The Extraordinary Mister Binkle

[CaptainWacky]

Mister Binkle woke up with a smile on his face as he did every morning, safe in the knowledge that today he would make a difference.

"Good morning, sir," said Jenkins, his butler and best friend.

"Jenkins my man, pleasant as always to see you!" said Binkle, jumping out of bed. He was fully clothed in a suit and tie and top hot which had somehow stayed on his head all night. Jenkins handed him his cane. "Thank you my good fellow! What is on the agenda today?"

"Some lives to save, sir. Human and feline."

"Ah, some cats facing mortal peril today? Well I'll see to it that they live on to chase more mice, to dream more dreams of tuna fish!"

"Very good sir," said Jenkins, handing Binkle a print-out listing today's heroic missions. "As you can see sir a 25 year old Scottish man is about to take his own life, so time is of the essence."

"Golly Jenkins, you're right! I must hurry!" He stepped onto the transporter pad. "Beam me there, Jenky! Just a little joke! Tally-ho!"

"Tally-ho indeed," said Jenkins and he activated the transporter. "Good luck, sir."

The Scottish man was startled to see Binkle appear in front of him. So startled that he dropp the razor blade he had been about to slash his wrists with.

"Who...what...how!?" was all he could get out.

"Yes yes, I'm quite extraordinary," said Binkle, matter of factly. "Tally-ho and all that! Now then young lad, why do you want to kill yourself?"

"How did you get in here!?"

"Not important dear boy, now pleasce hurry, the schedule says a cat is going to be run over in fifteen minutes and I do love cats!"

"This can't be real!"

"It is quite real and you are still quite arrive now, but I can't stay with you forever! I need an assurance that when I leave here you won't just hack into your wrists again!"

"I want to know how you got here!"

"There, you have a reason to live! Jolly good! Jenkins? It's time for me to go! Live long and prosper, chap! As they say, hoho! Tally-ho!"

And, just like that, Binkle was gone. The Scottish man paced up and down his house for hours trying to make sense of what had just happened, untl eventually he turned on the news to find some breaking news.

"Breaking news!" said the reporter. "A man claiming to be named 'the Extraordinary Mister Binkle' today materialised as if from nowhere in the middle of a busy motorway, saved a cat's life, waved to a crowd of school children and disappeared again! Scientists are baffled!"

"We think he might be some kind of MAGIC MAN!" said a top scientist, on the television.

The Scottish man turned it off. He looked at himself in the mirror. Was his life any better, just because he'd been saved this morning? No. He still had nothing. By rights he should have been dead by now. He WOULD have been dead by now...if not for Binkle. A dark, deep loathing started to rise up from the Scottish man's stomach, taking him over. Binkle had robbed him of his death! Robbed him of the peace he deserved after 25 years of suffering. And he couldn't just go and attempt suicide again, now now. He was living again, living only to hate but still living. He knew what he had to do.

He was going to kill the Extraordinary Mister Binkle.

TO BE CONCLUDED

 

[CaptainWacky]

BUmp

 

[CaptainWacky]

"Good morning, sir," said Jenkins, punctional as always. Binkle jumped out of bed, this time completely naked. Jenkins didn't flinch. Binkle's clothes had been burned beyond repair when he had saved an old woman from a fire in her home.

"Please excuse my nudity, old chap!" said Binkle, brightly.

"I took the liberty of looking out some new clothing for you, they're hanging on the wardrobe..."

"Yes yes, splendid, splendid!" said Binkle. "I'll change in a jiffy but please tell me Jenkins, what's first on the agenda today?"

"A teenage girl is about to be mugged in New York City," said Jenkins, reading from his print-out. "Things turn rather nasty and her attacker accidently slashes her throat. But it should be easy for you to disarm him, with the element of surprise."

"A potent weapon indeed!" said Binkle, now getting dressed. "Off to work I go!"


Binkle appeared in the alley shortly afterwards, still smiling. But his expression shifted immediately. The girl, the girl he'd arrived to save, was lying on the ground, with wounds all over her body and blood everywhere. And another man, who Binkle could only assume was the mugger, was lying beside her, cut up just as bad. Both had bled to death.

"This...this is impossible!" said Binkle, sickened by what he saw. "Jenkins?! Come in, Jenkins!"

