDGE ME."
"Actually, being a nurse, I know all about mental illnesses," she said, her expression completely unchanged.
"Oh, right...you would...since you're not a sex nurse..."
"No, just an ordinary one. Anyway, this is my stop. The nose factory. Bye!"
"Bye!" She got off the bus. He stood up for some reason.
"Hehe, stupid fucker," came a voice. Two teenage kids were sitting behind him.
"Aye, fuckin' cunt, man!"
"Fuckin' shouted at that sex nurse so he did!"
"Aye, fuckin's shouted, man!"
"Fuckin' cunt, fuckin's shouted, man! But he's mentally fuckin' ill, so he is!"
"Aye, his MAW's mentally fuckin' ill, so she is!"
"Aye, the cunt, haha!"
"Fuckin' cunt's a cunt!"
He turned round. "I should slam both your heads together like I'm Hulk Hogan," he said.
"Double noggin' knocker, ya cunt!" said one of the youths.
"Yes," he said, but it was at that point that a giant crab attacked the bus. No, it was Scorponok from the Transformers. Of course it was.
He got off the bus and found himself back in high school. He checked his time table to see which class he was supposed to be in, but could only find the masturbation league table. And he couldn't read his own hand-writing!
"Would you like to learn about Hitler?" asked his history teacher.
"No thanks, this is a dream," he said, sadly. Yes, he felt sad. You don't really feel emotions in dreams, do you? So that must mean he was...
He woke up. Strange dream, he thought. Strange how smoothly and calmly he managed to talk, even when he was shouting like a crazy person. He did not seem as mentally ill in dreams. That was interesting. Was there a normal person inside him, locked up, waiting to get out, the prisoner of mental illness? Or did he just hate being awake?
He shrugged, rolled over, and went back to sleep.
