CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Sally the Squirrel wanted to get married, but time was against her. She'd wasted her younger years hanging around on trees and feasting on the forest's plentiful supply of nuts. Now she was middle aged and desperate for a shag. She looked around at the male squirrels sitting over on the next tree, discussing the latest episode of Lost or some other silly human tv show Sally had never gotten into. She sighed. All so young, all so dumb. Not that Sally herself was some kind of squirrel supergenius, but she'd always wanted her partner to be intelligent, to make her feel more intelligent and impress all those married bitches in her book club. She decided then and there to kill herself. She jumped off the branch, aiming for the uprising piece of sharp metal which for some reason was lying on the ground. Her aim was perfect. It pierced her tiny worthelss heart and she died quickly. No one cared.
