CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"WELCOME, TO THE TWENTY SEVENTH ANNUAL POTATO RACE!" said Percy Potato, Mayor of Potato Town. All the little potatoes cheered but a few surly chips booed. Percy ignored them. "IT'S A GREAT DAY FOR A POTATO RACE! POTATOES, START YOUR ENGINES! AND, BY THAT, I MEAN GET READY TO RACE! BECAUSE YOU DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE ENGINES. YOU'RE POTATOES."
"STOP SHOUTING!" shouted a big lump of mash.
"NEVER!" said Percy. "ON YER MARKS, GET SET...GIDDY-GIDDY-GOOOOOOOOOO!"
The three potatoes taking part in the race this year all started hopping forward towards the finish line. Ten minutes later they were still hopping. A chip yawned loudly and rudely.
"I could have finished by now," said the chip, confidently. "Nine minutes ago!"
"Yeah well we don't let chips in the potato race!" said Madam Mouse, a female potato who some said looked like a mouse, even though she didn't. "No one wants you chips around here!"
"NOW CALM THE FUCK DOWN, ALL OF YOU," shouted the mayor. "WE DON'T WANT THE POTATO RACE TO DESCEND INTO A RIOT AGAIN! FIFTY SEVEN PEOPLE DIED LAST YEAR INCLUDING MY WIFE!"
"YEah, beause you murdered her!" said the confident chip. It was quite true, the mayor had stabbed his wife to death during the chaos.
"We want a new mayor!" said a baked potato.
"WELL FUCKING TOUGH!" said the major, and he pressed a button and everyone, potatoes, chips, mash and even fritters, feel into the ground in pain. "I INSERTED CHIPS (NO PUN INTENTED) IN ALL YOUR HEARDS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL PAIN JUST BY ME PRESSING THIS BUTTON, SO YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME! NOW BACK TO THE FUCKING RACE!"
"Uhh, we already finished, I won," said the winner of the race.
"THEN IT'S TIME FOR MY TO MASTURBATE AS YOU ALL WRITHE IN AGONY!" said the mayor, turning the pain-causer up to full and stroking his fat cock as his subjects experienced the worst pain of their potato lives. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, GOD I LOVE BEING POTATO MAYOR!"
"STOP SHOUTING!" shouted a big lump of mash.
"NEVER!" said Percy. "ON YER MARKS, GET SET...GIDDY-GIDDY-GOOOOOOOOOO!"
The three potatoes taking part in the race this year all started hopping forward towards the finish line. Ten minutes later they were still hopping. A chip yawned loudly and rudely.
"I could have finished by now," said the chip, confidently. "Nine minutes ago!"
"Yeah well we don't let chips in the potato race!" said Madam Mouse, a female potato who some said looked like a mouse, even though she didn't. "No one wants you chips around here!"
"NOW CALM THE FUCK DOWN, ALL OF YOU," shouted the mayor. "WE DON'T WANT THE POTATO RACE TO DESCEND INTO A RIOT AGAIN! FIFTY SEVEN PEOPLE DIED LAST YEAR INCLUDING MY WIFE!"
"YEah, beause you murdered her!" said the confident chip. It was quite true, the mayor had stabbed his wife to death during the chaos.
"We want a new mayor!" said a baked potato.
"WELL FUCKING TOUGH!" said the major, and he pressed a button and everyone, potatoes, chips, mash and even fritters, feel into the ground in pain. "I INSERTED CHIPS (NO PUN INTENTED) IN ALL YOUR HEARDS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL PAIN JUST BY ME PRESSING THIS BUTTON, SO YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME! NOW BACK TO THE FUCKING RACE!"
"Uhh, we already finished, I won," said the winner of the race.
"THEN IT'S TIME FOR MY TO MASTURBATE AS YOU ALL WRITHE IN AGONY!" said the mayor, turning the pain-causer up to full and stroking his fat cock as his subjects experienced the worst pain of their potato lives. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, GOD I LOVE BEING POTATO MAYOR!"