"I can see you, sir," said Jenkins, gravely, over the communicator. "I used the computer to create a simulation of the scene, sir. I can't understand it either. The mugging wasn't supposed to happen yet, the date was clear..."

"Blast it man, this was no mere mugging!" said Binkle. "This girl...AND this man, both of them were murdered! Murdered no doubt by a third party! But how, Jenkins!? The computer would have known, it knows everything!"

"I don't know sir, I really don't," came the sad reply from Jenkins. Binkle could tell Jenkins was just as upset as he was.

"I'm sorry for losing my temper, old boy," said Binkle. "It's just...this is so wrong."

"I know sir...sir? The computer, it's showing something else...please, turn around."

Binkle felt sick as he slowly turned, wondering if he was going to see anymore bodies. What he saw though just confused him even more. There, on a wall at the end of the alley, written in large letters in BLOOD was a message. A message to Binkle.

"MORE WILL DIE. MANY MORE. BECAUSE OF YOU. MISTER BINKLE. THEIR BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS."

Binkle vomitted violently.

TO BE CONTINUED

 

[CaptainWacky]

"How is is this possible!" said Binkle. "Those people, they shouldn't be dead! Even that mugger, ghastly chap as he no doubt was, he didn't deserve to die in such a manner. And all of it, it seems...is somehow my fault?"

"I wish I could answer you, sir," said Jenkins. "I really do not know how this happened."

"The computer, the prophecy computer, it's never let us down before! Surely it should have seen these two dying?"

"It's a complete mystery to me, sir," said Jenkins.

"How could someone even have known that the crime was about to happen and that I would be there?" asked Binkle, pacing up and down in his anger. "They would have to have access to the Prophecy Computer..."

"Impossible sir!" said Jenkins, passionately. "I was responsible for installing the firewall system on the Prophecy Computer. There is no way anyone could hack into it, I state my very reputation on it!"

"And that is, as always, good enough for me, Jenkins," said Binkle, smiling a little to his loyal manservant. "Even so, I cannnot see any other way they could have had access..."

"Sir," said Jenkins, tentatively. "What if...what if someone else has a Prophecy Computer? Someone...evil, sir?"

"No, darn it!" said Binkle. "The alien who gave me the technology was quite clear, he would only be giving it to me and only to do good. There is only one Prophecy Computer in the entire world!"

"The alien couldn't have lied to you, sir?" asked Jenkins.

"I can read people, Jenkins. One of my more extraordinary skills. I can always tell what kind of a person someone is. And this alien was a thorougly decent egg."

"Very good, sir," said Jenkins.

"Now, who needs saving next?"

"You're going to continue today?"

"Jenkins, you surprise me! Of course I'm going to continue! I will continue helping people until there is no one else to help."

"I am...proud of you, sir," said Jenkins, nearly tearing up.

"No need for that, man," said Binkle. "Now who is next on the list?"

"Another young woman, sir," said Jenkins. "In ten minutes she will attempt to change a lightbulb at the top of her stairs on an old stool. One of the legs breaks and she falls down the stairs and breaks her young neck."

"Well, send me there right away!" said Binkle. "Tally-ho!"

"Sir?" said Jenkins, surprised. "In a case like this, normally you would arrive just as she was about to fall and catch her. If you left now you would be far too early."

"Exactly," said Binkle, excited. "Early enough to catch that murderous blighter if he dares show up at the young woman's home!"

"That could be dangerous, sir," said Jenkins, concerned.

"More dangerous for the young woman if she is home alone with that fiend," said Binkle, gravely. "Prepare the transporter pad!"

"Very good, sir," said Jenkins, as Binkle stepped onto the pad. "Good luck. If the murderer is there...give him a black eye for me!"

"I'll give him three black eyes!" said Binkle. "Tally-yo!"

He disintergrated on the pad.

TO BE CONTINUED

 

[CaptainWacky]

Natalie was quite surprised when Mister Binkle appeared in front of her.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?" she screamed, dropping the lightbulb she'd just looked out.

"Ah, I got you in time!" said Binkle, relieved. "A pleasure to meet you, young lady. I am the Extraordinary Mister Binkle."

"They guy from the news!?" she said, still in shock.

"Indeed! I must say that all the attention has been quite flattering!"

"Well...that still doesn't give you the right to just appear in my house! I could have been naked or something!" Binkle raised an eyebrow, suggestively. "Hey!"

"Oh, sorry, sorry!" said Binkle. "I am a red-blooded man, after all!"

