What's new
Troll Kingdom

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

The Bragging Thread

Consumer

Consumer

Elder Statesman
Rules:
1. It either must be TRUE and un-enhanced, OR so outrageous that no one will think otherwise. (i.e. Dr. Dave invented curtains)

2. The Poster must be the subject of the boast.

Go.
 
I once saw Hugh Laurie leaving the Fox Studio Backlot on his motorbike.
 
I once had tea with the Queen of England.
 
I raped Loktar in the ears whilst he had tea with the Queen of England.
 
I watched and recorded it all.
 
I'm Tomtrek!
 
I am Tomtrek.
 
I'm Spartacus.
 
I was once the highest rated ASW operator on the A/N-SQS 38 sonar in the world.
 
I let the dogs out
 
I am the only pedophile to ever evade Chris Hansen.

(Seriously, my beard and glasses make me look so creepy)
 
I was the number one artist, Afroman, and in 2000 recorded the smash hit "Because I Got High".
 
I'm alive.
 
I got a job with the CIA. I work undercover as a lazy, unemployed person. Relocated to my parent's house to really sell my cover ID.
 
I'm a walrus.
 
I am capable of holding my breath for 92 seconds while simultaneously using my tongue to perform "complex manipulations".

Of course, I'm gasping like a fish afterward, but 90 seconds is usually long enough to ride the "wave" as it were, and usually she's so happy she doesn't mind if I'm panting and blue (besides I usually keep my head down for a minute or so until the color comes back). I imagine that if I passed out she'll probably check (but it's not really my Kink, so I'll defer to another poster on that one).
 
I made chicken and dumplings so delicious time stood still.
 
At weekends, I pretend I'm Cassie, and go and and speak lengthy monologues at imaginary cows.
 
EVERYDAY, I peek through windows looking for Gagh. WHERE ARE YOU? Pls come home. :rwmad:
 
After Lady Gaga made a dress from meat, I made some trousers out of soup.

It did not end well.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top