"Look, why are you here?" asked Natalie, not scared anymore but wanting to get to the bottom of this. "I thought you only helped out people, and pets, who were in danger? I'm fine."

"You were about to fall down the stairs and break your neck attempting to change a lightbulb," said Binkle.

"Oh," said Natalie. "In that case...thanks."

There was a sudden noise coming from Natalie's bathroom, then it stopped.

"What the..." said Natalie, bun Binkle put his hand over her mouth.

"Natalie this is very important, is there anyone else in the house?" he asked, quickly.

"No, I live alone," she said.

"Stay here," he ordered and she did so without question as he edged towards the bathroom. He kicked the door open and there, standing wait, was the depressed Scostman.

"You!" said Binkle.

"Me," said the Scotsman, with a grim smile. "You got here early. Smart. I was going to save the girl from falling...then rape the shit out of her. I'd slit her fucking throat and disintergrate right as you arrived. But you had to go and spoil it, like you spoil everything in my life..."

"You can't disintergrate, you don't have a transporter!"

"Oh no?" said the Scotsman, in a mocking tone. "I was paid a visit...by an alien..."

"No! The alien is a force of good!" said Binkle, angry.

"Good can't exist without out evil, Binkle. I am the black to your white, the Yin to your Yang...I am your opposite and equal. I will destroy you."

"Why, dash it all!?" said Binkle. "WHY!? I only tried to help you!"

"I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOU SICKENING SELF-RIGHTSEOUS HELP!" spat the Scotsman.

"It was freely given," said Binkle, a tear in his eye. "I saved your life."

"I didn't want to be saved. I wanted to die. But now...now I live. I live for revenge!"

"RRRRARGH!" Binkle lunged for the Scotsman. The Scotsman disappeared...then appeared again, outside the bathroom. He grabbed Natalie.

"DON'T YOU HURT HER!" said Binkle, consumed with rage.

"Tally-HO!" said the Scotsman, in a hideous twist voice. But Natalie elbowed him in the groin and ran into Binkle's arms. Looking madder than ever, the Scotsman disappeared.

"Thank goodness you're all right," said Binkle, stroking her hair. She did not resist.

"Who was that man!?" she asked, shaking.

"My nemesis," said Binkle.

 

[CaptainWacky]

"Are you just going to leave?" asked Natalie, as Binkle contacted Jenkins.

"Don't worry, the Scotsman won't be back here, there's no need for you to be scared," said Binkle.

"That's not what I meant! You just came into my life with no warning, saved me from a psycho...and now you're leaving me?" said Natalie, her eyes teary.

"It's the way it has to be," said Binkle, not unsympathetically. "I entered people's lives, I help them...then I leave. Tally-ho."

"Let me come with you!" she pleaded. "I could help you find this guy...somehow."

"Natalie, this psycho as you call him was only after you to get to me. I'd be putting your life in further danger if I let you come with me. I'm sorry. Perhaps you'll see me on the news. Jenkins...it's time..."

"NO!" said Natalie and she grabbed a hold of Binkle, just as he was transported. They appeared in the exact same pose moments later on the transporter pad in Binkle's bedroom. Jenkins looked quite surprised to see her.

"Sir?" he asked. Binkle looked angrily at Natalie.

"You shouldn't have done that, girl! It could have been dangerous, to interfere with the transportation.

"I got the idea from Star Trek 4," she admitted, sheepishly.

"Star Trek is not a documentary!" said Binkle. "The last thing I want is for you to be hurt!" Natalie seemed to go red at this.

"Sir, we should beam her back to her home immediately!" said Jenkins.

"I'm not going anywhere without a fight," said Natalie, fiercley. Binkle sighed.

"You can stay here just now and we'll work out what to do with you later. Jenkins, who'se next on the list?"

"A dog is about to drown in a park in..."

"That's all I need to know, beam me there now!"

"I'm coiming too!" said Natalie. "I want to help you catch that Scottish bastard."

"You saw the Scotsman again?" asked Jenkins with a note of concern. "Sir if anyone should come with you it should be me. Your oldest and most trusted friend!"

Binkle smiled and patted Jenkins on the shoulder. "I need you here, manning the transporter, monitoring the Prophecy Computer...and making a cup of tea for Natalie." Binkle stepped onto the transporter pad. Natalie started to follow but he held out his hand for her to stop. "Jenkins will look after you here. Tally-ho!" And, just like that, he was gone again.

 

[CaptainWacky]

"So how long have you worked for Binkle for?" Natalie asked Jenkins.

"I don't work for him, miss, I work with him," said Jenkins, snapping at her.

"Oh, I'M sorry...I didn't meant to imply..."

"No, it is quite all right," said Jenkins, a note of apology in his voice. "This Scotsman has me worried, that is all. I've known Binkle for some 8 years now. Of course, when we first met he didn't have the alien technology, but even back then he was something of a hero. He saved my life, you know. I was drowning, I had...had an accident...and he saved me." Jenkins seemed to be tearing up.

"He seems like a great man," said Natalie.

"He is the best of all of us," said Jenkins, proudly.

"So you said he got technology...from aliens?"

"Hard to believe, I know," said Jenkins. "They visited him and gifted him with a computer able to predict the future, and a transporter. They told him he must only used it to do good. When he told me all of this I didn't believe him at first, to my shame, I thought he'd gone crackers! But then he showed me the computer and demonstrated the transporter. Truly remarkable."

"What did these aliens look like?" asked Natalie. Even though she had seen some of Binkle's amazing technology so still wondered about the alien part.

"Can't tell you, I never saw them," said Jenkins. "If you'll excuse me, ma'am, I must call Binkle in the other room, so how he's doing."

"Of course," said Natalie, puzzled as to why he couldn't just call Binkle here. Was there something Jenkins and Binkle didn't want her to hear? She looked around his room. There were many cards displayed on a shelf. She read one. It said "Thank you for saving my life. You are so hot! From Jenny." She felt a little jealous. Jenkins returned to the room.

"Ah yes, he has been getting a lot of fan mail, well deserved!" There was a bleeping sound on the communicator and Jenkins checked it. "Here he comes," he said. Binkle appeared on the transporter. He was soaking wet but in good spirits.

"That was jolly good fun!" he said. "Always nice to save a dear doggie from doom. And no Scotsman around." Jenkins was furiously checking something on the computer. "What is it, Jenkins?" asked Binkle.

"A woman is about to be murdered, sir. And according to the computer...the Scotsman is the killer!"

"Let me see that!" said Binkle, hurridely checking the computer. Natalie looked at it too over his shoulder...and couldn't believe what she was seeing. "I must leave now!" said Binkle.

"And this time I AM coming!" said Natalie, in a panic.

"Young lady, I told you before..."

"The woman who's about to be murdered? It's my mother," said Natalie.

 

[CaptainWacky]

"This can't just be a coincidence," said Binkle. "The Scotsman must be targetting her because I saved you from him...Natalie, I am so sorry!"

"Don't be sorry, just save her!" said Natalie.

"Right, right," said Binkle. "Jenkins, I abhor guns as you know, but this is one of those times where it may be necessary..."

"I understand, sir," said Jenkins, walking out of the room quickly.

"Where's he going?" asked Natalie.

"The aliens gave me the transporter, the computer...and a weapon. An alien raygun," said Binkle, gravely.

"So you can blow the Scotsman away," said Natalie, happily.

"I have NEVER killed anyone," said Binkle, agrily.

"But some of the people you've thought have been evil, murderers!" said Natalie, astonished.

"It is not up to me to decide who lives or dies," said Binkle. "I am not God. I merely serve him."

"Uhh...right...but if that Scottish bastard has hurt my mother I WILL kill him and you won't be able to stop me."

Jenkins returned with the raygun before Binkle could reply to this. Binkle and Natalie stepped onto the transporter pad.

"Tally-ho, sir?" asked Jenkins.

"Tally-ho," said Binkle, grimly.

They appeared in Natalie's mother's home.

"Jenkins said that she...that it will happen in the kitchen," whispered Binkle. But not for another five minutes.

"The kitches in throug there," said Natalie. They made their way silently to the kitchen. Binkle positioned himself in front of the door. He looked at Natalie. She gave a nod. Binkle through the door open and he and Natalie jumped into the kitched. There, Natalie's mother was lying tied up on the floor, the Scotsman standing over her with a knife, a demented look on his face. Natalie screamed.

"Put down that knife right now!" said Binkle, aiming the raygun at the Scotsman. The Scotsman just laughed.

"You have to shoot him!" said Natalie. "Shoot him!"

The Scotsman swang the knife downwards at Natalie's mother. Binkle pulled the trigger on the raygun...and nothing happened. Blood squirted over the walls, over Natalie and over Binkle.

"NOOOOO!" cried Binkle. He threw the gun away and charged at the Scotsman...who drove the knife right into Binkle's chest. Binkle looked down at his chest in disbelief.

"Two down, one to go," said the Scotsman looking at Natalie.

 

[Ishcabittle]

Wow.

 

[CaptainWacky]

sarcasm

 

[CaptainWacky]

Binkle staggered back, clutching his chest...then pulled the knife out. There was no blood.

"What the hell!?" said the Scotsman in disbelief.

"I never leave the house without body armour," said Binkle. "You're toast now!"

"Not today, Binkle," said the Scotsman, grimly. He disappeared just like that.

"Blast it!" said Binkle. "How did he activate his transporter...oh Natalie, your poor mother, I'm so sorry."

"She's...she's still alive," said Natalie. Binkle ran to phone an ambulance.

"Natalie...Natalie..." said her mother, fading fast.

"Don't try to talk, mom!" said Natalie, tears in her eyes.

"Natalie...he said he was going to...rape you...uurgh!" she said and then spoke no more.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Natalie as Binkle lowered his head in respect.

Hours later, Binkle was ready to say his finale goodbyes to Natalie.

"I'm sorry, Natalie. About everything. Your mother's death, it was all..."

"Sssh," said Natalie. "It wasn't your fault. None of it. It was the Scotsman. That's why...why I'm going to help you kill him."

"Natalie, I can't let risk your life further..."

"I'd be dead if not for you, remember? By rights I shouldn't be standing here now. Every day is a bonus, a gift. From you. I'm coming with you. We'll find the Scotsman together."

"Well...how can I say no to that!" said Binkle and he hugged Natalie. She didn't tell him about her mother's final words, about the Scotsman's plans for her. Binkle held her tight and they transported back to his bedroom. Into Hell.

"Something's wrong..." said Natalie and felt stupid afterwards. Of course something was wrong, the bedroom was a mess.

"Jenkins!" said Binkle, concerned. He ran to the crime room with Natalie behind him. The Prophecy Computer was gone. A message was written in blood on the wall.

"JENKINS IS DEAD. YOU WILL BE NEXT. LOL."

 

[CaptainWacky]

"What are we going to do? Binkle? BINKLE?" Natalie screamed in his face but Binkle didn't move. He had dropped down to his knees and looked utterly defeated. Natalie spoke again, more softly. "Binkle, we have to stop this maniac. Please, you have to get up."

"I can't," said Binkle, at last.

"Please! You're the only hope..."

"I'm nothing!" snapped Binkle. "I'm a fraud Natalie, a good for nothing fraud!"

"You are not! You're the bravest man I've ever met."

"Oh yes, so brave!" said Binkle sarcastically. "It's easy to be brave when you're back up by alien technology. When you can transport away from danger! When you have a computer that can predict the future! But now? I have nothing! NOTHING! Jenkins, my oldest most beloved friend is dead...and I'm alone."

"You have me!" said Natalie, tears in her eyes.

"Natalie you're a remarkable woman, but you can't help. Don't you see? I was only the Extraordinary Mister Binkle because of the alien technology. Without it I'm nothing."

"Why do you think the aliens picked you to be Earth's hero?" asked Natalie.

"Just...random. Luck. Ha. Turned out to be a curse!"

"No, Binkle," said Natalie, passionately. "They chose you because you ARE extraordinary. Even without all the alien crap! You're a hero, in your heart! They could see that. I can see that!"

Binkle looked up into Natalie's eyes, then stood up. She kissed him, then drew away. He grabbed her around the waist and kissed her passionately. Natalie did not resist.

"But how are we going to find him?" asked Binkle, eventually.

Natalie turned on the television. There was a breaking news story.

"A man calling himself only THE SCOTSMAN has hijacked a plane!" said the reporter. "The pilot radio'd in to report that the Scotsman just suddenly APPEARED in his cockpit as if by magic! The Scotsman is saying he'll crash the plane unless the Extraordinary Mister Binkle comes forward to fight him in a duel to the death! It is not clear..."

"Well, now we know," said Binkle. "Come on, Natalie. We've got some Scottish arse to give a jolly good kicking!"